The Higgs Boson is sometimes known as the god particle, and if conclusively observed and proved to exist could demonstrate how massless particles moving though a non-zero vacuum… this being the theoretical Higgs field… could attract and pick up mass, thus hopefully explaining how particles have mass. This could be used to extrapolate backwards to the big bang, and explain how our most recent universe began. (Apologies to any particle physicists in the audience who just fainted at my inept description.)
Anyway… it’s a big deal, and it’s one of the big reasons (among many) the Hadron Collider was so anticipated by the scientific community of Very Tiny Things. (We’re talking even smaller than mice.) But the Hadron Collider has had a run of extremely bad luck in simply operating normally, much less discovering any stray bits of god laying about, leading some scientists to become a little superstitious about the whole thing. Dr Holger Bech Nielsen and Dr Masao Ninomiya have forwarded the theory that god doesn’t like Higgs Bosons, and is reaching back in time to sabotage the collider in order to prevent any being made.
I’ll buy it. It’s no stupider than anything else people claim that god does.
I’m wondering though, what exactly it is that god has against this particular boson. If we saw his math on how he made the universe, is he afraid we’ll make our own? Or maybe we’ll see his mistakes and be able to fix some things around here, like making rainbows end in real pots of gold or making domesticated turkeys smarter so they won’t drown when it rains. If I had a Higgs Boson I’d use it to make a nude code on my TV so I’d always see Jessica Alba naked no matter what she was wearing.
Do you think god would bother doing a time travel-ninja sabotage move just to keep us from doing something stupid like blowing up the universe or making strawberry milkshakes where the strawberries don’t freeze*? If you were god, would you?
*Chik-fil-a already has these… and they’re awe-SOME! Doctors Nielson and Ninomiya need to hoof it down to Chik-fil-a and check out their bosons!