The Tuesday Videos: Memories Edition

My favorite ritual before I went to kindergarten in the morning was sitting right in front of the TV (back before anyone knew you shouldn’t sit that close) with a bowl of cereal and watching the Banana Splits. When I could I would get some banana slices in the bowl to make me feel even “closer” to the action. I had an 8-track of their music I played long after the show went off the air, though I probably spent just as much time looking at the little picture of them on the front of it.

Looking at the show now, it’s difficult not to notice how frenetically violent it is. Noting this, and thinking about how little I perceived it as a kid reinforces to me the idea that children do not model their behavior on their entertainment, but rather on their parents. If a kid is a piece of crap, there’s really only one explanation, and it ain’t Grand Theft Auto, comic books, or the Banana Splits.

Oompa Loompa doompadee doo

I’ve got another puzzle for you

Oompa Loompa doompadee dee

If you are wise you will listen to me

Who do you blame when your kid is a brat

Pampered and spoiled like a Siamese cat?

Blaming the kids is a lion of shame

You know exactly who’s to blame:

The mother and the father!

Oompa Loompa doompadee dah

If you’re not spoiled then you will go far

You will live in happiness too

Like the Oompa Loompa doompadee do

So now that I’ve gotten you thinking about Willy Wonka, here are the Banana Splits.

I really never watch Jimmy Kimmel’s show, but every once in a while he does something that I hear about and it just makes me laugh.

FOX News is a strange mix these days of bible-thumping patrio-zealots and leering, lecherous swine. While it’s a perfectly sensible argument to note that one group engenders the other, I find myself much more at home amongst the swine than the zealots.

29 Responses to The Tuesday Videos: Memories Edition

  1. You had a disturbed childhood, it would seem. 😕
    I believe it’s more than the parents alone though(that’s without addressing the more abnormal physiological reasons for growing up as a douchebag, but those are probably more related to true axe-craziness levels than just being a jerk), it’s society as a whole and the immediate community and education one is exposed to. And while the parents are supposedly responsible for all this, not everyone can take full control over it. They’re still to blame for some of it though, like making kids in such an environment in the first place.

    I haven’t been bothered to look it up, but is Bush Jr. dyslexic? Or it could be he just stutters. I refuse to believe he’s just plain dumb(he’s not the brightest, that’s for sure, but that’s hardly a requirement in politicians) as all the jokes make him to be. So where’s the PC code everyone loves to hang on to but ignores when it comes to his speech impediment?

    Just 10 minutes of breast-staring a day? With my daily dosage I’m gonna live forever!
    Oh, and any word on the benefits of penis-staring?

    • In my personal opinion Dubya is a sociopath with narcissistic personality disorder. It would fit certain… symptoms.

      But many politicians have been remotely diagnosed with a narcissistic personality. The German news magazine Der SPIEGEL ran an article about a psychiatrist who had written a book about how he had taken a look at the behaviour exhibited by many upper echelon politicians, New Olympian financiers, cult leaders, and similar personalities who manage to charm and sway the masses. The finding was that, sadly, a certain amount of narcissism and arrogance seems to be a requirement to make the way to the top, as it grants them an unshakable belief in their own importance and a sense of entitlement, the ability to manipulate others, lie convincingly and not feel the slightest bit guilty. As the saying goes, the most convincing lie is the one you believe in yourself, and their inflated egos mean they come to believe in this version of reality they have constructed.

      Remember when Karl Rove sneered at the “reality-based community” (the Left) and spoke about how the Neo-Conservatives (or more precisely The Project for a New American Century) “create [their] own reality”? How very post-modern of him.

