535 – Hunting the Hunter: 02


As I went to the bank this morning I saw a young woman with very closely cropped red hair dressed in extremely neat and very modern looking clothes… almost a sort of euro-space age pants suit… hop into her tiny black hybrid car and drive away. She was very short, and while well-put together wasn’t a bit the typical underfed gazelle like supermodel we have continually foisted off on us as our “standard” of beauty. To me she looked… mysterious.

And that got me thinking.

There are two looks on women that most guys find the most appealing. Wait. There are three. The first is all dolled up, dressed to the nines, three hour make-up, knockout perfume, looks that kill. Otherwise known as the Bar Huntress look. Second is warm and fuzzy, literally just rolled out of bed, hair everywhere, no make-up, dressed in a T-shirt. This is the Real Woman, or I Can See Your Nipples look.

The third and last look is anything in between the first two.

Seriously, I appreciate all the effort you ladies go to in order to look nice, but I don’t understand it. The lack of understanding is however, a part of the charm. For instance: my wife can spend several consecutive days picking out a pair of shoes. Fit, while a consideration, is less important than appearance. I, on the other hand, don’t really care if she ever wears shoes again. (I’m not a fetishist, but she does have very cute feet.) So why the attention? I don’t know. But that makes her mysterious to me. And a mystery is interesting, and interesting keeps my attention. (Although I find most everything Lena does endlessly fascinating… just sayin’.)

The Monday Question

So here’s the question, for girls, why do you do it? Lena says that girls know guys are too stupid to pay attention and that most primping is done for other girls, but still… why? And guys, While I’m curious to know why you think they do it, I am even more curious about what it means to you. Let us know what you think!

34 Responses to 535 – Hunting the Hunter: 02

  1. What it means to me as a guy? The dolling-up and such? I can understand it to some degree. I like to look good. I have three suits, four snazzy fedoras and a cane I carved and lacquered myself. Generally, though, my wardrobe’s plain. My preference of attributes when evaluating clothing is comfort -> quality -> style. Regardless of how stylish something is, if it doesn’t fit well or if it seems like corners have been cut in its production I won’t buy it. As far as volume goes… I don’t see the point in spending lots of money on many articles. If you make relatively few knowledgeable purchases you can have a nice, small repertoire to choose from that’ll always look good and will last for years. I have seven pairs of jeans, total — one of each style of this unit here. I’ve had them for four years and they’ll last at least another decade. I’d say I have around 150 pairs/articles of clothing, counting footwear and belts (not socks and skivvies, though). It all fits with loads of room to spare in a 2′ x 6′ closet. I’m quite content with what I have, and I even get complimented on my sense of style, which is nice.

    I know people — men and women alike — who have walk-in closets full of stuff. They have so many outfits that they can’t possibly wear each article once a year. I just don’t get it. I’m not saying they don’t look great in their clothes, but rather that the excess offends my tastes. There’s no accounting for taste, though, as they say. I personally would rather spend disposable income on computer games, nice meats and cheeses, comics, art prints & posters, etc, even if I already had an abundance of those things. Obviously my penchant for blowing money on carcasses and entertainment is no more practical or pragmatic than blowing it on textiles. In the same token, spending loads of time playing games isn’t inherently less silly than spending loads of time gussying yourself up with clothes, cosmetics and accessories — it’s just a different kind of silly. Also, not all women are compulsive self-image freaks or fashion & clothing aficionados. I’ve known several whose sense of style and wardrobe is just as “practical” as mine, if not more so. And, as I said earlier, I know several men who are extremely concerned with their appearance and have loads of clothes and such. But that’s the trouble with generalizations, y’know: individuals can’t be boiled down to a soupy core of universal truth.

    Personally? How do I react to gals and their clothing & appearance? Excessive makeup is unattractive — you know, that “she had it airbrushed onto her” look. In fact, if I can tell a woman has applied makeup without employing some close scrutiny, I’d say she’s made herself ugly. I abhor this “thick rim of eyeliner” trend. Actually, most eyeliner looks plain goofy to me regardless of how it’s applied. I don’t mind painted nails, nor do I mind jewelry so long as it isn’t huge and ostentatious (hello massive loop earrings).

