The Tuesday Videos: Fear Of… Edition

To begin today, bringing with him the fear of god, the Spirit of Truth reminds us that Jesus is the path to peace, you fuckin’ nin-fuckin’-poop.

Next, just a bit late for Halloween, comes the creepiest goddamn toy I have personally ever seen. Those kids’ heads whipping around at the beginning of the commercial? That’s fear folks. That’s fear.

Afraid of getting older? Lewis CK isn’t going to help. I picked this because I have had an almost identical experience at the doctor’s office, even down to the ankle. It made me laugh at the time, now it’s just hysterical.

19 Responses to The Tuesday Videos: Fear Of… Edition

  1. okay….

    Number one: I don’t even know where to begin. What the hell is up with his hair?????? Gap-toothed, fugly bigot. No more to say.

    Number two: They had some creeeeeeeeeepy shit in the 60’s

    Number three: Been there. Ten years earlier than him apparently.

  2. OMG! Is that seriously a preacher? I thought it was some really drunk/stoned/strung-out guy going on a rant and trying to be all Jesus-y and gangsta at the same time! I think his camera man was drunk/trippin too the way he was wobbling around and doing wierd zooms and stuff. Is it wrong to want to kick the crap out of him and laugh at the same time?
    That doll IS totally creepy. Even creepier was a video of someone who has an actual original doll- with the original dying power pack. The laugh was pitched a couple octaves lower and sounded insane and demonic, plus it was kinda dirty and was just evil looking.
    Lewis CK- hilarious because it’s sooooo true. I gotta share that with my friends!

  3. I had seen the second video before, but… yeah, this is what I imagine an Uncontrollable Hideous Laughter spell sounds like. Seriously, no-one but the Joker could love that doll. Not only is the face creepy (eyes rolled back, mouth twisted over the teeth in a way no normal person could do), the thing rocks back and forth and keeps on laughing and laughing like a gremlin. All things that our subconscious equates with hysteria, not with amusement (or with demonic possession, take your pick). The little girls’ heads whipping around, wide-eyed…. and then everyone sharing in that hysterical laughter, with the voice-over guy sounding more and more deranged… seriously, that’s like the trailer to a Chucky The Killer-Doll movie.

    The third one was hilarious.

    • Couldn’t have said it better about the creepy doll laughter. I also immediately thought about Chucky. Gods, and I thought the barely-audible evil mutterings and ghoul shrieks in the dark Dunwich Building in Fallout 3 were creepy.

      #1, so that’s where Jules went after retiring! 😆

      #3 was hilarious.

  4. He comes in the name of the lord, muthafuckas.

    I couldn’t watch more than a minute. He reminded me of Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction, only more douche-y.

  5. Hey hey you da Devil motherfuckas, you da devil, and I goin to Heeven, bitches.
    I thought the best part was the camera editing though, he is flying around, just hysterical.

    2. creepy

    3. Haha your old! I’m going to go enjoy my miracles of medical science now.

  6. 1…… yeah…. wow…. I’m always amazed God allows people like that to exist, let alone speak for him…

    2, not the creepiest toy I’ve seen, but fairly high on the list.

    3, funny and way too true. ‘Just take 10 a day’ ‘Won’t that….. really screw up my digestive system?’ ‘Well sure, if you take them for a long time…. but looking at these results, you’re not going to need to worry about any long term effects’.

    • Even God needs a good laugh once in a while.

      But not from the evil rocking laughing doll…

      It’s the whackaloons I think the creator, assuming such a being exists, finds most amusing. Keeps humanity from taking itself too seriously.