Ah, the old “fate worse than death” punishment…now all the DM needs to do is make her lose her voice and go deaf too…
Hellen Keller Versus the Polymorphed Halfling!
Helen Keller wasn’t ugly too in addition to being blind and deaf; some might think that is insufficiently disabled.
Where’s the love?
What love? This is Martin (-Fleece) we’re talking about. Dude is several different kinds of hateful, congratulations on constructing such a convincing jerk.
I wonder if Fleece has blind fighting…..
I have a feeling she’ll soon need a “Quadriplegic Fighting” feat as well. Now if only she were a psion it wouldn’t have been so bad.
Could result in scenes like this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKhEw7nD9C4
(Black knight seriously failed his Intimidate roll at the end there…)
I have a suspicion that both Martin’s and Enkidu’s players are much younger than the rest, with the exception of Zobbie perhaps.
I wonder what Zobbie will say if she hears from Freya what Martin did.
Back when I played Hackmaster my buddy had a chaotic evil warlock-thief Drow covered in bandages so that “no one would know” he was a Drow. He fucked over the party at every turn and powered up like a true motherfucker. God I hated that bastard. I would have loved to have watched this happen to him:)
Random villager: “It’s…. a horrible, pointy-eared creature covered in dirty bandages, with red eyes that glow in the torchlight, and colorless hair! A creature that roams about at night and shuns the daylight, and wields demonic magics and wicked knives and kills without remorse. It had its black, rotting fingertips around my throat and threatened to eat my children! Help!”
Random village sage: “It’s… a mummy! An elven mummy! An evil undead!”
Random village tavern owner (retired adventurer): “KILL IT WITH FIRE!”
Random village tavern owner’s wife (retired adventurer): “Here, let me cast this Sending scroll and call our old friend, Selina Sunbless the cleric.”
Paladin (just passing by because his holy warhorse Fiendslayer is being reshod at the village blacksmith’s): “Did someone say undead?” (unsheathes his Holy Avenger +12 sword)
Random village merchant: “Maybe it was just a leper?”
Cleric: “Lepers don’t explode when holy sunlight hits them!”
Really, if that guy’s character is an openly evil warlock/thief, being a drow too is the least of his problems.
Edit: Wait, HackMaster has a warlock class now? And drow?
If it dies when you throw it on the fire, it was a vampire.
I thought that was the sign of a witch.
Or was it “if they don’t die in the fire then it means they’re witches”?
No. If she floats, she’s a witch.
You sure? Maybe we should just drown it in burning oil to be certain? Of course, if it survives it MUST be a witch!
Or a 12th level adventurer.
If you drive a stake through its heart, cut off its head and stuff its mouth with holy wafers, and it dies, it was a vampire.
And if it lives?
first panel is very artistic, excellent mood setter
Bunker, the evil shadowy mastermind.
While I still wish the comic was in color, I like the artwork here very much. Not much background, but nice details on the characters.
Mostly thank you?
I really do try make it something that I at least would want to look at. I figure it’s pretty much crap compared to a LOT of the art out there, but honestly, as long as you can tell the figures apart and it gets a story across, then it’s doing the job.
Don’t be so coy your artwork is Great!
I second that! You do a fantastic job, especially with the character’s expressions and body language.
The last panel is the best IMHO.
I thought the last panel was certainly the funniest, but art-wise I like panel 3.
I like that one too, but would have liked it more if it had been a slightly more distant perspective, so you can see that she’s fallen into a deep, deep pit.
But it isn’t a deep, deep pit.
Well, yeah. Metaphorically speaking it’s only the beginning. 😛
well, alrighty then!
I felt recently that you’ve gotten better at faces and proportions.
I can see how Morty could forget such a trifle at this juncture. ^^ If bad stuff happens to Enkidu now as well, I wouldn’t mind.
But why didn’t Morty patch up Fleece/Martin? Martin/Fleece? Is it okay to just call her Fleece? Less verbal confusion.
There is a reason, we just haven’t gotten to it yet.
“Whoops! Just forgot to how to heal half-orcs!”
Comic gold. 😆 And nice alliteration, too.
Alliteration? “How to heal half-orcs”? 😕
The H. Though it was unintentional.
So unintentional I had to search the text again to notice any kind of repetitiveness at all. Maybe if he referred to him as “half-human” instead, which would’ve also pissed Enkidu off, I bet. That is, assuming the other half IS human.
random question kevin, have you ever had someone attempt to use weighted dice?
heh. Sorry. I’ll let Kevin elaborate…
The short answer, in the manner you mean, is no. I have certainly seen weighted dice used at cons and such before, and I myself know a trick for rolling six-sided dice to land however I want them to, but to cheat in a home game? No. It wouldn’t really be smart anyway, because in a home game people are much more likely to notice suspicious dice rolling anyway.
That said, we have a vote at the end of every game for the “best player”. (Could be best tactics, best role play, funniest… there are no rules on how to vote.) The winner of the vote gets a cheater die (no 1, two 20s) to use all night at the next session. It’s fun!
