The Tuesday Videos: The Lena, Sarah, and Leia Edition

This first video is entirely for Lena’s benefit, who is a huge Mike Rowe fan. If you don’t know who Mike is, you may want to skip it, but if you do, it’s fascinating to see how far he’s come, and how little he’s changed in getting there.

I figured I’d wait until after the election to show this next video. It’s from the always down-to-earth folks at NMAWorldEdition, and documents the rise of the Tea Party at, as they see it, the expense of the Republicans. This is why you should never buy discout prognosticatory tools. Also included is a brief cautionary tale about choking your chicken (while daydreaming about Tea Party luminaries) with your mom around.

Hey! What’s with all this normal, non-geeky stuff? We can’t have that! The only possible response is to address the most important question in all of fandom… Star Trek, or Star Wars?

70 Responses to The Tuesday Videos: The Lena, Sarah, and Leia Edition

  1. Inevitably, the “Star Wars versus Star Trek” videos are written by the pro-star wars side, and portray the technologically inferior Empire as winning.

    Every piece of technology that exists in both universes is smaller/more versitile on the Trek side, and Trek side has a lot of tech the Wars side doesn’t – A clear demonstration of technical superiority. The ONLY thing Star Wars ships can do better is run away (except from the Borg, who use something similar to Hyperdrive for long distance travel), and they can’t use their superluminal engines in combat like the Trek side can.

    Sure, the Star Wars side has “The Force” – but that’s not so useful if you’re beamed directly into the brig while your weapons are kept in the transport buffer.

    Death Star = Big Honking target. All Trekships need to do is fly around to the side opposite the superlaser and just keep firing til the thing blows up. And no, each shot from the “little” turbolasers does NOT have more explosive force than 15,000 atomic bombs, no matter WHAT the warzies claim.

    • There are far more important points of comparison. Firstly, Star Wars has Nathalie Portman (yay) and Carrie Fisher (wtf) and that is pretty much it. Star Trek, on the other hand, is the gift that keeps on giving, from Zoe Saldanha to Nichel Nickels to do a grave injustice to a long and glorious list. I mention the latter, of course, because it reflects a real difference between the two. Star Trek kept pushing back social barriers, not least inter-racial relationships, while Star Wars is an essentially white hegemonic narrative dealing with a bland and very clear conflict between good and evil where good is embodied by clean cut, blonde, blue-eyed white men. Finally, there is simply the comparison between George “make another dollar” Lukas, who has been spewing out the same tedious crap his entire life and Gene Rodenberry, war hero, decorated cop, prolific writer, spiritualist and space corpse.

      But mostly it’s about the lovelies.

      Of course, none of this American nonsense can compare with the final two seasons of LEXX with the incomparable Xenia Seeberg as Xev. Ahhhhhhhh, Xenia…

            • I thought about searching for that site again but I figured someone else would do it sooner or later…

              As for this giant-space-penis/bug-eyes mishmash called Lexx, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Ship demands that you find a way to worship it.

              • *Darn, editing time has elapsed*

                Also, I’ve checked this Xenia girl you mentioned and while nice overall(if you like that type 🙄 ), I couldn’t help but notice her lips are rather large in most photos. As in huge. As in “OMG I’m having an allergic response to my make-up and I’m gonna die!”
                Or just the “I’ll never trust a cheap plastic surgeon again” kind.

                *Darn again, it’s supposed to be attached to my other post just below this*

            • Note that StarDestroyer.net is one of those Pro-Warz websites, where every OTHER sci fi is described as inferior to Star Warz. The weaknesses of Warz tech are either ignored or glossed over.

              • Oh, I’m sure you do the same on your own side of the “trekkie/warsie war.

