The Tuesday Videos: Cutie Patootie Edition

I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this before, but Lena has never seen E.T.. While I certainly consider it to be a failing on my part for not having properly introduced what could be considered elements of common American culture to my partner and spouse, I consider it to be more of a failing on her part.

The first video today is a preview for the (fake) sequel to E.T.. It is pretty damn well put together, and I think everyone will appreciate it.

Everyone except for Lena, that is.

Video number two is an unabashed ad for a video game, but it is one which I will almost certainly be playing soon. (Feel free to make fun, I don’t mind.) I’ve always dug the Sims, and I’ve also always downloaded all the castle and medieval looking skins I could find, enjoying the anachronistic overview of my castles and stone buildings amongst the suburban landscapes. But this really is the game I’ve been wanting to play.

Today’s final video is of a child beauty contestant who made it to the View morning talk show after being featured on Toddlers and Tiaras. The whole thing is very slightly slowed down to give the appearance of, as the title says, a drunken dwarf slurring her way through the musical number. However, this is not where the real comedy in this short lies. Watch instead the faces of the hosts as they start out clapping and wiggling to the beat, and end up repulsed and horrified by the spectacle.

21 Responses to The Tuesday Videos: Cutie Patootie Edition

  1. OK then!
    1: I was always freaked out by E.T. as a kid. I was a scared little brat. And that just reawakened my fears and amplified them 10 fold! Especially how it ended!
    2:I read about it and if it wasn’t for Dragon Age 2, Pokemon Black and White, and the myriad of other games I haven’t finished, school, work, and of course D&D I really don’t have time for it.
    3: That was just disturbing. I want to know if thats what it sounded like for real or if thats just what the guy who uploaded do to it. If not, thats some screwed up stuff.

    • No no, it didn’t really sound like that. She normally has a squeaky-high little girl voice that is MUCH less comprehensible.

      • I actually know someone who sounds like that third video. Not the original (which I haven’t seen).

        I don’t know if that’s awesome or not.

        • The original immediately follows it in queue. It’s no less creepy. And yes, like Kevin says she’s even less easy to understand.

  2. So, the first one was pretty well done, but parts of it were just so damn hokey it threw the rest of it off. The fact that Morgan Freeman didn’t even look the same in most scenes was a downer for me, not to mention that E.T.’s race just seemed so laid back in the movie I find it hard to believe they have sharp teeth and flaming index fingers.

    The second video was a good add, but for a product I have no interest in. I never got into the Sims, though I know plenty of people that did. Maybe they’ll want to play it.

    Video number three was creepy as hell. I watched the real thing afterwards to see how much they slowed it down. The answer is a lot. That little girl was all squeaky and, well, a little girl. I did enjoy the looks on the various host’s faces. From outright disgust to amusement or somewhere in between. I think contempt would describe Sharon Osbourne’s look. And mine.

    • I liked Leah Remi’s response (the first shot they show of her). It’s the “because I have to be nice on the show, I’ll fake a smile, but I really hate this crap” face.

      I had seen snippets of her performing while my wife watched one of those tabloid shows (ET….probably not quite as tabloidy as TMZ, but still). So I knew how much it was slowed down…..what got me is that the whole song SLOWED DOWN was under 1 1/2 minutes. And yet they are going to try to make some sort of career out of crap like that. At least it’s over quick.

  3. Wow epic compilation of movies to make that ET…ExT 😛 video. I mean seriously that combined everything from cheesy Syphy snake movies to Morgan Freeman. I couldn’t ask for more. I counted at least 12 movie references through the whole thing.

    2. Funny, sims never got into it, but i like the idea of being my own king.

    3. … that dwarf had one hell of a hairdoo.

    • Eww, Orit Fox. 😯
      Pity she didn’t die as well though…I bet if she wasn’t famous and surrounded by lawyers they’d charge her for animal abuse/cruelty.

    • I would throw child beauty pageants in the same bucket with anti-gay activists and religion as far as things which draw the eye yet are also kind of disgusting and silly all at the same time. My obsession is with the bucket.

  4. That was a neat trailer. It was a skillful mashup of movies and a nice bit of CGI and editing- very convincing. Took all the creepy/scary elements of the original and really ramped it up.

    The second vid was great- it’s what I wish they’d have done with the Sims a long time ago. As cool as it is, I probably still won’t have time for it.

    Thr third just underscored how ultimately creepy the whole Toddlers and Tiaras really is. When you really listen to what words the girl is singing, and how her mom LET (or is it MADE) her do it, and how every pedofile in the country must be salivating over it, it’s easy to see why the hosts look so horrified! Does she even know what patootie means? I doubt it.

  5. the first I have to say is another example of a movie trailer for a movie that doesn’t exist, but should, though in this case it’s debatable wether it’s a a suitable sequel
    as for the second, like many other readers, I never got into sims, though I did play simcity for a time, but that one is more management and planning, and not putting your finger into how others live their lives
    and the third… yet again you manage to end the video trio on a vomit bucket

  6. 1. OK, that was creepy. 😯 Where did they get all the different snippets and the CGI?
    “And, of course, in 3-D!” 😆

    2. That’s a Sims game? 😐 Reminds me a bit of Fable 3.

    3. Too afraid to click on it!