35 Responses to 819 – Epilogue • 001

  1. Yeah, one wrong move and his nose would have put Bunker’s eye out. 😛

    Bunker looks like a Hawaiian tourist.

  2. The warlock is out of the closet!

    And he wants to ride the paladin’s… *cough* warhorse.

  3. The raised Martin the EVIL warlock? Seriously?? They were that dumb? And they threw in a Regenerate spell on top of that, instead of chopping off his other hand too, and poking out his other eye? And then they gave him and the Fleeces access to all the magic in Castle Rottencore??? Including, possibly, the three artefact weapons of ultimate destruction????

    I’m sorry, I’m running out of question marks. I have to make due with facepalms now. *facepalm*

    • Look on the bright side: adventurers are about as willing to part ways with high-level swag as they are with their working kidneys. Morty and Zobbie would probably fight tooth and nail to keep their hands on Overwhelmed and Suave. I have no idea who might be taking Rusty Razor — that sword should be left in a pit full of molten lead, buried underneath a deepspawn lair.

      • Martin is a party member. ‘Nuff said.

        Morty and Zobbie are taking their artifacts, though both are looking for ways to silence them. Rustyrazor is going into the deepest, darkest, most secret pit of Fleece Castle… at least until all the other heroes are gone.

        • In Suave’s case, I’d recommend filling its mouth with molten lead or threatning to donate it to a leper colony.

          In Overwhelmed’s case, since it’s a Dwarven artifact, I’d recommend a combination of therapy and immersing it in the strongest ale Dwarves can brew when it is not in use.

          I wish I could say I was surprised about Rusty Razor. =_= How long will it take for the damned thing to go back to sleep…?

  4. The nice thing is, if you are raised/resurrected, the cosmic powers throw in a mending spell for your clothes, too.

  5. … So they’re leaving Martin in charge of Castle Rottencore. Martin, whose original modus operandi was to create an empire of the evil undead. Martin who, as master of Rottencore, is now basically a god within its walls.

    They’ve basically exchanged one evil overlord for another, and Martin knows about the ritual that would extend Castle Rottencore’s power over the whole world. Good job. Morons. What’s their encore, neutron bomb juggling? (A cookie to the first person to spot the reference I just made.)

  6. KRYTEN: It’s a museum to Mr Rimmer’s memory; I made it myself. If anyone finds they are missing him, they can relive those great moments – it’s all in there: the man, the memories, the personality.
    CAT: The ego…
    KRYTEN: Yes – I had to scale that down quite a bit.
    LISTER: How did you compile all the exhibits?
    KRYTEN: Well, I re-created key events in his life from Mr Rimmer’s diaries; he kept meticulous records of life on board ship. Enjoy!

    [Viewpoint cuts to a point further down the featureless track]
    RIMMER EXPERIENCE: RIMMER: Welcome, to the Rimmer Experience. A place of wonder, excitement, and… wonder. You are about to witness some heroic events, which you may well find impossible to attribute to any living person; but then, Arnold J. Rimmer was a deeply remarkable man…

    RIMMER EXPERIENCE: RIMMER: Being the driving force behind the Red Dwarf mission, the fearless Rimmer had to dice with death on a daily basis.
    LISTER: What??
    LISTER: Get me out of here!
    KRYTEN: Wait a minute; here comes the best bit…

    If you’re in trouble he will save the day,
    He’s brave and he’s fearless come what may,
    Without him the mission would go astray…

    He’s Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer,
    Without him life would be much grimmer,
    He’s handsome, trim, and no-one’s slimmer,
    He will never need a Zimmer.

    He’s Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer,
    More reliable than a garden strimmer,
    He’s never been mistaken for Yul Brynner,
    He’s not bald and his head doesn’t glimmer.

    Master of the wit and the repartee,
    His command of Space Directives is uncanny,
    How come he’s such a genius?
    Don’t ask me…

    Ask Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer,
    He’s also a fantastic swimmer,
    And if you play your cards right,
    Then he just might come ’round for dinner.

    LISTER: I never wanna see or hear from that scum-sucking, lying, weasel-minded smeghead in my entire life!!

    • Character development is for girls.

      Really though, Martin began as a sort of repressed character. He was never even remotely open with anyone. It’s not a big arc, but at least now he’s showing people how he really feels.

      • So what does this mean for Martin’s and Bunker’s players? Are Martin’s feelings indicative of any real-life affections his player might have for Bunker’s player, or was it all roleplaying?

        • Yes, it is.
          Geez, read the archives to find out which one. It has been declared plenty of times exactly how committed Martin’s player is to roleplaying.

  7. Ok so I just recently found this webcomic (I know, im so late) and spent the past week catching up from the very first one to now, and I only have one question… why does enkidu’s cig
    ar seem to float out infront of him? Oh and do u know of any other good Dnd webcomics since this one is ending?

    • If you haven’t heard of it, 8-bit Theatre is a classic. I would also recommend Order of the Stick. I know there are other good ones out there, but those are the other two I would recommend.

    • The floating cigar is a comics convention that I always found funny. See the comments for last Friday’s comics for some other recommendations.