                Meanwhile, Ship has created a whole planet populated with crazy and deadly monstrosities, has replayed history/the universe a few dozen(hundreds? thousands? it’s never revealed) times trying to get humans to be sensible(some things are beyond even a god 😛 ) and put a Mengele-like Jesus among you to do all kinds of cruel, immoral stuff to your cloned slaves.
                I mean, really, you’re bickering about your toy lasers and “phasers” while an omniscient, all-powerful being is changing the fabric of reality itself at a whim? Seriously, you know it’s not here to fuck around when you see those frickin’ Nerve Runners closing in on you! You might as well point those toys at your head and get a quick, clean death. 😯

                • I have a “side?” I just thought that I looked at the technology, came to the immediate conclusion that the Warztech was crap compared to Trektech, voiced my opinion, and was immediately branded as a fanatic trekkie who wears spock ears and plays with toy communicators…at which point I laughed and went back to watching Anime and Lexx/Babylon 5/Andromeda

                  • Those two franchises don’t have tech, they have magical plot-dependent technobabble, which is why I find such discussions hilarious. Though that’s more the problem with Trek and its highly versatile deflector dish(Apparently the Swiss Army runs the Federation’s shipyards).
                    From my understanding SW only suffers from wilder and wilder Force “1 up’s” and the ridiculous fight scenes that this results in.
                    They’re both too silly for me to fully enjoy(that is, the new trilogy sucks, yet again, but I can enjoy the originals quite well).

                    • Star Wars is alot like Dragonball Z.

                      Luke: And now I’ll power up to Super-Jedi 3!
                      Yoda: Over 9,000, his metaclorian count is!
                      ObiWan: What, 9000! There’s no way that can be right, can it?

                    • Lucas is such a dirty whore. 😡

                      But ST still sucks more in my eyes. Did they ever figure out they could just pummel the slow-moving Borg into history with some good ol’ kinetic weapons, or did that only last through one holodeck scene of one movie? Also, Data should’ve totally accepted her offer, screw the Federation, you can screw the creepy cyborg instead!
                      Yeah, that’s about the last movie I can recall watching in full(I think I watched a bit of another that came after it but I can’t be sure), but I can’t even recall its name ATM.

                  • [insert tongue firmly in cheek] Of course you have a side! You have shown yourself not be one of the Lucas Sheep.[/insert tongue firmly in cheek]

            • Without having gone through the other responses, I’ll note a serious technical flaw in that blog. It claims the Star Trek TOS world eater “fires ‘absolutely pure’ antiproton beams (even though this would cause the machine to suddenly gain a huge negative charge, thus drawing the beam back towards itself)”. While the mechanism for generating this huge negative charge is unexplained, the claimed consequences are false. Since an anti-proton has a negative charge; the beam would be repulsed by the device, not attracted to it.

              • No one said Warzies have any knowledge of physics whatsoever…in fact, thats kind of a pre-requisite for the title, or they would ask themselves: “If every shot from a “small” Turbolaser contains as much energy as 15,000 atomic bombs, where does all that energy go when the shot hits something? By the conservation of energy, it has to go SOMEWHERE, but we don’t see humungous explosions when one of those shots is absorbed by a deflector shield or hits an asteroid.”

      • Portman “yay”, Fisher “WTF”? Clearly you need some adjustment to your glasses. Unless you’re judging her by her current looks, which is very fair indeed.

    • “Inevitably, the “Star Wars versus Star Trek” videos are written by the pro-star wars side, and portray the technologically inferior Empire as winning.

      Every piece of technology that exists in both universes is smaller/more versitile on the Trek side, and Trek side has a lot of tech the Wars side doesn’t – A clear demonstration of technical superiority. (snip)

      Sure, the Star Wars side has “The Force” – but that’s not so useful if you’re beamed directly into the brig while your weapons are kept in the transport buffer.

      Death Star = Big Honking target. All Trekships need to do is fly around to the side opposite the superlaser and just keep firing til the thing blows up.”

      Elfguy beat me to it.

      Ships in Star Wars have almost no energy shields, compared with Federation ships. Ships in Star Wars shoot lasers. The Enterprise has photon torpedos. The Death Star is sloooow, with sucky maneuverability, and the Empire’s battleships are not much better in that regard. The Deathstar’s only real long-range weapon is the main planetbuster laser, and that is only useful if you want to shoot at big, unmovable (relatively speaking) targets like, you know, planets. Just beam some nuclear bombs onto the Deathstar and fly away.

      Sure, the Empire could throw hundreds of small TIE-Fighters at the Enterprise, but they’d not get through the Enterprise’s shields, while Worf can pick them off one by one. Not to mention, if the Empire side is allowed to sent multiple battlecruisers into this hypothetical combat, why does the Federation only get the Enterprise? Let’s bring in the Defiant and her sister ships, with Romulan cloaking devices.

