653 – White Smoke Mountain • 22

The Friday Blog

Saturday, May 8th is Drunken Fellowship Day.

A week from tomorrow a gathering is coming over to the house for watching Fellowship of the Ring. Since we are all adults, and therefore legal to act incredibly childish, we have decided to make a drunken revelry of it. (With slooow baked chicken wings!) Ron spent several seconds finding LotR drinking games, and gave me some ideas for one of our own.

So run down to the grocery store, pick up a case of brew, several packages of wings and a few bottles of bar-b-que sauce, and invite your buds over for the Saturday after next! We’ll have a blast!

The Fellowship Drinking Game Rules

  1. Beer Shot: Any reaction shot of just Elijah Woods and his weirdly huge blue eyes. (He can’t be talking, just looking.)
  2. Beer Shot: Every time a firework goes off.
  3. Double Shot: Any time Bilbo says something incomprehensible.
  4. Beer Shot: Whenever Frodo puts on the ring.
  5. DoubleShot: Every time you see Sauron’s finger get cut off.
  6. Beer Shot: Every time Pippin does something stupid.
  7. DoubleShot: Every time Pippin does something life-threateningly stupid.
  8. Beer Shot: Any time it looks like Sam and Frodo want to kiss.
  9. DoubleShot: Any time it looks like Aragorn and Boromir want to kiss.
  10. Beer Shot: Nazgul scream.
  11. Beer Shot: “Oh Sam…”
  12. Beer Shot: Any time you see Sauron’s Big Red Eye. (Ancient supervillain defeated by Visine, story at eleven.)
  13. Beer Shot: Each time Elrond gets pissed.
  14. Double Shot: Each time the Nazgul get pissed.
  15. Full Beer: “Fool of a Took!”
  16. Duration Drink: Any panoramic shot of the party traveling across the countryside.
  17. Beer Shot: Legolas kills something.
  18. Double Shot: Gimli falls down, belches, has CGI snot fly out of his nose, gets thrown, or in any other way displays his role as comedic relief.
  19. Double Shot: For each troll.
  20. Beer Shot: “Gollum!”
  21. Beer Shot: “Precious…”
  22. Double Shot: Any time anyone talks about how surprised they are by hobbits… the hidden strengths of hobbits… or just in general how great hobbits are… which no one knew even though they all spend all their time chatting about it.
  23. Beer Shot: Every time Frodo grabs his chest.
  24. Beer Shot: Every time Boromir catches an arrow with his chest.
  25. Beer Shot: Every time you wish Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli had thought to buy horses at any town they might have passed.
  26. Full Beer: If you can still recognize any of the principle characters at the end of the movie. Two if you can still tell the difference between Merry and Pippin.

I think the best way to do this is to divide the rules up by however many people you have watching, and make them responsible for shouting “DRINK!” whenever their rule gets tapped. Party Foul (you drink alone) if someone else catches one of your rules that you missed.

I’ll let you know how it turns out! (If I can remember it!)

28 Responses to 653 – White Smoke Mountain • 22

  1. Good luck with that. The way those rules are set up, you’ll all be pickled within the first hour. Oh, by the way- you forgot about the biggest drink rule of all: Every time Frodo holds the ring in his hand and stares at it.

  2. Holy Crap Kevin, that is a heck of a lot of rules for drinking.

    Rules 4, 11, 12, 15, 16, 20, and 21 should be enough – simply replace “beer shot” with ‘Rum Shot’ and your good to go.
    according to the rules at hand your going to need more than a case: unless of course your expectation is to NOT drink straight for 3 and a half hours?

  3. Blech…green slime…did they change that, or does it still turn you into green slime after 1-4 meele rounds unless you burn it off with fire?

    That’s gonna sting…good thing they have Martin and Enkidu around…and morty.

      • I once had a Ranger character who had special glass arrowheads made – he would cultivate Green Slime in a glass lined container (GS doesn’t eat glass) and fill the arrowheads with them.

        Shoot big monster, wait 1-4 meele rounds, gain XP.

        • That was nasty, sneaky, cowardly and utterly genius.
          I’m in awe and will steal this and use it the next time i’m playing D&D. 😀

        • How long did this last before the DM started to check for breakage every time you fell or were hit in melee?

          • I don’t know about you Ron, but I wouldn’t even say anything. It’d just be, “You start to feel a stinging sensation on your back… it’s getting worse… Whoops! You’re a green slime!”

          • The cotton-padded 4-compartment quiver with a thin steel jacket kinda pre-empted that particular problem. I only ever kept 4 of the actual arrows in the separate “Green Slime” quiver – the rest of the slime stayed in the protected container in the portable hole until I needed to load more arrows. Since a portable hole is in another dimension, the 4 “ready” arrows were all I had to check regularly. And the GS arrows were reserved for particularly nasty monsters.

            And even shooting a monster wasn’t guaranteed to break the arrows…they had to make a save of glass versus crushing blow even when shot from a longbow, but when they did break, the fight was a lot shorter than otherwise. As a somewhat blunt arrow, they only did 1-2 damage as an arrow, it was the slime that made them dangerous. 😈

  4. I’m only around 100 lbs, so I’ll DIE with these rules before Isildur even loses the ring.

    Besides, I avoid alcohol altogether.

  5. You should add beer shot every time Gandalf, aka Ian McKellan, looks longingly and meaningfully at a little person’s backside. There’s a particularly disturbing moment with Frodo early in the first movie.

  6. Sounds like an excellent excuse to break out my extended version lotr collection. If only those of my friends who actually like it drank. damn teetotalers