And if you don’t get to use the “cheater” die, just ignore your die roll and announce your success at whatever action you were trying to accomplish. 😉
Well, that’s only for girls.
2 weeks ago in session I DMed 2 of the players got fatalities, (2 natural 20s in a row followed by a high enough attack to beat AC = instant kill.) One of those 2 players also rolled 32 natural 20s out of 93 rolls… He was using the official WotC roller, and more than once during the session I got up and used his roller, it was working fine.
I’m pretty sure he was cheating, (It’s possible with that roller to type into the results field, although I wouldn’t expect him to have been computer-savvy enough to notice.) Unfortunately I wasn’t sure how to accuse him without ruining a real life friendship. I got him to use a physical dice the next session and fudged a few enemy rolls against him almost killing off his character.
Dear DM, (or anyone in the thread)
How can you punish a cheating player without ruining a real life friendship? Especially if you can’t prove he was cheating.
Yeah… typically I don’t bother. As long as no one’s fun is being ruined I’m generally inclined to look the other way. If it becomes upsetting to others then you don’t actually have to say anything, the consensus will take care of it. In my view relationships always trump games. (Especially when it’s so easy for the DM to cheat right back.)
In my other secret identity I’m a computational scientist specializing in Monte Carlo methods (which use quasirandom number sequences). I can tell you that “random number generators” built into things like the WotC roller are not random at all. You give it input, it gives you output. It is possible to feed a generator an initializing seed that will result in a sequence of high rolls in a program like this. In fact, it’s simple to hack. In fact, I just did it myself. So my best advice is to not let anyone use the bloody thing.
In the days before computers (yeah, I”m that old) I had a guy in a campaign I DMed who kept rolling 20s all the time and the rest of his party were getting very, very annoyed. So, I went out and bought tons of dice and told everyone that all rolls had to happen using “house dice” from then on. “Amazingly”, the problem was solved, and everyone was happy (except of course the person in question, but ya cant please everyone).
Establish “dice etiquette” for your table.
For example, in my games it is only a valid die roll if it stays on the table and comes to rest on a level surface. Second, it is only valid if it was rolled on your turn (used to have a player who was notorious for rolling during other people’s turns – if he liked what he rolled, he would keep it until his turn came up, if not, he would wait for me to call his name and make his “real” roll).
You could simply state that you don’t want dice rolling apps used at the table, because you don’t trust the apps (you don’t even have to say you don’t trust the player in this case – win/win).
Mad Speculation time: Fleece is going to die. Martin gives a sigh of relief that it’s all over at least, and begins rolling up a new character… until he hears the GM laugh. And is presented with the next in the infinite line of Fleeces he has to play.
Much better to keep him alive and prolong the torture.
I think Martin’s player would consider words equivilant to ‘This sister is Lawful good” as a particularly nasty brand of torture.
Can you see Martin playing a Lawful Good character at all? Because I can’t.
Sure in a world ruled by Anarchy.
Sure, give him paladin powers and a sweet ego weapon that smites him whenever he strays from lawful good, in proportion to the indiscretion. Carrot, stick and waterboarding works on most people.
Although I shudder to think how Martin’s player would play a slutty!Fleece.
He said vagina. Would it be funnier if he said woo woo? He is infantile.
Enkidu pretty much goes for shock value. “Woo-hoo” just wouldn’t carry the same weight.
Unless it was yo momma’s woo woo!
Strange. Penny Arcade this week is doing a series about the other way this could have gone.
Poor Fleece- the DM’s new punching bag. I hope she has another “twin” sister for when this one is all worn out. Maybe she has an evil twin brother that looks just like Martin, but elvish!
If she does, said evil twin would be an NPC , and Martin would be stuck with a non-evil Fleece….
Wait a minute, who said Fleece wasn’t evil?
Funny as it may be for comedic effect, the obvious `wrath of the angry DM` routine is a good way to watch your gaming party disband — take it from personal experience. Moisture ruining equipment might be a -2 skill check penalty, partial visual occlusion might be a further stacking -5 penalty, trap being under murky water might be a further stacking -4 penalty, but the trap being in a known position might give an offsetting +4 bonus; the result of the roll is the same, but at least the Rogue isn’t mutinous after the trip and fall.
Not exactly…this is a third, different tunnel…just because the OTHER water filled tunnel had a pit in a Known Location doesn’t mean THIS one does…
Given that Martin’s player probably loaded both the characters of Martin and Fleece with absurdedly overpowered magic tems with overpowered boni (and is the king of min-maxing), the penalties have to be similarly absurd . Also, for comedic effect.
Seriously, remember Gladiri’s lair and Martin handing a headband of intellect +7 to Enkidu? Even Enkidu remarked that normally they only go up to INT +6. You can bet that Martin grabbed even better stuff for himself and Fleece… although that was the other Fleece, but there’s been enough time since then to power up the new, 4E Fleece.