Last week the far flung eskimo village of Kivalina was surprised to discover the surface of their tiny bay was covered over with a bright orange film, as well as buckets and barrels the population had set out to collect rainwater. The film could be scooped up and formed a kind of oily goo, which scared residents into thinking that the unknown substance might have been some sort of petroleum by-product spill.
When removed from the water, the… stuff dried out and left a fine orange powder behind. The Coast Guard pretty immediately ruled out any kind of petrochemical leaks or spillage, but still had no idea what it was, thinking it may represent some as-yet-unknown form of algae. The state advised residents to boil all of their water before drinking or bathing in it, and fears that whatever it was, the bright orange goop probably wasn’t all that good for you caused considerable stress amongst the villagers.
Someone in town had the notion to send a sample of Orange to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration in Juneau. They were able to determine that the goop was… were eggs, billions and billions of teensy-tinsy microscopic eggs, each of which contained an even teensier-tinsier drop of orange lipid. What they were less certain of was exactly what these were the eggs of. There seemed to be some consensus that the eggs most resembled some type of crustacean, but then the discussion backed up a bit when no one could decide whether they were looking at actual eggs, or embryos. (I’m not certain myself of the distinction they were drawing between the two, so please don’t ask me!)
Now anyone who is a student of alien invasion strategies can tell you that one tactic many aliens will use is to seed Earth with dominant varieties of life from their own planet, which serves to begin reverse-terraforming our world and to create upheaval and chaos in the ranks of those who might resist their future alien overlords. It’s a proven winner, and the NOAA absolutely did not find that the eggs (or whatever) were not alien in origin. This is practically the same as saying that aliens are planting space-crabs in our water to take over our brains and turn us all into mindless, slavering, killing machines.
It’s an alien-space-crab-zombie-ghoul apocalypse. Time to gas up the chainsaw.