      • That’s not what I was talking about at all. A politician who believes in himself and his zigzagging way to the top and feels no qualms about lying? Come on, that’s the whole lot of them, including Mr. Barak “Libyan Oil Robber” Obama, so you need a better insult than that.
        I asked about a possible, tangible speech impediment on Bush’s part. He’s not a retarded, but he sometimes speaks like he has dyslexia. A friend of mine has minor dyslexia and keeps messing up simple words in writing even though he’s not an idiot and knows when he makes a mistake(and I sure love to point those out…I’m obsessive-compulsive that way). From what I saw in that video Bush messes up and tries to correct himself.
        I know you hate Bush(I hate him too, for the same reasons and others, being a politician is at the heart of it all), but try to keep this objective and scientific.

        • All first-hand accounts of the man paint him as very charming and intelligent. It looks to me like he just has a VERY hard time with the speechifying in public, which is borne out by the fact that he did get better as he became more practiced.

          The narcissism kinda goes without saying, but I don’t think it relates to his gaffes. Bush Sr. had similar problems.

          • The “charming” part also goes without saying. It’s a job requirement for politicians. Strangely enough so are oratory skills, but I guess they can’t all be perfect snake-oil salesmen like the current president.

    • I don’t know if he’s dyslexic or not. But I do know that he’s just not a very good public speaker. I can relate.

  2. I actually went to a Banana Splits concert when I was a kid. Not really a big affair like some of the kids shows groups get nowadays. It was just on a platform stage set up in the parking lot of a shopping center, but for an 8 year old I thought it was really great. Didn’t have an 8 track but did have their album. *wonders if the younger readers are confused with all this 8 track and album talk*

  3. Please tell me the third one is a satire by The Onion. I’m too afraid to click on the video.

      • Though I’m not sure why Fox News has anything to do with it…it was done by a bunch of German scientists, and initially reported by Reuters…then every single news organization on the planet picked it up…it’s not like Fox was the only one who reported it.

        I would think that the medical problems reported by the “no breast staring group” were caused by the stress of constantly having to think “Don’t stare…don’t Stare…DAMN THOSE ARE HUGE…but don’t stare….”

        • It has everything to do with Fox News. It’s an example of their very soul. They’re also evil and on the wrong side of the political map.
          Come on, it’s Kevin. What did you expect, fair treatment? 🙄

    • Just for you Christina:

      “It’s a satire by The Onion.”
      The preceding statement was a lie.


  4. **** CONFIRMED ****

    Breasts do indeed lead to increase health in heart due to higher levels of cardiovascular behavior. However lower levels of rational thought have been found in men after a period of five minutes. Suggested to keep breast watching to a minimum in environments that use heavy machinery or driving.

    Affects on woman are similar but are acute to a smaller portion of the population group compared to men.

  5. As a certain snake found out the hard way, biting breasts instead of just looking at them may kill you….

  6. I really didn’t remember the Banana Splits being quite that silly. I guess when you are a child you will watch anything, but when you get older it must be breast. I also would like to see the study on penis watching. Btw, this is me Kevin.

  7. The Banana Splits was a bit before my time, i think. Or I may have been watching a different channel. Probably the Bozo Show, Sesame Street, or the old ultra-violent/racist Looney Tunes. The monkey does look very familiar for some reason, but none of the rest ring a bell. At least it wasn’t Spongebob! Oh how I loathe Spongebob…

    So very right- sometimes Kimmel does hit a home run. I wonder what percent of the late night shows are done by the writers and how much is the host/comedian’s own material. Gotta be tough for one guy to come up with something fresh and hilarious every night.

    Staring at boobs is heathy- yes indeed… until they catch you staring at them! Then it becomes decidedly hazardous to your health! 😯 Now if they’d only discover that oral sex prevented cancer, it would be a perfect world. Maybe we should start spreading that rumor around!?!? Even if it doesn’t, everyone would be a lot happier trying to prove or disprove it.

  8. Huh… I grew up in Italy and remember finding Banana Split boring cause it wasn’t Lupin where people got shot in the face… last time I was there they showed the crotch scene from Basic Instinct, unedited, at 6:30 on a slow news day on the 6:00 news, as a way to intro a Sharon Stone story. Italians have a lower rate of violence and rape than the US.