For quite a while now, years in fact, the end of the story of HOLE was written out in my head. A few months ago I put it on paper, and a couple of weeks ago I finished scripting everything out. One of the things this means is that there is now a date attached to the final strip. Friday, July 8th of this year.
If you live to see it.
Unfortunately for many of us, when I started this project, planning, writing, and scheduling, I was unaware of a major conflict that was on the way and threatening to derail the whole damn thing. In sixteen days, on May 21st, the Rapture will whisk somewhere in the neighborhood of 200 million folks up out into space, where they will explosively decompress as a reward for living god-filled and righteous lives. While this keeps me safe, it is likely that some of you have been good and pious enough to (briefly) experience the horrors of hard vacuum before your eyes boil out of your head and your brains shoot from your nose.
Harold Camping is the man to thank for this prediction. His extensive and lifelong research of the bible has uncovered a formula for dating prophesy based on the date of Jesus’ crucifixion, which he places at Friday April 1, AD 33. Not only has Camping dated the Rapture, he has also pegged the actual end of the world, which will occur exactly five months later on October 21, 2011. (I am unaware if Camping has included any times, but it would certainly be a lot more convenient for those of us who would like to catch people flying up into the sky on our cell phones. I’m not waiting outside all damn day for it.)
This is Camping’s second “due by date” on our planet. His original set time was September 6, 1994. It didn’t happen then, but Camping says that while he was never super-sure about the 1994 date, he’s totally balls-on this time. For realsies.
Camping owns and operates Family Radio, a company that produces Camping-approved religious content for over 150 radio stations that belong to it across the United States, and is affiliated with eBibleFellowship.com online. Here he teaches a bible-only ministry, showing the world that churches are for trolls and fools, as they have gotten away from the true word and have all put their own spin on things. (Camping’s spin is the only right one.) Camping approaches his bible readings allegorically — nothing means what it appears to, and it is up to him to tell you what is really being said. He does this by kind of free-form associative process which is sort of a combination of a paranoid Glenn Beck hallucination and a really bad Zork game. This is apparently because god lacked the foresight to simply say what he meant, and now has to rely on interpreters.
For those of you left after god culls his tribe, I hope you enjoy the end of the comic. I had a great time putting it together. For those who don’t make it… um… sorry? But really, you did it to yourselves.