43 Responses to 708 – White Smoke Mountain • 75

        • Damn, you just ruined my chance to accuse and denounce you as an antisemitic racist.
          Party pooper! 🙁

          Just like The Tudors decided to show even more skin than before with Tamzin Merchant(Queen Catherine Howard), wrecking me with indecision on whether to further denounce the show or just shut up and gaze at the cute glory that is Tamzin.
          Also, the actress playing Princess Elizabeth looks remarkably like my younger sister.

          • I suspect Orald dislikes Ol’ Henry then as he will have the charming lady beheaded at some point…

            • Err…You must have missed my other comment from a few days ago, confessing to really anticipating mostly the part where she’s accused and beheaded. 😈
              I’m sure it’ll raise a great laughter in me…or was it “crying” the overly-dramatic scriptwriters were trying to invoke with all the previous executions? I might have missed their point, I admit.
              I usually dislike him more when he’s trying to pull off some cheap “heartwarming” moment, and tend to forgive him when he starts raving about traitors, crushing and his sovereignty.

              Mind you, I, Claudius had MUCH better acting and script, even if it was somewhat “theatrical”(as opposed to more “natural” acting), and there wasn’t any of this nonsense about keeping the lead character 20 years younger and 100 lb. slimmer so they could have hot sex scenes instead of actual plot.
              Well, that’s what you get with American TV as opposed to British. Tsk tsk.

  1. Yeah, I think that was the effect he was seeking.

    “Hee, hee, hee. What a hammerhead.” —Tippy Turtle 😛

  2. I just like the fact that it’s a claw hammer, not some overweight block of dwarven hammer +alot ala Warcraft style or even fancyish D&D style…

    Claw Hammer FTW!

          • That and the closely related Bec De Corbin. Though in essence they’re almost identical to your average hammer, topped with a spike for the extra and obvious spear-like thrusting.
            All those fantasy and gaming hammers are basically huge, over-sized, unbalanced mallets that no man could possibly fight effectively with(they’d be just too slow and unbalancing for the wielder, who’d need a lot of time recovering from failed attacks). They are needlessly big and heavy when the whole point was to concentrate the strike on a relatively narrow yet robust spike to PIERCE armor, not to crush it(which is just dumb anyway, and needs so much more force for no real gain).
            But because they might look more impressive(read: bigger=better=compensating for something) they’re chosen instead of the rather frail looking, yet undoubtedly deadly effective, real war-hammers.

            That reminds me, are there any esoteric D&D rules regarding more realistic warfare regarding armor types and the weapons actually suitable for use against them? A sword is a nice thing but against things like full plate mail war-axes and war-hammers begin to truly shine, yet they still stick your average fighter with a sword against such armored enemies.
            There’s(or there was? I don’t remember if 4th edition kept that) the whole slash-blunt-pierce thing with different kinds of enemies(or specific defensive enchantments at least), blunt vs. the undead, for example, but I don’t think there’s any mention of a sword being mediocre against good armors or bonuses for “blunt” weapons(though a war-hammer is more apt to “pierce”) against those.

              • I know, I know, and any accurate combat system would probably be really annoying to play anyway(what with “you get hit…you die painfully, screaming while trying to hold your shredded bowels inside your body, to no avail”…then again it’s a great source of amusement to the imaginative and descriptive DM), but I thought, if they bothered making this whole “undead are better damaged by blunt weapons”, and there was this distinction between light/medium/heavy armors maybe someone cared enough to pay attention to that as well.

                You’d think the people who (in)famously made grappling rules so intricate they are constantly lampshaded anywhere that mentions D&D(and I must admit I’ve never actually read said rules myself, and didn’t bother to see their 4e incarnation) might’ve thought of caring about that.
                You could always make some house rules about it though.

                • I liked 3rd Edition’s approach to different weapon damage types vs. different creatures’ Damage Reduction, which is what you’re referring to. It had nothing to do, however, with light/medium/heavy armor categories.