    Regards clothing… I do find the look of a woman’s bum in tight-fitting jeans attractive. However, I don’t “like” tight fitting jeans. If I woman has a choice between wearing something comfortable and wearing something that accentuates her body, I’d rather her choose what is comfortable. I don’t care who you are, cutting off circulation to your feet to make your booty more visible is stupid, just as wearing high heels to make your legs look longer is ridiculous. That’s not saying I don’t like how tight jeans or high heels look on a woman. I can’t magically shut down the parts of my brain that influence attraction, but I can rationally evaluate the overall benefit that an article of clothing provides: all things being equal, comfort > looks.

    To your first point, I find people most attractive when they’re dressed casually — a relaxed woman in pajama pants and a t-shirt is my ideal of beauty, really.

    • You make some interesting points that I’ll have to think about… but I believe I’ve got an idea.

      We dress up/make up/shoe up for ourselves. All the other reasons are rationalizations for doing it, but it gives us self-confidence and the feeling that we look good, and that’s what adds the sexy.

      • Right, self-interest is the basal motivating factor in any human decision. But that’s not to say a person’s decision to wear specific clothing or groom themselves in a particular manner is unaffected by other people. Dress is a part of culture and culture is learned from other people. As others in this comment thread have pointed out, people often feel pressured to wear certain things because of societal norms, and even if they don’t feel actively pressured they’ll still naturally pick up the clothing styles of those around them.

        And yeah, I’d say a good bit of the decision to wear whatever we wear comes from how it makes us feel, but then you get back to culture. Maybe your unique dose of culture makes you think wearing a polka-dot bikini is liberating, so when you’re wearing one you feel confident. Confidence is very sexy! But in the same token, regards the relaxed indoor dress… a certain level of untidiness is also undeniably attractive. You mentioned hair all a mess after sleeping, and I would also mention hair after a shower. That has a unique kind of appeal.

        • I agree. But it’s the fact that others see how we make ourselves look as attractive (dressing for others) that makes us confident. (Dressing for ourselves.)

          • No. Any time you hear the word ‘fact’ try thinking ‘shortcut to knowing what is going on’. It’s the sort of shortcut that is inaccurate. A lazy one.

            People see how ‘we’ make ourselves look as acceptable to the social group, or not. Some social groups are wide-ranging in what they will accept. Others are not. Dressing for success is the same as reading self-help books to avoid failure. If you are already confident, they work. If not, it often makes you feel worse, because you are trying and /still/ not succeeding. You put on your best duds, you go out, and everyone looks at your friend. So obviously, instead of being more like yourself, you must be more like her.

          • Oh now I’m lazy, am I? Well you… uh… you eat kittens!

            Amusingly, I spent almost a minute when I wrote that trying to come up with a better word than “fact,” but in the end, I decided it was the most correct. Although I could (and perhaps should) have said “But it’s the fact that some others see how we make ourselves look as attractive…” to build a more critic proof sentence. 😆

            In any case, I stand by my conclusion, that positive reinforcement from (some) others helps us develop confidence in ourselves. (Dressing for others equals dressing for ourselves.)

            Now, a fun side question here, is whether or not this is false confidence. Take away the clothes, and is our test subject still confident, or is she right back where she was? And further, what does this say about the entire issue?

            (You could make it a point to only go out with really boring friends so everyone will pay attention to you!)

          • I agree with Kevin’s assertion that “some people see how we make ourselves look as attractive” — in fact I’d venture to say most people do.

            Some people evaluate the beauty, quality or acceptableness of clothes by comparing them to the known wardrobes of their peers (e.g. “you look bad because you don’t look like my friends”). I don’t think all people are so self-absorbed, though. Everybody has a “normative outlook on style”, i.e. a range/spectrum of styles one sees as “normal” or “usual”. But that doesn’t mean every person conflates “normal” with “good”, “beautiful” or “acceptable”. Some people do, surely, but not all! Suggesting otherwise smacks of extraordinary cynicism. In this same vein, there are plenty of people stupid enough to conflate “natural” with “good”, but that doesn’t mean every person on the planet will be more apt to buy Tostitos chips because they now have a “green product” label on them (greenwashing is an interesting marketing fad of late, but that’s another issue for another time, I think).

