The Thursday Blog: A Cop Story

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before…

This guy gets pulled over for a “traffic violation.” While talking to him, the officer spots a meth pipe in the dude’s car, and decides to search it, also turning up an amount of the drug. While chatting with the arresting officer on his way to the station, Meth Dude somehow gets to talking about how much he knows about building and setting bombs. (This conversation makes me think that the traffic violation was probably something like trying to drive his El Dorado into a liquor store or something equally cranktacular.)

With this set-up, our guy — now in the police station — receives a more thorough personal search, whereupon the police discover an on/off switch in his pocket, connected to a wire leading into our guy’s pants. When asked, Mr. Meth answers that it is part of a sex toy, the other end of which is up his butt.

The building evacuates.

While Meth-bomb Butt sits and waits, (presumably entertaining himself) the police send for the explosives squad to perform a bomb… extraction. They show up and retrieve the vibrating bulb from our man’s posterior, flip it on and off a few times, and announce that the day is saved. Everyone returns to work, and our guy, Mr. Scarierre, (also known as Steven Ferrini) goes happily to jail, where other inmates ask to see his now-famous butt.

To make the story even more fun, the police in question were the well-known California Highway Patrol, or “CHiPs”. Read the story again, but everywhere you see “police, officer”, or “extraction”, imagine Eric Estrada.

18 Responses to The Thursday Blog: A Cop Story

  1. that is one messed up guy.
    i take it that the update schedule has been scaled back a tad but the extra goodies continue unabated.
    also, while i like this comic a lot, i must say that it has gone in a rather… risque direction of late

    • You are still getting 3 comics a week, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, as you have been for quite a while. There are now two blogs instead of three, but since we’ve moved them to Tuesday and Thursday, you’re now getting something new 5 days a week instead of just 3!

      And yeah. Mr. Ferrini definitely has some issues to work out.

  2. Haha, nice to know that the regular messed up joes are still about causing havoc.

    Have you listened to WT0P 103.5 they have something called “knuckle heads in the news”, one story involved a man robbing a store and proceeding to leave both his keys and wallet with full identification on the counter.

    • I have not listened to “Knuckleheads” before, but I have heard that story. I want to know why the guy had his keys and wallet out to begin with.

      • Not sure if it is same guy, but that happened at Bud’s (a convenience store/gas station) here in Decatur AL around 12 years ago. He fled on foot and went to nearby friends house and started banging on the door. Being the middle of the night his friend called the police because some fool was banging on his door. Now, unofficially, I have heard he was getting oral gratification from the girl working at the station and some disagreement over payment came up (he felt he was overcharged…or maybe that she had underperformed) and grabbed a ‘refund’ from the register before running out.

  3. With all they went through to err on the side of safety I’m surprised they flipped the toy on and off instead of prying it open or something.

      • They evacuated the building because of a vibrating buttplug? *headdesk* Seriously, they really thought he was smuggling a bomb in his pants, or something? What’s wrong with people in America these days? What’s up with all this hysteria about bombs since 9/11?

        I still remember reading that story about the young college-age woman who was arrested in an airport where she was waiting for someone because someone had seen colored “wires” connected to her backpack and everyone was too busy pissing themselves in fear to simply walk up to her and ask. (If I remember correctly the wires were part of a grunge cyberpunk-style art piece or something.)

        And there was that incident in 2007 in Boston, when police mistook some Aqua Teen Hunger Force promotional electronic Lite-Bright placards (with blocky cartoon characters traced out in glowing LEDs) for improvised bombs. Because they were located in “high traffic/high visibility areas”. And had “circuit boards” and “batteries”, you know. 🙄 So instead of simply checking, Boston’s Finest went ballistic and called the bomb squad, stopped all traffic and…. oh well someone collected the story here:
        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2007_Boston_bomb_scare
        And then just one month later Boston police blew up an electronic traffic counter, just to make sure it would never menace anyone again. What heroes.

        Things weren’t like this in the 1990s.
        And they aren’t like this here in Germany… or maybe they are and I missed it. In that case, please tell me. Thankfully, German cops don’t go around tasering people… yet. Although, if German police had had tasers and sonic cannons and microwave “crowd-control” weapons during the RAF terrorism wave in the 1970s, they’d probably had used them on protesting students in addition to the water cannons and tear gas. Whole books were written about how the conservative government of that time really profited from the RAF’s existance. ’nuff said.

        I’m waiting daily for read about someone with Tourette Syndrome being tasered and arrested because some public scurity camera software designed to find “suspicious behaviour of individuals in crowds” singled him out because of his nervous ticks.
        Next week on Monk: Monk gets arrested as a suspected terrorist because he was touching the top of all parking meters along the street?

        • I had an (American) friend who had Tourettes, someone beat her up…

          So guess what happened when the cops showed up….

        • Making people scared is an effective way to get elected here in America. (Though I imagine we are not unique in this regard.) 9-11 was bad, but it was a drop in the bucket compared to what politicians did with it to profit themselves. Unfortunately, all that fear mongering does have an effect on the populace. People become scared and xenophobic. My particular fear is that this is the cycle nations go through before they do something catastrophically stupid and cripple themselves, along with every other country within reach.

          But, y’nkow, that’s just woolgathering.

          • The good news is that we as Americans have the privledged power to cripple every other nation in the world. Other nations can maim, hurt, scare, and even terrorize! but can they destroy the world in a single moment based on self imposed fear and instant retaliation? I think not.

            Who needs nukes when you have the media.

            “insert maniacal laughter here”

            • We also have the nukes, btw.

              Agreed that America is the king of disproportionate response via fear mongering. Politicians have their own political agenda and they’re really waiting and hoping for any disaster so they can push it.

  4. I wonder if having the bomb squad search your ass-ets counts as having a blastproof investment, but then again i will admit to being seriously weird at times. 🙄