Sharia Law is the holy path set down by god through the Qur’an and through the actions of Muhammad. It is the word of god.
The god in question is the same god worshipped by the Jews and the Christians. The old testament is pretty much the same in all three, it is only what comes next where things begin to diverge. This is where things get interesting to me since all three claim to know the irrefutable mind of god, and also to know that the others are all wrong. All three also claim that their god is the god of peace and love and that the others’ gods are strange, wicked, and probably not at all nice.
According to the Jewish faith you may be slain for pressing a button (not a shirt button, but a doorbell or garage door opener would qualify) on a Saturday. Devout Christians believe that you should stone to death anyone who eats shrimp, and several factions of Islam are now killing people who watch the World Cup.
In Somalia al-Shabab, Hizbul-Islam, and Juba Valley rebel militias have been arresting and shooting soccer fans for watching the games on TV. Sheikh Mohamed Abdi Aros, speaking for Hizbul-Islam, said, “We are warning all the youth of Somalia not to dare watch these World Cup matches. It is a waste of money and time and they will not benefit anything or get any experience by watching mad men jumping up and down”. The inference I’m taking away is that it is better to be shot in the head than to fuck off for a while.
For now the anti-football message seems limited to Somalia, but they hardly have a monopoly on stupid young men with guns. If we are to figure out the answer to this problem, we must take a closer look at a typical Islamist thug, and you can’t get much more stereotypical than the Taliban.
The average talib is a young man, recruited in a mosque and trained in a terrorist (or freedom fighter, depending on which side of the line you live on) camp. He owns a vintage Russian rifle, is super-excited to use it, and mostly has no one to shoot at other than the neighbors he grew up with. He’s horny, owing to his religion, typically has a voracious appetite for western porn, and occasionally has sex with sheep, donkeys, and cattle. (Spy photography in Afghanistan can be really disturbing.) If he is shot in the line of duty it is 20% likely to have been by someone on his own side, and if he becomes a suicide bomber he is 50% likely to kill no one other than himself. In general, he hates everything a Baptist would hate, and loves secretly everything a Baptist would love secretly. They’re really kinda soul mates.
And that’s really the problem, isn’t it? On the one hand it’s amusing to point to these “opposing” groups and highlight all their extreme similarities. On the other, the thought that they might one day wake up and join forces against normal people everywhere is a bit terrifying. My hope in the event this happens is that the Baptists will go to the Afghan “little terrorist” training camps to learn the craft and blow themselves up too.
I wasn’t watching the soccer game anyway.