            Regards the confidence/security bit… if an individual bases much of their self-image on how often other people look at them, there are more pressing matters to address than the rather high-level problem of “the big bad judgmental social group”. People will always create many social units of various levels of in/exclusiveness… learning to realize and overcome that is part of that nebulous “growing up” bit of life.

            Also… does the site only allow three nests in the comments?

  2. very interesting question, one i’ve wondered about as well. cos i’m a girl and i don’t do it – my idea of the most ‘grooming’ possible (like when at a party or something) – apart from the obvious like washing, lol – is to make sure i brush my hair into a neater ponytail than usual and pick out an interesting shirt. i don’t wear makeup and have always thought the idea really rather weird, why would i want to colour in my face? heh. when i go out for the day i just wear clothes i like, usually chosen for the fabrics or the shapes, not for how they make ME look really. i do always wear tight-to-the-knee bootcut/flared trousers, and no baggy t-shirts or big shirts, because i think baggy stuff makes me look too skinny ( and then people are cruel with the taunts about being annorexic – i’m not, but apparently it’s socially acceptable to say that about people while saying they’re too fat is rightly recognised as rudeness), and also cos neat-fitting clothes look nicer on me, sort of smarter and stylish if looking like a 1970’s student can ever be described as stylish 😆 but thinking about it, i don’t do anything different than if i was a boy with my hair or lack-of-makeup, or wear anything a boy couldn’t like tiny sparkly tops or high heels, and don’t really see why i should. and if boys don’t find it attractive then i don’t care, i’d only want to be with someone who liked me for what i’m like, not because i was particularly skilled at putting on makeup, hehe. it’s also a lot cheaper to not buy all that junk, lol

    these question things are good for dragging new commentors out of the woodwork, i’ve been reading this strip for well over a year now and have always enjoyed it (the change to pencils is fine by me, btw! 😉 ) but never got into commenting. i wonder what the oingy boingy avatar-creature will look like?

    • Adding new folks to the community was definitely a consideration in the question-asking blogs, and I’m happy to see you!

      Sorry that folks rag on you for being thin, but some people just can’t help it. Most often it’s because that’s the kind of treatment they got from their parents, and they really don’t know any better.

  3. You really want to know?

    Women are absolute bitches to other women. Not all the time, but some of the time. And it’s by habit. Women are told ‘if you look this way you will be successful, attractive, and rich’. Men get told that as well, but it’s easier for them to throw off, for reasons that are very complex, including not being told it so much.

    Look at Cinderella. Who is it who forces Cinders to look good for the ball? The fairy fucking godmother. “You can only have the handsome Prince if you accede to looking how I decide you should look.”

    I get flack from people sometimes because I don’t shave, wax, depilate, or put in any effort to changing my body. It’s enough that even though I don’t give one sniff of a whore’s twat what they think, I wear jeans instead of shorts because otherwise people comment, and I can no longer be bothered to hear and consider responding to those comments. Even when they are positive they say ‘well done for being brave’.

    I don’t wear makeup. I just threw away a pair of jeans I have worn for about 30% of the last four years. (Pair #2 went about a week ago, with the same wear patterns.) And I get judged on it. Because people are fed a diet of crap, pap, and mental distortion that tells them not only that they must look right, but that if they do, they are superior to whose who do not. Why do women pay attention to what they look like? Because they’re offered a disincentive if they don’t. Men have the same disincentive, but not nearly so hard.

    Same reason little girls wear pink and little boys aren’t allowed to. Same reason gays often stay in the closet even inside their own heads. They are told what is normal, and they start to believe it.

      • Something I didn’t want to put in earlier because it would have seemed like a digression; men are less likely to appear bothered by dress rules. This is a combination of being less bothered, of being less pressured, and of having a counter-pressure saying ‘you must not be bothered by that’.

        See: http://www.hammerzone.com/archives/editorial/Power.html for a surprisingly clear breakdown. I can’t see that from the male PoV, but I can see it from mine, and it fits.

        • This is such a good article!

          BTW, one year for her birthday I bought Lena a miter saw. That’s just the kind of girl she is.

          On the other hand, I have been with her long enough to tell a “I just stepped in cat vomit” shriek from a “I just saw a roach” shriek, and about a half-dozen others. So I guess the point is well made even here.

  4. Being a red-blooded male, certainly I look at attractive females… whether they are dressed to the hilt, or just in baggy sweat pants. I look, therefore I am.

