65 Responses to 740 – White Smoke Mountain • 107

  1. Ah, the old “fate worse than death” punishment…now all the DM needs to do is make her lose her voice and go deaf too…

    Hellen Keller Versus the Polymorphed Halfling!

  2. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL……………………………………………………..
    Back when I played Hackmaster my buddy had a chaotic evil warlock-thief Drow covered in bandages so that “no one would know” he was a Drow. He fucked over the party at every turn and powered up like a true motherfucker. God I hated that bastard. I would have loved to have watched this happen to him:)

    • Random villager: “It’s…. a horrible, pointy-eared creature covered in dirty bandages, with red eyes that glow in the torchlight, and colorless hair! A creature that roams about at night and shuns the daylight, and wields demonic magics and wicked knives and kills without remorse. It had its black, rotting fingertips around my throat and threatened to eat my children! Help!”
      Random village sage: “It’s… a mummy! An elven mummy! An evil undead!”
      Random village tavern owner (retired adventurer): “KILL IT WITH FIRE!”
      Random village tavern owner’s wife (retired adventurer): “Here, let me cast this Sending scroll and call our old friend, Selina Sunbless the cleric.”
      Paladin (just passing by because his holy warhorse Fiendslayer is being reshod at the village blacksmith’s): “Did someone say undead?” (unsheathes his Holy Avenger +12 sword)
      (much later….)
      Random village merchant: “Maybe it was just a leper?”
      Cleric: “Lepers don’t explode when holy sunlight hits them!”

      ——–
      Really, if that guy’s character is an openly evil warlock/thief, being a drow too is the least of his problems.
      Edit: Wait, HackMaster has a warlock class now? And drow?

  3. I can see how Morty could forget such a trifle at this juncture. ^^ If bad stuff happens to Enkidu now as well, I wouldn’t mind.

    But why didn’t Morty patch up Fleece/Martin? Martin/Fleece? Is it okay to just call her Fleece? Less verbal confusion.

      • The short answer, in the manner you mean, is no. I have certainly seen weighted dice used at cons and such before, and I myself know a trick for rolling six-sided dice to land however I want them to, but to cheat in a home game? No. It wouldn’t really be smart anyway, because in a home game people are much more likely to notice suspicious dice rolling anyway.

        That said, we have a vote at the end of every game for the “best player”. (Could be best tactics, best role play, funniest… there are no rules on how to vote.) The winner of the vote gets a cheater die (no 1, two 20s) to use all night at the next session. It’s fun!

    • 2 weeks ago in session I DMed 2 of the players got fatalities, (2 natural 20s in a row followed by a high enough attack to beat AC = instant kill.) One of those 2 players also rolled 32 natural 20s out of 93 rolls… He was using the official WotC roller, and more than once during the session I got up and used his roller, it was working fine.

      I’m pretty sure he was cheating, (It’s possible with that roller to type into the results field, although I wouldn’t expect him to have been computer-savvy enough to notice.) Unfortunately I wasn’t sure how to accuse him without ruining a real life friendship. I got him to use a physical dice the next session and fudged a few enemy rolls against him almost killing off his character.

      Dear DM, (or anyone in the thread)

      How can you punish a cheating player without ruining a real life friendship? Especially if you can’t prove he was cheating.

      • Yeah… typically I don’t bother. As long as no one’s fun is being ruined I’m generally inclined to look the other way. If it becomes upsetting to others then you don’t actually have to say anything, the consensus will take care of it. In my view relationships always trump games. (Especially when it’s so easy for the DM to cheat right back.)

      • In my other secret identity I’m a computational scientist specializing in Monte Carlo methods (which use quasirandom number sequences). I can tell you that “random number generators” built into things like the WotC roller are not random at all. You give it input, it gives you output. It is possible to feed a generator an initializing seed that will result in a sequence of high rolls in a program like this. In fact, it’s simple to hack. In fact, I just did it myself. So my best advice is to not let anyone use the bloody thing.

        In the days before computers (yeah, I”m that old) I had a guy in a campaign I DMed who kept rolling 20s all the time and the rest of his party were getting very, very annoyed. So, I went out and bought tons of dice and told everyone that all rolls had to happen using “house dice” from then on. “Amazingly”, the problem was solved, and everyone was happy (except of course the person in question, but ya cant please everyone).

      • Establish “dice etiquette” for your table.

        For example, in my games it is only a valid die roll if it stays on the table and comes to rest on a level surface. Second, it is only valid if it was rolled on your turn (used to have a player who was notorious for rolling during other people’s turns – if he liked what he rolled, he would keep it until his turn came up, if not, he would wait for me to call his name and make his “real” roll).

        You could simply state that you don’t want dice rolling apps used at the table, because you don’t trust the apps (you don’t even have to say you don’t trust the player in this case – win/win).

  4. Mad Speculation time: Fleece is going to die. Martin gives a sigh of relief that it’s all over at least, and begins rolling up a new character… until he hears the GM laugh. And is presented with the next in the infinite line of Fleeces he has to play.

  5. Poor Fleece- the DM’s new punching bag. I hope she has another “twin” sister for when this one is all worn out. Maybe she has an evil twin brother that looks just like Martin, but elvish!

  6. Funny as it may be for comedic effect, the obvious `wrath of the angry DM` routine is a good way to watch your gaming party disband — take it from personal experience. Moisture ruining equipment might be a -2 skill check penalty, partial visual occlusion might be a further stacking -5 penalty, trap being under murky water might be a further stacking -4 penalty, but the trap being in a known position might give an offsetting +4 bonus; the result of the roll is the same, but at least the Rogue isn’t mutinous after the trip and fall.

    • Not exactly…this is a third, different tunnel…just because the OTHER water filled tunnel had a pit in a Known Location doesn’t mean THIS one does…

    • Given that Martin’s player probably loaded both the characters of Martin and Fleece with absurdedly overpowered magic tems with overpowered boni (and is the king of min-maxing), the penalties have to be similarly absurd . Also, for comedic effect. :mrgreen:

      Seriously, remember Gladiri’s lair and Martin handing a headband of intellect +7 to Enkidu? Even Enkidu remarked that normally they only go up to INT +6. You can bet that Martin grabbed even better stuff for himself and Fleece… although that was the other Fleece, but there’s been enough time since then to power up the new, 4E Fleece.