The Friday Blog
The Biblical Standard
Wichita, Kansas 04•01•10
Grace Hosen has a dream.
This morning, at 6:30 A.M., Grace rolled out of bed, made breakfast for her family of five, put together the kids lunches and saw her husband Mark off to work just as she does every morning. But from there her day took an exciting twist. After kissing Mark on the cheek and waving goodbye, Grace became a whirlwind of activity, getting herself ready for the Wichita 4th Circuit courtroom, and her place in history.
“I was so jittery, I could barely put on my lipstick.” Grace gushed. “I just kept thinking how happy I was making Jesus. I know he was helping me get it straight.” Mrs. Hosen and her lipstick filed suit at 9:12 this morning (the courtroom officially opens at 9:30) against the state of Kansas for allowing the legal marriage of non-Christian couples, and providing them the rights and privileges that should be reserved to Christians.
Not your average homemaker.
Grace Hosen filed suit on behalf of the Families Across America Political Action Committee, or FAAPAC, of which she is the acting director and a founding member. The organization began ten years ago in response to grassroots efforts to legalize homosexual marriages which presents an intoxicating view of the homosexual to America’s youth. Over that time the group has received hundreds of millions of dollars in funds, thanks in no small part to the efforts of Mrs. Hosen herself. FAAPAC newsletters paint her as the savior of marriage in America, a title she blushingly says is a bit overstated.
“I heard that they (FAAPAC members) had been calling me that.” Grace stated in a 2008 interview for Godsfeast.com. “But I’m just the vessel. God fills me up every night while I sleep in my bed and I just do whatever he asks of me. No different from anyone else.” Mrs. Hosen’s humility extends to the workplace as well, where she she maintains the title of “Acting Director” in order to maintain her Godly station in the family. Her husband Mark is an insurance salesman who specializes in policies for the elderly, and as a result would ordinarily make much less money per year than she. However, as part of her terms for accepting the duties of Director, Grace Hosen insisted that Mark be listed as the actual director, and all of her paychecks be made out to him.
“It’s the way God wanted it.” she humbly says.
God’s grand plan.
With Grace Hosen at the helm last year, FAAPAC utterly defeated the agents of the degenerate homosexual agenda in Kansas and sent them packing. But once the threat was gone, Mrs. Hosen discovered that her mission was far from over. Buoyed by her success in utilizing her greatest weapon… the Bible… in her fight for this great nation’s future, Grace Hosen returned to it’s pages for the next step in God’s plan.
Says Grace, “After so many years reading the Good Book for strategies to use against the homosexual, I was surprised how late my realization came that nowhere in those beautiful pages does God even mention the marriage of non-Christians! His will is clear. These people were never intended to marry. Now I know that our previous battles were just a dry run. This is the fight I God created me for.”
According to Mrs. Hosen, the stakes were actually lower against homosexuals than they are against non-Christians, as unbelievable as that sounds. Her reasoning? Homosexuals cannot reproduce as God intended man to do. Non-Christians are unfortunately perfectly capable of abusing God’s gifts to them and reproducing wholesale… unless FAAPAC removes their ability to be married. Marriage, which non-Christians have no true right under God, to possess.
“If we can take marriage away from the Muslims, and the Hindus, and the Satanists, we can control their population.” Graces beams. “By reserving God’s rightful gift to us, to us, we can finally fulfill God’s plan to make the United States of America a Christian nation, as it was always intended.” And Mrs. Hosen and FAAPAC see no reason to stop there. “With God behind us, I don’t know why we can’t apply the same tactics against the Catholics, or the Lutherans, or any other non-Baptist group of ‘pretend-Christians’. Once that’s done, we can move on to the blacks, Mexicans, and anyone else who stands outside of God’s grace.” At this she pauses a moment, blushing again, obviously embarrassed at the unintentional play on her own name.
“I’m just happy to be living here in God’s world at a time when such hope as this exists.” Grace says quietly.
As are we all Grace Hosen. As are we all.