    But I don’t buy into all the “look good to succeed” crap. Yeah, I have played the game when I have too, but it annoys the hell out of me. We’re told “not to judge a book by it’s cover” yet are bombarded with “dress for success” which totally screws with your brain. No wonder we’re so messed up… we can’t even get dressed without a set of conflicting rules.

    I dress for myself most of the time. I do get the occasional “okay, he’s an idiot” type looks. I also walked out on a car salesman once, as I prepared to pay CASH for the car. I was dressed in a t-shirt and jeans and the salesman made a snide remark about my “going to my credit union to get the cash” when in fact I had EARNED the money in my own business and was buying my wife a car! We left and told his manager why… the salesman had judge my book cover and assumed I was some poor slob. The manager tried to apologize and offer some amends, but we took our business elsewhere.

    It is easier for men. Women are bitches… I have three older sisters and MAN they fought amongst themselves SO much it wasn’t even funny. My oldest sister got married essentially to get out of the house. Not a bad idea for 1966. So I can speak as a man who’s been ruled by women all his life… you women are SO much harder on yourselves. We guys like you sloppy or neat… we’re guys…


  5. Hey, all, I’m back!

    Specifically to answer this question.

    I, personally, (aside from BEING a girl) am in the “I-don’t-care” camp. I don’t dress up in anything that has not been chosen BY ME as the best choice. I do not wear make-up, nor do I style my hair everyday, unless you count my everyday-ponytail as a hairstyle. (Hey. It’s comfortable, keeps the hair out of my face, and keeps my abnormally thick hair from giving me heat stroke.)
    Actually, for things that I mentally label “important” (First days at school/picture day/weddings) I will make an effort to find a ‘nice’ pair of jeans (Ugh. I so don’t get the distinction. If a pair of jeans fits me, is comfortable, and does not expose things that are meant to be covered up, it is a nice pair of jeans. Otherwise, they are used for picking rock/fixing fence.) and get a ‘nice’ shirt on. (Same thing. ‘Nice’ usually=a new school shirt. Rips, tears, uncomfortable-ness shift it into the ‘work-clothes’ pile.) Weddings, being more important, get a nice shirt/blouse and a skirt. And receptions see the return of my jeans, because how do you do all the jumping around one does at a reception in a skirt?
    Make-up, I have NEVER touched, besides when I was little and played with Mom’s. Actually, I have been known to wear lip gloss.

    But I think that most girls do it because there is all this PRESSURE. The fashon models, the magazines with ‘beauty tips’ , the whole dang scene. There are so many reasons that you HAVE to look perfect!
    AND (No offence here, guys.), a big part of it is the MEN. I am NOT being egotistical or just ‘being a woman’ and blaming men. There is SO MUCH that, for us girls, says that all guys want is a size 0 skirt and a body to match it. Art and movies, magazines and television shows.
    All contribute to the message that, heck, nobody seems to MEAN to send (That’s sarcasm, folks), it just…gets sent. And this message clearly says, “You are not worth anyone’s time, energy, or love until you look like THIS.” And then it flashes some shiny, glossy, air-brushed bimbo blond in a size petiet bikini with no belly fat and some flippin’ IMPOSSIBLE legs. And every time we hear/see/acknowledge that message, a bit of us gets messed up on the inside, like a knife stuck in our imperfect areas and twisted. I know girls who are painfully skinny, chasing that impossible perfection. I’ve met girls who wonder if they are lesbian because they look at another’s breasts or legs or stomach or butt, and all they are doing is wanting for themselves what they feel they NEED to have. This image is KILLING people all over the world. It is one of the most widely accepted ways of killing people that there is, through eating disorders or suicide. It needs to stop.

    I went waaayyyy overboard with that, but that’s my opinion. And millions of others share that same opinion. So the real question is…

    Why are we so powerless?

    Can’t we all take a stand? Fight against the steriotypical image of beauty? I’m not proposing a ban on high heels or mascara. Hey, if you like wearing ’em, go right ahead. But you should wear them for YOU. Because YOU LIKE to wear them, not to chase something nobody has ever achieved.

    *Deep breath*

    I’m ending my ramble here. But my goal is that someone sees this and says, “Hey, that’s right.” I want to do my part in the fight against the perfect image.


