41 Responses to 732 – White Smoke Mountain • 99

  1. Is this strip all about Lena’s post from yesterday about wanting a good weight-loss program? Because I’m not convinced that’s the best way to go about it.

      • Plus, you know someone’s REALLY determined if they cut off their penis for you. You’ve also only got one penis as opposed to two hands and eyes.
        Though it does seem a bit unfair for the evil, megalomaniac womenfolk.

        • This is supposed to be your line, but then you just made the comment that begs it as a response in the first place I guess. Anyway, right the one word response that’s normally Orald’s responsibility:
          Futanari.

          • If there’s one thing I really don’t care for is using Japanese words to describe stuff you can already do with your own language. That’s Japanophilia, and there should damn well be a treatment for it already.

            Also, my understanding was that in order for the hand/eye to function properly you’d have to attach them to where the same organ was attached to, so sticking the hand, say, the middle of your back(so you could scratch that one spot that always escapes you)won’t help, neither would sticking that human eye in a squid’s head, and by extension, sticking a penis on a woman won’t do it.
            You need to have had the organ, lost it and replaced it with the cursed/magical version.

            • Dude, I’m not a weeaboo. I was trying to use the closest appropriate word: Dickgirl means someone who seems like a girl… but has a dick. Hermaphrodites do not have both sets fully functional. I wasn’t aware of an English word that was as close to the notion of a chick cutting off her clit and putting on The Dick of Kevin’s Evil Essence.

      • See, there’s a problem with that choice: It’s just so easy to piss it all away if you do that.

  2. Either this is Martin having a twisted fantasy, or… he is well and truly screwed.

    Incidentally, who else noticed Erias’ newspaper is warning people that the Drow army is mobilizing? Seems Tammy finally stopped humping Arabax long enough to get with the program…

  3. heh erias on the “throne”………classic. at my table we are playing two different games. one good one evil. the scenario is the good guys are going to take on the bad guys at a later date and its all about ressurecting (or not ) a dead god.the essence of the god is contained in 5 artifacts. the good guys so far have 3 of them and plan to destroy them. the bad guys so far have none (but they will get the other 2 eventually which they plan to use).if successful and the bad guys win the world will be destroyed. if the good guys win yadda yadda yadda…the great thing about this is the players are going to play both sides in the confrontation. they are going to make all their own actions and play to win. ill let yall know who wins .this is gonna be fun…

    • “Good” guys only want to lengthen the suffering of a diseased and suffering universe in the name of “sanctity of life” etc, while the so-called “bad” guys just want to end its pain and let it rest forever in peace. I’m all for mercy killings. My definition of “mercy” just happens to rest a little to the side of most other people’s. Somewhere on the other side. 🙂

      • I keep telling you that if you want me to come kill you that the travel costs are included in my price as a hitman. So stop begging already!

    • The question is, what about all the source material&updates? Half the point of something like the WoTC CB is the easily accessible and selectable feats and such, and calculating all the bonuses is just the other half.
      Does it get patches and updates of those? Would seem WoTC wouldn’t want some other program to benefit from their updates(which is their whole “making money” scheme, put out another bit of updates every month for you to pay for).

      • Everyone has to make a living somehow, and why settle for mere buckets of cash when you can have freight containers instead. 🙄

      • You’re asking the wrong guy, I just read lists of OSS projects while looking for things I actually want to contribute to. If I had to guess I’d imagine someone updates the data since it is a fairly popular package with a long-ish development history. The time-lines and copyright issues involved in that is not something I’m familiar with since I just don’t give enough of a fig to give this more than a once-over browse of the specs, code and requirements.

        You’re missing the good reason I linked this though: It does 3.0 and 3.5 for everybody who’s whining about that.

  4. So, Martin got the hand and eye of Vecna and the Sword of Kaz in strip #95, and a completely new outfit in #98… he should have become a DM-NPC right about… now. 😈

    Technically, Martin should have had to put off his own hand and gauge out his own ey, in all gory glory, complete with Willpower checks and Constitution check, but the player was too much of a pussy and skipped that part. But that means the hand and eye of a warlock are lying around in the crab room now. Too bad D&D has no sympathetic magic, like i.e. Shadowrun, or Martin could be controlled remotely if some enemy got hold of his dead meat parts. Of course, there’s still the option of using hand and eye as components for clone spells, so that Martin can get killed by his own clones, for maximum dramatic irony.

  5. By the way, where’s the search function? Every time I wanna refer someone to a particular strip I have to kind of randomly poke around til I find what I’m looking for…For example, If I want to show someone Martin’s “what I wrote on the back of Fleece’s character sheet” bit, it could take hours to locate the strip…