655 – White Smoke Mountain • 24

The Wednesday Videos

Indian pop music is a gift to the entire world, and Daler Mehndi is like finding Pam Anderson under your Christmas tree. You’re not quite sure what to do with it, but you can’t stop looking at it.

This is Tunak Tunak Tun, which as near as I can figure out, means “I’m pulling spaghetti out of my nipple”.


This next is a cute little song that’s partly up here because Lena loves it, and partly because it’s a set up for the video following it. It really is a nice song with a positive message and all that, but if happy sweet music makes your toes curl backwards, just listen long enough to get the idea… because you’re really gonna want to hear the one after that.

They say you shouldn’t get into a battle of wits if you’re unarmed, but I say if you do, you should absolutely put it on YouTube. Dar Williams set the table for tolerance and peace, but I’m betting she wouldn’t have used the good china if she knew who was gonna be showing up to dinner.

73 Responses to 655 – White Smoke Mountain • 24

  1. Heal-do-ken is great!!!
    And bunker is seriously… I don’t have the word… What I mean is, what a dick 😆

  2. Wow I would play a cleric if he could use heal-do-ken.

    That 3rd video was hilarious. You could tell it was going to be great from the title, as he seemed to have spelled response wrong.

  3. If all (ex)paladins are hung like this no wonder so many (male) paladins are secretly gay.



    I’d be more worried about the paladin of Heironeous who announced he prefered to spend his time in the inn’s stables “brushing down his horse” and “polishing his longsword” after a long day’s work of adventuring while his less, erm, religiously devoted comrades were carousing.
    The player was a bit miffed when I explained why I had started giggling uncontrollably.

    But seriously… looks like Bunker’s a “show-er”, not a “grower”.
    And also, ew, men look better with their trousers on.
    To quote Kryten from Red Dwarf:
    “But it’s hideous! That’s the best design they could come up with? Are you seriously telling me there were choices and someone said, >Ah. There. That’s it. That’s the shape we’re looking for: The last-chicken-in-the-shop look!<?"

    • Addendum:
      But then, the paladin’s player wasn’t very amused either when I explained my Paladins’ Seat of Power hypothesis:

      1. Almost any rideable creature can technically become a paladin’s Special Mount. (Equines, canines, riding birds, dinosaurs, dolphins, sharks, giant insects, dragons, you name it.)

      2. Usually a paladin is already riding something into battle long before he reaches 5th level when he gets his special mount. The rule books however state that the paladin does not have to discard his previous mount he is already acquainted with and has trained for some creature summoned from the celestial planes; instead his current mount can become infused with celestial energy and gain this special upgrade to be a paladin’s holy mount instead.

      3. Same goes for paladins spending a feat to be allowed to ride unusual, more powerful mounts, magical creatures like i.e. silver dragons or pegasi… they don’t summon these, they find a dragon willing to be ridden instead, bond with it, and the dragon gains the special abilities of a paladin’s mount.

      3. Likewise, if the paladin’s mount dies, it takes a certain amount of time (30 days) until he can summon a new mount. Or, logic dictates, he could just buy a new horse (riding dog, donkey, whatever) or put up an ad for a new dragon on craigslist so he doesn’t have to be a holy pedestrian for a whole month. Then, 30 days later, Boom, divine magic happens.

      4. So, to sum up, if any rideable creature can become a paladin’s special mount simply by the virtue of being ridden by a paladin for a certain amount of time, it follows that the paladin’s holiness is transmitted via his buttocks.

      Kinky. :mrgreen:

      • CRAGSlist (best I could come up with to tie it back to D&D world).

        So, what happens if the Paladin isn’t gay and he rides a woman real hard (other than she enjoy it). Does she become infused with that energy?

        • Sorry only the Paladin’s *other* side is magical.

          Of course it could work for open-minded female paladins or receiving gay ones… instead of summoning a mode of transportation you summon your spouse? Not sure if that fits with the paladin code though, might lose their powers if they tried that.

  4. Amusing cross-tar.

    As for the message… if I’m going to judged, cast out and burned for seeing the marvels in life, the magic in the universe and trying to be true and decent to myself and others, then so be it. Some things are just worth it.

    I don’t have anything to repent, the only sins are hate and fear in the heart of those who live. And in choosing not to live in hate and fear, the creator whatever or whoever it is, shows the universe as a truly glorious creation and if I’m wrong then I’m ok with that. For I will die in pain and loneliness with the knowledge that folks who have stayed true have what they desired. And you know, I’m ok with that. That is an enlightenment that the fires cannot take from me.