  6. My image of women has changed a lot since I was a younger man. Not that I’m that old anyway, I’m only 29, but since I was a teenager I guess is what I’m saying. Back then I used to look only at the thin girls with pert little butts and perky boobs. Nowadays I tend to eyeball any woman between 18 and 50 who has a half decent set o’ gams and whose hips aren’t wider than my shoulders. But yeah, I look at larger women too. If they have a pretty face it instantly draws me in. That is by far the most important thing to me on a woman. And my idea of pretty is pretty broad so don’t think I’m only talking gorgeous. I will admit that what a woman wears is important to me but only cause I like dresses. Something about a sun-dress especially, a paper thin thing that when the wind blows wraps around her frame accentuating all the curves. Rowr. Makeup is okay if it looks good, but I usually don’t notice it unless it’s overdone. My wife wears makeup sometimes but I rarely see it till she points it out. It makes her feel pretty though so whatever makes her happy. As far as why women wear what they wear, I don’t know. I’m just a guy and I have no idea what makes women do what they do. Yeah, there are obviously the magazines, the movies, the models all telling women what to wear, how to look, that they’re too fat, yada yada yada. And a lot of them buy into that shite, but when it comes down to it you gotta do what you want to do. If you live your life doing what other people tell you to do all the time then you’re nothing more than a damn robot. And if you bitch about it then you’re a bitchy robot. Nobody I have ever met has been a robot so I don’t think it’s just the outside influences that cause women to wear the makeup or the high heels or what have you. Sometimes its just that they like the way a certain guy looks at their ass when they wear those high heels. When he’s not around, the heels are off. It makes them feel good about themselves, and really that’s what’s important. That’s why I tend to wear baggy t-shirts and shorts. Because that’s what I’m comfortable in. And cause my t-shirts mostly have fun prints on them like the pac-man ghosts or the legend of zelda logo. And shorts show off my leg tattoos. Also I have been known to paint my fingernails, and not black. I like green.

  7. One day back while I was still in high school I noted something; a girl in one of my classes wearing a skirt that was so short she couldn’t possibly have managed to avoid panty-flashing at least one person throughout the day. She was very obviously contorting and arranging herself as to attempt to do just that despite the futility. It was truly awkward looking and without even looking for it I noted she partially flashed me at least once.
    I was in a creative writing class at the time so I decided to make an essay piece about it, asking various people–including her–why they thought women do that when it’s obvious that the reason to wear a skirt that short is to flash somebody, accidentally or not. None of the answers were particularly illuminating because this was high school–everybody was teenagers. A number of them were amusing though, including the subject girl answering that she didn’t know why she wore that skirt to school, which I figured was already going as far as I dared since I was enough of a jerk to have asked her in the first place. More than one girl wearing jeans seemed to agree with my thesis that the point of a skirt that short was to flash someone, there was of course the obligatory hornball answer from one guy who said, “I’m not sure what to say, get her to flash me and maybe I’ll have a better idea.” One girl I’d asked that day turned around, dropped her slacks and bent over, sticking her tongue out at me over her shoulder before pulling back up and walking away without a word.
    I saw her wearing the same skirt after that, looking less awkward about it but still carefully crossing legs and the like to avoid flashing people. Nowadays however pretty much any girl or woman in AmeriCanadian society wearing a skirt that short doesn’t pretend it’s not about the panty-flash… dunno if that’s a loss or a gain. One thing I was certain of coming out of this was that personal style choices aren’t always conscious and even when they are they often aren’t fully thought out, and even when they are that people aren’t always good at being honest with themselves or others about it.
    I settled on asking and answering the question, “Why do so many people practice self-deception?” with the pretty obvious answer, “A lot of reasons, sometimes to help them lie better, sometimes because someone lied to them and they don’t want to accept that, sometimes because recognizing the truth is something that would require them to do things they don’t want to do, and sometimes because they lied so often they started believing themselves.”

    • And sometimes it’s just a nice lie that we really want to believe.

      Say, you don’t happen to remember the name and number of the girl who dropped her pants, do you?

      • Sorry man, never knew it at the time. Probably wrong city for you anyway, and being that this is a pile of years ago at least her number and quite possibly her name as well had better have changed since–or else she’d be a creepy shut-in living with her parents….