                  Damage Reduction basically said that a monster took X less damage from any attack that was not of a specified type, for example, a werewolf’s stats might say: DR 15/silver – which means that any attack that hits the werewolf does 15 HP less damage than normal, unless the source of the damage is silver. Skeletons have DR 5/blunt. Not all monsters have DR.

                  Armor types helped to explain away legacy class restrictions on armor. Basically, each class specified what armor type (light/medium/heavy) you were proficient with (penalties applied for wearing armor with which you were not proficient). Rogues could now wear full plate (heavy armor) if they wanted to, for example, but there would be penalties (above those already associated with full plate) for doing so without the proper training (which could be had if you were willing to spend a valuable Feat slot for Heavy Armor Proficiency).

                  I have heard of alternate rules (maybe someone’s house rules, I’m not sure) that gave different armors a DR value instead of an AC bonus.

                  Oh, and as for grappling rules, 4e went the complete opposite direction with grappling than 3rd. Grappling in 4e is extremely easy, but also a lot less devastating to the grappled party than in 3e.

                  • I knew about the DR system, and I knew what the armor classification was used for, which is why I asked why no one thought of including said DR system like the house rules you mentioned, which I suppose are exactly what I was talking about(without the dropping of the AC as well, but I can see why they’d drop it).

                    • A slight derailment..

                      I came across an alternative system in a module called “Ivanhoe” (published in the late 80’s i believe) where the damage codes (here: type of die) of the weapon used got modified by the type of armor the target wore.
                      I recall f.i that a stilletto was very efficient against chainmail. Which makes sense when you consider that from the stillettos point of view a chainmail is a serie of loosly connected holes..

                      Now, i know i have this module somewhere in my rpg collection, but finding it?
                      No dice… 😕

                      Okay, de-railment over and back to our regular show.

                    • That’s actually not a derailment because that’s exactly what I was wondering about- if any published rules like that existed.

  3. I think Morty shold just carry a bucket of wax around with him.

    When the incessive babbling of Overwhelmed makes him snap, he should just ram the damn thing in the bucket and let the wax seal the piehole on the damn thing.
    When the hammer is used the wax will most likely be removed, so unless it shuts up, just repeat cycle.

    Consider this my version of D&D “plug and play”. 😛

  4. Not sure if it’s actually called “ergotism” though…Ergot mold poisoning (which is caused by a mold that gets into Rye) is caused by trace amounts of Lysergic Acid Dythilemide (Study into why ergot poisoning caused halucinations resulted into the artificial method of creating it) in the mold.

  5. This reminds me of a story whereupon a party of adventurers stumble upon an intelligent (I believe it was a) dancing longsword. The ranger – who everyeone hated with a passion takes it for himself. He talks to it and direct dislike occurs. The ranger exclaims:
    – Great! The first intelligent weapon we discover and it hates me.
    The dwarf: That’s how we know it’s intelligent.

  6. I didnt get a chance to put in a comment last post and I wanted to say this

    I currently work a Vons, a grocery store, I been working here for nearly 10 years and as a employee whos job is to clean the bathroom twice a hour I can safely say,

    women’s bathrooms are indeed the filthiest by far

    Trash never goes in the trashbin, half the time its wet trash and the sink is usually covered in all sorts of unmentionables, I see bloody tubes at least bi-daily on the floor. Several times there was shit on the walls and floor, they flipping RUBBED it EVERYWHERE. and one time someone shit on the floor right outside the fucking door, if there’s ANYTHING thats clean in the bathroom its usally only the toilet is at least usually flushed and stays flushed, unless its clogged with random clothes and papers… yes CLOTHES.

    the mens bathroom on the other hand doesn’t get too dirty, but there’s one thing that only happens in mens bathrooms. GRAFFITI. Always ALWAYS its the mens bathrooms poorly drawn breasts, penises, vulgar words, racist derogatory and politically incorrect comments everywhere, often misspelled, gang symbols in pen, spray paint, etched into the walls and mirrors. One time I found a nazi symbol cept the moron was too stupid to turn it at a angle so it was just a peace symbol.

    summery, women only are neat when its their house. and young men are dumbasses.

    PS if Lena still doesn’t believe me Ill take pictures and prove it