  5. Damn! Let no one ever say that Bunker is compensating for soemthing with his sword. 😯
    And that’s in his relaxed mode, right?

    I have to wonder though, is there a reason you made him so big?

  6. Daler Mehndi Rules! I didn’t understand a word, but that video started my humpday with an awesomely positive vibe.

    Tunak Tunak Tun Tunak Tunak Tun Tunak Tunak Tun Tunak Tunak Tun…

    /insert spaghetti nipple dance here

  7. Tunak has been an internet legend since forever, where have you been? It is actually a love song. “Dolenah” means darling. I’ll let that sink in for a minute instead of saying more.

    I like how people of all beliefs are calling the “responce” guy dumb. Kinda unifying [sniff].

    • Dude! I am SO SORRY you already saw that! I would NEVER have posted it if I had realized! I think the best thing to do for the future would be if everyone would send me a list of everything they have already seen on the interwebs so I could avoid that.

      Really, very sorry.

      Responce. LOLZ!

      P.S. A love song? Hm… since there’s only one guy in the video… and he’s in it as four different incarnations of himself… he must be singing to…

      • If the last corner of the internet that somehow has not seen Tunak now gets to see it, I’d say posting the video is still a net gain. Oh, and next time you play WoW check out the Draenei dance, IIRC.

        PPS: So… gay Indian narcissistic foursome? The worst part is that he has access to the Kama Sutra. And now I regrettably leave you with no further distractions to keep that from sinking in.

        • As mental images go, I can top that:

          Imagine Doctor Manhattan from Watchmen.
          Big. Blue. Naked.
          And he can multiply himself. 😯

          On the other hand, he’s quite clearly not gay, so… what a waste of a scientific opportunity.

        • Lena mentioned the Draenei connection too.

          And yeah, I thought about that Christina last time I Watched the Watchmen. If I were Jon? I’d totally do me.

          • With all of Doc Manhattan’s powers he could probably replicate female forms of himself too. Think of the weird, blue orgy that would make. Wow.

  8. Dear Rev. DM:

    Why dinosaurs in D&D? What were the game designers thinking??
    They sort of work in Eberron, because of the whole Pulp Adventure “Lost World” vibe, but otherwise?

    • Dear Christina,

      Game designers for D&D must try to serve as many masters as possible, including DMs who may have a Hidden Valley somewhere in their game world with dinosaurs, giant mosquitoes, and ranch dressing. I would suggest that the dinosaur is just as well suited to D&D as it is to 1940’s pulp fiction and Saturday afternoon adventure shows.

      • Some DMs might want to do a “land of the lost” campaign – Wonder what they’d use for a Sleestak?

      • I suppose the alternative is to make a dinosaur adventure book and that doesn’t seem like enough content to be book-worthy. Or since I know one such book must exist somewhere, I should say that the book usually isn’t worth buying. The MM only has 5 dinosaurs.

  9. Looks like a Heal-ryu-ken to me… and bunker has a massive, yet slightly odd looking trouser snake…

  10. Is it just me or does the guy in the first video look like an Indian Super Mario? His smile is pretty awesome too, and my wife squeeed and declared how much she loved that video when it played. The other two…meh. Nice guitar douche. That’s all I got.

  11. That penis looks panfully large. It is certainly Mentulational.
    Thanks, Retiarius!

      • Well, it looks like he miswrote his sandwich preference in the penis length box on his character sheet, ’cause that’s a footlong! 😛

  12. Where you come up with all the fat, happy, dancing guys from foreign countries? Is this a hobby of yours? If he were on American Idol, I think Simon Cowell would have fallen out of his chair laughing. But I doubt Daler would have cared at all- he’s just having a great time. Too bad it’s not subtitled. Maked me wonder what’s next. Hopefull not a wierd Jesus freak with a huge cross-guitar… DOHH!

    Hey, and a nice double full-frontal in the same panel. With all this talk of Paladin mounts, it makes me wonder if he’ll be mounting Etrusca soon. Heeheehee what a ride!

    • Not a hobby exactly… but there does seem to be a fascination.

      The Jesus guy probably does qualify more as a hobby. I would just LOVE to have a beer with that guy.

      I’d say a Bunker Etrusca tryst doesn’t seem in the cards. I doubt his wife (Violet) would put up with it anyway.