  8. I believe women fall into one of two categories- those who want to be looked at, and those who don’t.

    Those who want to be looked at, reguardless if there is anything there worth looking at, will go to amazing lengths to accentuate various features, show a lot of skin, do up the hair & make-up, etc. The whole shebang is there to scream at guys (or girls) HEY, LOOK AT ME!!! The funny part is when they get pissed off because someone LOOKS at them. Sometimes it’s so ingrained that they do it unconciously, and possibly no longer have the body to pull it off (known as the “fasion disaster” or “hoochie mama” look). Note that actual beauty is not a requirement for the desire to be looked at. Some forget they have jealous boyfriends/husbands, or just like to cause trouble. Some just know they’re hot and love the attention, and some do it for specific reasons (trying to bag a man, for instance). Whatever it is, they draw the eye like light falling into a black hole.

    Those who don’t want to be looked at will “frump out” and practically vanish in plain sight. This is the frazzled soccer mom look, the can’t bother to wear anything but sweats look, the fresh from the trailor park look. They are the background behind the “hot chicks” and as such are not easily noticed. Sometimes hot girls will go frumpy to avoid notice, but will sometimes forget and add some “look at me” touches that makes the whole outfit more appealing than is natural. Otherwise the fully “don’t look at me” girl is utterly unremarkable, thus insuring her privacy through total lack of sex appeal. However they often get hit on by loser guys who know they can’t score a “hot chick”. This isn’t to say they don’t clean up well- some very sexy girls can frump out at any given time and return to sexyness at the drop of a hat.

    And that’s all I have to say about that.

      • To me, looks are all pretty much superficial extrusions. It’s all about inner beauty. Doesn’t matter how dolled up or plain looking someone is on the outside, ugliness or beauty on the inside will seep out. Problem is, a lot of guys don’t bother to look past the presentation and see the real person. Same goes for the other way around- which is why so many women end up with good-looking, smooth-talking shitheads. A good woman, with decent self-esteem, self-image, and taste will look good no matter what she wears, reguardless of actual physical appearance. To me, that makes all the difference. It’s unfortunate that such creatures are so rare.

        • I agree with Jesse here. One of my best friends in high school had a little sister who was totally hot. Physically. But she knew she was pretty and it went straight to her head. She, and the vast majority of her hot friends, were total bitches and I hated them. But she had one friend, who actually grew up just down the street from me and was pals with my sister, who was pretty but nowhere near as attractive as the others. Physically. What she may have lacked in “hotness” she more than made up for in personality and the fact that she was outgoing and friendly towards most people. Whereas the other girls would turn their noses up and walk on by when I would say hi she always had a smile and a hello. That says a lot for a person right there, and it can make them much more appealing. Physically.

  9. I always assumed the makeup and the dressup was to realize your own perfect vision of beauty. Maybe that perfect vision SHOULD be “just rolled out of bed” since that’s what you’re going to wake up next to every day for the rest of your life, but there it is. That pinnacle really can be pretty remarkable. I’m a fan of natural myself, and have no desire to see what most are showing off, but if she’s going to go all out in an attempt to blow people’s minds, then as a loyal boyfriend it’s my obligation to be the first one floored. And, on a childish note, dammit, if I have to shave my beard, then she can’t wear trackpants and a basketball jersey everyday.

  10. I once knew this guy who would vomit by the mere thought of body hair somewhere on his girlfriend… And that was in my opinion not his own idea, but something society and “fashion” has induced, like the short skirt… it’s all about apperance these days, and as a teacher i simply cannot believe the effort those teen-girls put into their looks – clothes and makeup and, as mentioned before, short skirts that need pulling down every other second to avoid the only thing they are made for – going up…
    I opt for the more natural look – no makeup, little time spent at the hairdresser – and tend to look after those who can be themselves without all that superficial glitter… i don’t need or want my girlfriend to look like a 12-year old without bodyhair, and i simply don’t get the things some women do to attract/please men… I just don’t… that little special for the occation, yes – but the rest, no…

  11. Meh… I figure us guys dress up quite a bit with leather jackets, cars, guns, nerdy shirts, all stuff that only other guys appreciate. Women do the same thing. Personally I find it boring when I have to listen to the explanation about the shoes or whatever, but then, they have to listen to my nerdy rants and pretend they’re interested so fair’s fair right? You know what turns me on? Girls who will have sex with me. That is seriously hot.