      Some fans do not seem to grasp the concept that bigger is not always better, especially if you lack proper shields.

      As for the power of The Force… the Trekverse has psionic powers too, heck it has whole races of telepaths and shapeshifters and whatnot, not to mention the Q. And the power of Technobabble.

      • Oh man, that would be funny. Huge battle, Vader and the Emperor defeat Picard and have him in chains as we watch them destroy Earth out the window… then John de Lancie appears and turns the Sith couple into puppies and feeds them to a space-alligator.

      • I can’t resist. I want to play, too! 😛

        “Ships in Star Wars shoot lasers.”

        What laser do you know of that is visible from the side in the vacuum of space? That can be seen traveling at less than the speed of light?

        True lasers travel at the speed of light, and would not be visible unless it was pointed directly at your retina (the light only moves in one direction, unless it is scattered by particles in the atmosphere, which would not be present in deep space). So lasers should never be visible on screen. Clearly, the term “turbo-lasers” in Star Wars is some kind of misnomer, probably a holdover from a previous level of technology (much like when someone refers to a “phaser rifle” in Star Trek).

        Ok, ok, I’ll stop. lol

    • The Star Wars vs. Star Trek arguments never cease to make me laugh.

      That people would get so worked up over the hypothetical meeting of two fictional universes is one of the most amusing phenomena in all of fandom.

      This from a guy who didn’t even blink when a player asked to be a Vulcan in his Star Wars D6 game.

      • Well half the fun is seeing what ridiculous lengths the “warzie” side will go to try to convince people that lumbering, wallowing cruisers that can’t even avoid running into each other when a ship they’re chasing flies between them could defeat a fleet of warp-driven starships.

        They even go so far as to come up with “rules” for the imaginary battles that overwhelmingly favor the Star Wars side. for example:

        Star Wars goons can use any information from any source, unless George Lucas himself, personally, says it’s not so, including comic books where Warz ships can literally land on STARS, and “tech manuals” that list weapon powers for the “small” turbolasers that exceed that of 15,000 atomic bombs. It’s almost to the point where if some hack wrote a short story that claimed Wookies could fart antimatter at will, they’d use THAT.

        Star Trek side can’t use anything that didn’t appear on screen. And it has to be Live Action, no Animated series (despite the fact that the animated series was written and directed by Gene Roddenberry, and starred all the original actors except Walter Keoenig.)

        Pull the other one. It’s got bells on.

  2. Were I into drugs I would be immensely interested in whatever substance those Taiwanese(?) “news” site operators are using for inspiration.

    And somehow I’m not convinced that “novelty” bag is really my style, despite Mike’s best(?) efforts. I’m just not that into purple cows. Or hippos.

    • The question is…do they LIKE the Tea Party, or hate it? While they seem to regularly portray Americans as machine-gun toting psychopaths (They’ve probably watched too many Ahnold movies) they do appear to have accurately predicted the “Tea Party Express” steamrollering over the Democrats in Congress… (You did say this came out Before the election, right Kevin?)

  3. Hey, its not that hard to figure out. One side can tell how many people are on your ship, what race, age, and even if there is someone pregnant just by scanning it. The other had to think for a bit before they looked out a window and said “that’s no moon.”

    In the end, I don’t care how cool you think choking a man out with your mind is. All I know is it would take Data about 3 minutes to quantify the Force into an algorithm and send it back through the main deflector dish. You know… like he always did.

    Teleportation wins over Gungans any day.

    I’d be less bitter if force unleashed 2 didnt continue the brutal and horrific rape of an intellectual property thats seen more banging on its back door than the Houston 500. Fuck you Lucas! Fuck you!

  4. I’m a neither a big fan of either SW or ST but Ill say this,

    Starkiller would pwn both armies simultaneously =D

    (note I haven’t played starwars unleashed 2 yet but I enjoyed SWU1 far more on the Wii then the PC so I’m still trying to decide on which version for 2)

    have you folks met Snowball?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNAAZ5Nt6pk

  5. Setting aside all the pesky scientific inaccuracies (such as that explosions don’t go “boom!” in a vacuum), it seems pretty obvious that while the Empire kicks butt in their own universe, the Federation would make short work of them.

