The Thursday Blog: Hey! Reboot Me Too! Edition

Although Dark Knight was hardly the first Hollywood reboot to hit theaters, it was certainly one of the more successful examples. It’s also one of the most often cited by prospective creators who wish to make their mark on the back of previous works and don’t have the energy to change all the names. (It’s not theft, it’s creative borrowing. And it’s not even that if no one catches you at it.)

One of the most recent projects of this sort to be green-lit is Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Apparently the Warner Brothers did approach Joss Whedon with a stick and a dead horse, but he politely declined, so they opened the project up to other interested parties. Actress turned writer Whit Anderson, who is admittedly much hotter than Joss, (a sure sign of writing ability) entered the picture with her slightly older, more updated vision of our dear Miss Summers.

Although I haven’t read it anywhere, I cannot imagine that this movie is not intended to be a pilot for a possible TV series. While it would be a really tough sell to long-time fans for whom a Whedonless Buffy sounds about as appealing as a toilet that flushes backwards, there is now an entire new generation of kids out there who think that vampires are supposed to sparkle and the proper role for young women is to moon about and sigh. I agree that the thought kind of gives me hives, but if there’s any chance at making a good role-modely show for today’s kids… even if it isn’t a show for me… I guess I say go for it.

Can it possibly keep up with its namesake? Well, no. I doubt it. TV Guide ranks Buffy third for all time best television series, and Empire Magazine puts it at number two… right ahead of the Sopranos. But, that doesn’t mean they can’t make a good show, or movie, or whatever the hell they’re planning on doing. Personally, I’m planning on rebooting myself, as a twenty nine year old lotto winner who fights crime as he travels the world in his jet black sailboat romancing women and lifting up their skirts behind their backs with his telekinetic powers.

You know… just like Dark Knight.

 

P.S. I thought you might be interested in Mr. Whedon’s official response to the news. Poor guy…

“Kristin, I’m glad you asked for my thoughts on the announcement of Buffy the cinema film. This is a sad, sad reflection on our times, when people must feed off the carcasses of beloved stories from their youths — just because they can’t think of an original idea of their own, like I did with my Avengers idea that I made up myself.

 

Obviously I have strong, mixed emotions about something like this. My first reaction upon hearing who was writing it was, ‘Whit Stillman AND Wes Anderson? This is gonna be the most sardonically adorable movie EVER.’ Apparently I was misinformed. Then I thought, ‘I’ll make a mint! This is worth more than all my Toy Story residuals combined!’ Apparently I am seldom informed of anything. And possibly a little slow. But seriously, are vampires even popular any more?

 

I always hoped that Buffy would live on even after my death. But, you know, AFTER. I don’t love the idea of my creation in other hands, but I’m also well aware that many more hands than mine went into making that show what it was. And there is no legal grounds for doing anything other than sighing audibly. I can’t wish people who are passionate about my little myth ill. I can, however, take this time to announce that I’m making a Batman movie. Because there’s a franchise that truly needs updating. So look for The Dark Knight Rises Way Earlier Than That Other One And Also More Cheaply And In Toronto, rebooting into a theater near you.

 

Leave me to my pain! Sincerely, Joss Whedon.”

21 Responses to The Thursday Blog: Hey! Reboot Me Too! Edition

  1. If that’s an actual quote I’d say J.W. sounds so thrilled and excited to see what other people can do with his concept.
    To be honest I never liked the original but maybe the new version is even better… dare I hope?

      • but buffy existed before his show. … you know that extremely campy movie of the eighties? … you guys can’t see a remaking of that movie ?

      • Then we have a difference of opinion: I thought it was terrible crap, much like everything else on television.

  2. Hollywood spends most of it’s time these days re-treading old movies…Nobody can do Hitchcock movies better than Hitchcock, and remaking classic Disney films like The Parent Trap and Freaky Friday is just WRONG…and it appears that they plan to keep making batman movies set in completely different universes until they run out of alternate dimensions.

      • And when something remotely original comes along like Chris Paolini’s Inheritance series (Hey, it may be 90% like LOTR, but the plotline and setting are new), Hollywood mercilessly rapes the story to make a few quick bucks.

        (Like “Poof! Instant Adult dragon”, “Where the heck did the underground dwarf city go?”, and so on…)

        • Elfguy wrote: “And when something remotely original comes along like Chris Paolini’s Inheritance series (Hey, it may be 90% like LOTR, but the plotline and setting are new)”

          You mean “new” as in “old and trite schlock”, right?
          No, really, please don’t tell me you maent that serious. The words “original” and “Chris Paolini” don’t belong in the same sentence.

          If you even admit it’s a total LotR rip-off, how can you at the same time call it “original”?

          That shit rips off LotR, Star Wars, Dragonriders of Pern (except DoP was scifi) and every fantasy cliché combined, and the titular Protagonist is one of the biggest Gary Stues I’ve ever seen. But please enlighten me what is so “new and original” about the plot and setting of the Inheritance trilogy?

          • Enlighten us to exactly how the dragons in the series resemble Pernese ones…They don’t teleport, for one thing…which was the big thing about the dragons in that series, “Going Between”…plus there’s no equivalent to Thread.

            I doubt the writer has even READ D.R.O.P.

            • Seriously dragons? Been there done that… 😛

              I like the Inheritance series, movie was awful!!!!!, but I like the books.

              • They’re nothing like Pernese dragons…pernese ones bond AFTER hatching, not before, and their eggs don’t go into stasis until the “right person” comes along either.

                And I don’t know of any fantasy stories where an entire language is magically re-encoded to be the language of magic and truth in order to limit how magic works and prevent accidental armegeddons every time some peasant with magical talent bashes his thumb with a hammer.

  3. Heheh… some ideas are timeless and get recycled ever 7 years or so. But to recycle the series too is fucking lazy. Lately Hollywood seems to be giving jobs out exclusively on the basis of who is willing to fuck on the casting couch. More than usual, I mean. Completely unrelated, but hilarious, here is Alex Jones meeting a comedian who does not fear the Man. Skip to 3:00 to skip Joe Rogan telling the whole thing in advance http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hy1zeA9RMWs

  4. I had to search to see who this Whit(short for Whitney?) girl was, because I’ve never heard of her, and the second Google link said “‘Who the fuck is Whit Anderson?’ And other ‘Buffy’ remake stuff”…It came as no surprise when, again, I looked for her photo to see who I was dealing with and the first image had “Whit who?” plastered over it. It does not inspire confidence, I can tell you.

    I must admit I’m not a Buffy fan, or at least I’ve never bothered watching more than a few episodes. Apparently these were 1st season episodes so it might have been the reason I never really got into it, it was probably still forming up back then.
    It’s also that I’ve never been much into vampires and all that stuff(them being undead abominations who must be purged from the face of the earth, as any competent cleric knows). Maybe one day I’ll try and watch it again.

      • Poor Orald…we thought for a moment you’d caught some awful fungus infection that made you turn green…

        Every Hollywood vampire since Bela Lugosi’s depiction of Dracula has gotten worse. And even the Lugosi Dracula still suffered from Hollywood-itis, being vulnerable to sunshine, for example…