38 Responses to 811 – The Final Adventure • 010

  1. …I finish up with the rant about the self-professed “Phallic hunter” and here comes Erias with a phallic joke.

    You were setting this up, didja Kev?

    Aside from that: after the DM finally uses his powers to derail the entire team into an impasse, pretty much EVERYONE simply ignores him? I guess the zoMartin ending really IS a possibility…seeing that the group no longer cares all the crud their DM serves them.

    Which reflects entirely just what Erias may serve them before taking his bite. A load of crud. Freshly…erm…produced. Yeah. That, or Bunker kept his Aura of Courage from 3.5 and he’s giving that +4 morale bonus against fear and that +4 morale bonus on recklessness to his entire team.

  2. “The badguy is talking and we can’t do anything about it, this sucks. Anybody have a spell, skill, ability or a magic item for this situation?”

  3. I like the laughter: Mu…Hu…Ha!

    Isn’t there a laughter-yoga?

    But H.O.L.E. is smart enough to concentrate on battle plans instead of listening to that inevitable ranting. The crucial information comes at the end of the speech anyway, and if the GM is angry enough, his dice may become unlucky…

        • My first set of dice were a some plain grey ones. They were all really good rollers except the d20. I can count the number of times i rolled above 13 on one hand. 4 times to be specific. The one time I rolled a natural 20, my DM was so suprised (I had been using these dice the entire 4 month time at that point) that she said my sword magically cleaved through all the enemies. And this was 4e and I was a Cleric. It was good thing too because we were losing badly.

          Shortly after that, I decided to do something…..a little creative. I bought a bunch more dice, arranged them in a semi-circle on the patio, put the cursed grey d20 in the center of the semi-circle and spook to all the new dice “Now listen here, youngling, you are new and fresh. He is old and a bad roller. If you follow in his footsteps this” sledge hammer to grey d20 “will happen to you.” I haven’t had too much issues from the new dice.

  4. In all honesty, feigned stupidity may work great on public-domain-totally-open-license brain eating abominations. It’s not like they can read minds or anything.

  5. Just out of interest, does anyone else enter a lengthy monologue to their dinner before eating it, or just fictional supervillains?

    “So, delicious vegetables, you have defied me for the last time. Already I have skinned you, steamed you and smothered you in gravy, and very soon I will eat you. And you are powerless to resist my deadly fork.”

  6. Interesting religion Erias has, there… o_O ‘Three-pronged carnivorous penis’? Which Great Old One is that based on?

    Interesting to see H.O.L.E.’s general stupidity and jerk-tendencies can be as damaging to an enemy as they are to fellow party members, but Erias should bone up on the evil overlord list of Things Not To Do. Specifically, Don’t Gloat. Giving hero-types (or whatever substitute is available) time to plan for an escape is just asking for trouble.

      • The Evil Overlord List provides a bounty of things that turn a villain from monster-of-the-week into recurring menace. In my current campaign, my players have had three engagements with an enemy who continues to come back because he actually runs away when severely threatened and has escape plans in place. Of course, once he’s healed, he just comes back. 🙂

  7. ..What is a three-pronged carnivorous penis, and where can you find one? I have a friend who might be interested in the pronged part……

    • I’m not aware of three-pronged or carnivorous as penis attributes. Closet I’m familiar with the platypus has a two-pronged penis and the Thompson Index includes entries for “carnivorous vagina”.

      • Now I just need to get the number of the High Lord Cthulhu, and we’ll be set 😉