    • Well explosions go “boom” in Sci Fi because having them be silent, while more scientifically accurate, is less dramatic.

        • Yep, and same as silent screams. Now if BSG only had that nice “instruments noise”(the “DRADIS”?) while doing cockpit shots with the subdued gun-fire(which reverberates through the frame, not through the vacuum) I think it would’ve had even better space battles…But then I’d have to apply “no banking in space” etc too.
          It also annoys me to see engines constantly running at full force with big thruster flames when they’re either hovering in place or already matched velocities with some other object.

          When O when will we advance enough to shoot space battles in SPACE and be done with such farces?

            • Luckily for BSG, I didn’t really watch it all that much for the space fights but rather for Olmos crying over dead Starbuck and Gaius’ crazy(and sexy) antics.
              An exception to that would be epic fights like during the evacuation of New Caprica, but even that is half made up of the characters themselves and not the ships(OK, Galactica free-falling was awesome, beat that, Shit-Trek and Star Whores!).

  6. 1. Mike Rowe is the definition of cool chap! :mrgreen:

    2. Makes a lot of sense in a twisted way and probably all too true… 🙄

    3. Of the two, i prefer the star wars universe myself, though i have never given the tech in either of them much though. Isn’t all supposed to be science fiction?

    Oh, and i’ll be gm-ing Star Wars D6 tomorrow at the local rpg club. 😀

    • Hooray for Star Wars D6!

      I’m running Star Wars D6 for Kevin and the rest of our Thursday night game group currently (taking a break from D&D). It’s been a hoot!

  7. I give up trying to predict youse guys.

    Really.

    All this argument over whose fictional tech is better, pointing out that neither noise nor scattered light would be perceptible in vacuum, hauling in ADDITIONAL fictional universes …

    And to my surprise NOBODY pointed out the fact that both lions on the stuffed Ark are male.

    Huh. I’m glad I didn’t have money on my guess as to what would set you all off.

      • More like I’ve left it behind. I was glued to a b&w TV when “Man Trap” first aired and in grad school when “A New Hope” dawned, and felt the same joy at both. I am willing to agree with valid points and let those off-base be wrong, since whether the Borg or the Empire or the Dominion are the greatest threat will not affect the taxes I am forced to pay nor the value of the money I am generously allowed to retain.

        I will say that “Enterprise” proved the same thing that “Episodes I – III” did, prequels are a bad idea, unless written by people that give a damn about the existing continuity and are creative enough to work within it. And if you disagree, more power to you, I don’t care. Die Gedanken Sind Frei.

  8. What kills me is that everyone says that the Empire rules in Star Wars, but they never mention the one thing that deflates every argument:
    Their colossal, bad-ass, world-breaking super weapon ( the one that supposedly makes an aircraft carrier look like a Honda Accord) got destroyed TWICE by a ragtag army. Once by a potato in the tailpipe by a guy in the equivalent of a beat-up ’73 Chevy Nova and the second time it was the equivalent of a hopped-up Ford LTD that kept dropping parts off of it.

    The Federation faced down and defeated a numerically overwhelming and technologically superior hoard in the Borg and again in the Dominion (if you are willing to admit that DS9 was actually part of the Star Trek Universe.

    The real question ya gotta ask is would Vader be able to beat Kirk. We know that Data would stomp all over Threepio, but I think Artoo might stand a chance. He is one sneaky and tenacious little blue trash can.

  9. The News today has been completely full of the TSA Gropefest at American Airports.

    Seems to me like the job of TSA agent will soon attract every single pervert, pedophile, and sleaseball on the planet. Given the massive manpower they’ve hired, their argument that an El-Al style interview process would be too expensive is becoming less and less plausible.

    Some are planning a Scanner Boycott tomorrow…I think it would be more effective (and infinitely more amusing) if everyone who was going to fly on a certain day chowed down on a lot of Chili the night before and eat a large breakfast of shredded wheat or other high-fiber foods, and then wait until a TSA agent is JUST about to check out the caboose to cut loose, acting out this routine: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMX8L7Yxyfk (RIP Mister Carlin, the world is a less funny place without you!)

      • Or at least with one of those skin-colored bodysuits. I’d love to see those PETA whor…err, ladies do one of their little protests about it. They can do rehearsals at my place, free of charge.