The Tuesday Videos: Incredible McNuggets Edition

Our first video takes us on safari into the heart of darkness… McDonald’s. The dangers of being a customer at McDonald’s and actually eating the food are fairly well established, but as we see here, that is not where the peril stops. Observe the hapless employee, as she tells the wild beast right outside the window that she’ll have to wait 7 minutes more for her McNuggets.

This next vid is for everyone who has ever wanted to write a moving story with beautiful characters in a richly deep world… all of which happened to already belong to someone else. Think it’s impossible? Well this next clip is here to show you that nothing is impossible… for the Incredible Halka.

Back when Hollywood was giving us Sinbad and a bunch of sweaty sailors dancing with skeletons, Fritz Lang was dishing this up in Germany. See which you like better.

35 Responses to The Tuesday Videos: Incredible McNuggets Edition

  1. First video: Seen it before, but like the improved soundtrack. I do have to admire how the next guy in line got his food right away.

    Second video: There was a tank doing a side-wheelie. Nuff Said

    Third video: I truly love Harryhausen, Fritz Lang was a frakking genius — end of story. Hollywood could not have really complained about the outfit; he belly button was covered. Where did they get all those German-speaking Indian men?

  2. I love the sound of German. Having no understanding of that language though, I didn’t get what they were saying, but here’s my guess:
    Old man: We’ve gathered here today to watch the union of two…oh, sorry, wrong speech. Enjoy the strip show, folks!
    Woman: Oh my, what a huge, throbbing, long, thick snake! I must slip out of my dress to reveal my glittering bikini to appease it, and possibly blind it with all the glitter. I hope it doesn’t spit its sticky venom all over me!
    Everyone: Damn I’m glad I’m wearing these baggy pants, I’ve got a serious boner!
    Hero guy: *Smashes snake’s head, it stops moving immediately and doesn’t thrash about at all for some reason*
    Old man: How dare you smack my giant snake?! And we were just getting to the good part too!
    Hero guy: C’mon, man, you’re just gonna let the snake kill her? She’s, like, the only good looking woman in the whole damn movie!
    *Hope you’ve enjoyed my little bit of translation*

    The dangers of customer service…If that were my old job they’d sue me for pulling the woman’s hair and endangering her fingers when closing the window. And I’d have to pay for the window, of course.

    The only positive thing about the whole Halka thing is the woman in the green dress.

    Here’s Reservoir Dogs…With sock puppets! In a Scottish accent!

  3. Nice selection this week.
    Vid one- “My happy meal didn’t have the free prozac dispenser, damn it! GIMME NOW!” … LOL
    Vid two- Is there any cool-ass American stuff that people in other countries won’t steal or rip off? I mean, come on… the Hulk? Out of a billion or so people in India, nobody has anything more original than that? Still, it was cute in a 1990 sort of way.
    Vid three- Yowsa! I LOVE it! That was really cool. When she whipped off the robe, I was expecting less sparkly bits (you know how those Europeans love topless women!), but impressive nontheless. The howdy-doody snake was a great addition. Was that Yul Brenner giving the speech? Bravo.

    • Yeah, you know how those Germans are…It’s a wonder they didn’t whip out a whip and leather cloths.

      I have to wonder though, after doing everything so gracefully and grovelling on ground right in front of it with no difficulty, why is it that when she’s up again and relatively far away from the snake and doing a simple routine that she’s suddenly so afraid she loses her balance? I mean, that’s like feeling hot only after the sun comes down.

  4. Kevin, have you seen the Temple of Doom vid before? The big stone statue at the start reminded me of so many of your strips!

  5. Holy hell… I mean I know they lace their food with crack but that is outrageous. Gotta love the irony of it all when the next guy pulls up and service goes back to its’ thing.

    I love the old movies. She is freaking hot, where can I get that outfit? Finally I have a halloween costume for my girl.

  6. Video 1 is one of the reasons I don’t work at McDonalds anymore. The other part is an hour commute for a mininium wage job. Unfortunatly, when I go back home from college I’ll be back at McDonalds. 😥

  7. Ah, it’s finally here, the happiest day of the year(no, not Fallout: New Vegas, it’ll still take a few more days for a good torrent to form)! Can you guess what it is? Yes, it’s the eve of Yitzhak Rabin’s Festival! Hooray!
    It starts in earnest today and continues on for all of tomorrow, with some more festivities lasting for at least a week! Oh, the joy!

    Happy Yitzhak Rabin Festival, everyone! And don’t forget to stone, stab, shoot and bomb those pesky Jews! :mrgreen:

  8. A fine figure of a women, that Debra Paget. I really like Fritz Langs movies and one you shouldn’t miss, Kevin, is “M”. I came to think of that in one of your latest entries when you had the insight about doing exactly what you found stupid in others. The ending of the movie is really good and worthy of thought. Recommended.

      • I do believe I recommended “M” about 3 weeks ago, but nobody listens to me… (Said in a Faux Peter Lorre voice)

        As for the dancing girl in this one…is anyone else wondering how her costume stays on?

        On video 1: Remember this loser? – McDonalds seems to get more than it’s share of truly stupid customers. They break the window cause they don’t want to wait for food, they call 911 because the store is out of McNuggets, they sue because they didn’t realise that coffee is HOT…

  9. Among the videos offered after the “Halka” video, the “Banglar King Kong” one is even more weird, on the level of Ed Wood competence. You’re never sure if is this a parody or not, when scenes with dramatic music and song-and-dance numbers segue into each other.

  10. I found the dancing man, he’s called Bhangraman. Couldn’t post the link because the filter got it because I apparently posted to many of them.