  12. Hmmmm… going to comment without reading the other comments for 30 minutes first, LOL (I’m reading the strip at a snail-pace- the comments are too damn interesting!:P)

    Anyway. I’m a pretty sloppy and lazy girl. I think, currently, my motivation is pretty lacking, since I have a loving boyfriend who simply feels I’m sexy. ME, as a whole, not just physical appearance, if that makes sense? Often I’m groggy-eyed, haven’t washed my hair, with unshaven legs and underarms, baggy/slightly sweaty t-shirt… ugh 😛 (well, my life currently kind of leads me to a situation where I don’t really have to leave the house much or make an effort to look any kind of representable)

    But when we go out, I do doll up at least A BIT. As in, I choose clothes that look good on me and flatter me, comfortableness is an inherent quality in my clothes and shoes, without it I wouldn’t have bought them. I usually put on contact lenses. I put on make-up, since I am not, in a bare-bones state, a very finished piece of art. I don’t think I’m unattractive without make-up, in fact I think I look pretty good just fresh-faced. But I feel simple things like a touch of blush, mascara and light lipstick/gloss enhance me to the point that I’m a moderately attractive female in most males’ eyes. Now why I WANT to look like that… heh 😛

    Well, I guess this is something I take a little measure of pride in. If I can be something for my own sake, why shouldn’t I be? Moreover, since acquiring the loving boyfriend (and I love him back very very very much indeed), I kind of feel I have to “show off” a bit to his friends, or want to, rather. He doesn’t understand it and when I try to dissect it, I don’t either. I guess it boils down to: I expect a certain amount of effort from people to look at least somewhat pleasant while in a social situation. Since I expect them to not look like PIGS, I expect this of myself too 😀 How someone looks like in an intimate or home setting is completely whatever, then you can do what you want (as I do).

    I don’t think this makes any sense, but I wrote what I honestly feel. If I were to analyze myself, perhaps my reasonings would be trite or vain, but these are my emotional responses when I think on this whole mixed pot of attractiveness and societal expectations and females and males and lifestyles and blargh 😛

  13. I know, this thread is SO last year, 🙄 but I feel compelled to comment on it anyway.
    What kind of woman am I, clothes / grooming wise? Well, first off, I don’t leave the house without makeup. I have a skin condition thanks to my ex husband and his repeated application of force to my face. Think LOTS of burst capillaries. Incidentally this is also the reason I do not believe in” turn the other cheek” as a philosophy.
    I (usually) wear comfortable yet dressy sandals. My clothing is usually business casual, i.e. knee or mid-calf length skirts, usually A-line stuff, and nice v-neck blouses. I don’t mind showing off the twins. I’m happy with them and if I can use them to my advantage, I will. My hair is red, and naturally wavy. Naturally wavy may sound nice, but all that translates to is that it turns into a tangled mop at the slightest breath of wind. Pretty much everything I own / wear these days is black silk or black microfiber. I live in the desert. Black fabric really does not absorb much heat, IF it is thin/sheer/lightwieght. In the winter when it gets down around 60 I will add a sweater-jacket or blazer.
    Am I doing this because of societal expectations? Yes, but not the ones you may think of. I may not be wealthy, but my partner and I pay our bills without being on welfare or food stamps. We are GOD DAMNED proud of that fact and it kind of pisses me off when someone in a store takes a snotty attitude along the lines of what Byron related about the car salesmen. I learned along time ago how to dress upper-class on a poverty budget. Thrift stores. Good ones, and careful shopping. (I have a thousand dollar silk suit jacket I got on sale for $1.50!)
    So in the end, it comes down to personal power and dignity. Store clerks are less likely to treat me like I’m stupid, and they are MUCH less likely to be snotty or rude with Ms. Rich Bitch than they will Tammy Trailer.
    I spent years letting someone else decide my image. That ended with the divorce. I am a free and independent woman, and I no longer have to be anybody’s whipping girl; and sweety, I’m damn well gonna show it.

    PS. Issues? Yes, in fact I has enough to qualify as subscriptions. So. Fraccing. What. 😀