28 Responses to 533 – Getting on with It: 05

  1. Based on what little bit of that I was able to choke down I don’t think I’ll be going out of my way to watch Twilight. Or Buffy for that matter. Not really into vampires. Especially not teenage love struck vampires. That sparkle. I mean, WTF is that about anyway? THE SUN KILLS VAMPIRES!!! It’s the one thing all vampire books/games/movies agree on until now. Fuck you Twilight.

    • To be fair, Coppala’s Dracula didn’t (nor did the book) it was primarily a Hammer Horror films thing to work out a good death scene which has been picked up by everyone else. If you look at all of the vulnurabilities of Vampires they really are crap bad guys!

      Have avoided Twilight like the plague but did see the trailer for Twilight 2 when we went to see Harry Potter. Looked laughable, then again I don’t think I’m anywhere near the demographic…

      Twilight in a nutshell from a forum I’m on –
      Bella: Wah, it’s raining, boo hoo.
      Lots of boys: Go out with me!
      Bella: waaaah, boo hoo hoo, lots of boys want to go out with me.
      Edward: Grrrrrr
      Bella: Apart from that one, waaaaahhhhh
      Edward: You should stay away from me, I’m dangerous.
      Random boy: He’s a vampire, you know.
      Bella: Is he? OK
      Edward: You should stay away from me, I’m dangerous.
      Bella: But I love you! Waaahhhhhhh, boo hoo, sob.
      Edward: I love you too, and also would like to eat you for my tea
      Bella: OK
      Edward: You should stay away from me, I’m dangerous
      (big fight)
      Edward: But first come to the prom.

      • The whole “sunlight kills vampires” things came from the old black-n-white, mute movie Nosferatu. Then Dracula movies took it up and ran with it. Don’t ask me where the whole “vampires have to sleep in grave dirt/ unhallowed soil” which later mutated to “vampires have to sleep in the earth of their home country” stuff originated. If I say “folklore” I’d probably turn out to be wrong.

        I mean, back in the middle ages vampires were practically zombies who returned from the grave to haunt their loved ones and bring pestilence. And werewolves would turn into vampires when they died, because lycanthropy was basically a curse, often brought on by a deal with the devil. Or when a baby was born with a tooth already out of the gums. Or being born with red hair. Or having a black cat jump across your corpse by moonlight before oyu oculd be properly buried. And that’s only counting the European folklore.

  2. Great, great video, I loved it!

    Especially considering the whole premise of twilight reposes on outdated ideas on what girls and boys (and their relationship) should be, which gets on my nerve.
    Edward is an “alpha male”, agressive, supposedly strong and silent type (Didn’t they realise he’s silent because he’s just too stupid to say anything?), stubornly protective to his love, and enslaved by it: Before her, and her only, he’s weak, brought to his knees by his loooooove ( 🙄 ).
    Bella, on the other hand, has nothing more important to do than sit and lament in her metaphorical tower, waiting for her prince, the famed “right one”, to come and save her from any and all problems, including her life. She’s weak, has no spine, and neesd a protector to take care of her, her only strength being that all those strong, powerful male desire her.


    Having edward confront buffy, which is a mature, self-reliant woman, shed another light on his “sooooo-romantic” attitudes, and show his obsession for what it is: creepy

    As per bunker… 😆 Poor guy, he never stops, doesn’t he?

    EDIT: Alrek, fun video too 🙂

    • “Especially considering the whole premise of twilight reposes on outdated ideas on what girls and boys (and their relationship) should be, which gets on my nerve.”

      The fact that the author is a Mormon housewife explains a lot of things about Twilight.

  3. Needs more Anita Blake.

    You can blame that on how they’ve portrayed vampires. They’ve portrayed them as bastards with inhuman Charisma (scores), capable of both kicking buttocks and charming hapless mortals, and each time they’ve worked on a movie or game or anything about vampires, they’ve removed vulnerabilities (you can no longer stake them as it’s only a stun for them, garlic does nothing, they BURN crosses and just get mild pain, holy water is like a refreshment, and they still don’t cast a reflection on mirrors but they can enter the house of whom they want). The sun is the only vulnerability that’s anywhere around reliable, and lo and behold, this book (and movie) removes it for purposes of love story.

    Also, “alpha male”? Seriously? That sounds more like a lycanthrope thing…heeeey, maybe we’ve been wrong all about! They’re not vampires, they’re lycanthropes!! Except…they show their savagery with inhuman physical attraction and whatnot.

    So…anyone is going to reluctantly be forced to see the movie and take silver bullets and a good ol’ Colt

  4. twilight is a bunch of bullshit i have no intentions of ever watching or reading it and here are my reasons
    1. vampires cannot go into ANY form of daylight
    2.vampires cannot FALL IN LOVE they are dead for christs sake
    3.THEY CANNOT HAVE CHILDREN again because they are dead
    my daughters are all over this series and we argue all the time about it. their defence is that vampires are mythical beings therefore you can do what ever you want to them which is again bullshit.keep to the old myths. and i can kill anyone with a 1st ed. vampire in d&d my players hate when they encounter one and usually run. sure they may win but someone is going to die in the process (usually the one being an asshole at the time)the best way to get them is everybody knows about the stake thing ,but not many know about the whole decapitation and holy wafers in the mouth thing (oh no the cleric didnt say he was buying any)also i have a great use of the ethereal at will thing( heh armor doesnt apply in that situation either and players really hate that) .i never watched buffy either (but i did see the movie when it came out….bah).i also refused to watch any of the underworld series because lets face it a vampire could kill any werewolf with no difficulty whatsoever.
    just look at their hit dice a werewolf’s hit dice are no more that 3. a vampires hit dice are 8-10 and with a 2 hit dice drain per bite the werewolf is toast in 2 bites. lycanthropy doesn’t affect the dead and yes they are very much DEAD

    my $0.02

    p.s. although i did read the anne rice series and did enjoy them but only because those books got me laid. hey were men. we’ll do anything for sex.just ask bunker……..

    • I find it hilarious that you use the D&D template, when most of the people around would consider as a better choice the World of Darkness series.

      In which any vampire gets creamed by a werewolf.

      Unless it’s one of those fancy Ventrue, with their silly Mindraep Dominate and Presence disciplines. Then again, Werewolf charms are no small thing.

      Besides, vampires have a lot of weaknesses in D&D. A werewolf can cross running water; a vampire cannot. A werewolf can eat so much garlic, it can develop a garlic breath that rebukes vampires; vampires can’t get even close to garlic. And werewolves can walk quite happily in true daylight while vampires are intensely allergic to sunlight.

      Also, Undeath to Death. And Clericzilla casting it. Eddie go “poof”.

      • Any fancy-schmancy Ventrue gets spanked by a Tremere. 😉 My Prussian Tremere always loved that little thaumaturgic anti-Ventrue and anti-Toreador warding ritual that turns any attempt to influence him with the Presence discipline back against its originator. Hope you enjoy your Majesty, Ventrue-boy. 😈

    • I agree that Twilight is a bunch of drivel, unfortunately one that hits all the exact spots that teenagers love. 🙄

      Or, to quote from Agonybooth site: “No matter how good of a job the director did, and no matter how hard the screenwriters worked, nobody else’s talent is ever going to fix the middle-aged woman’s disturbing sparkly wank-dream that is Twilight.”

      But I must disagree, Lord Clavdivs, that the D&D vampire is the definite vampire, or that there is such a thing as a definite vampire lore. Vampires have been through so many permutations in European folklore alone (even if we disregard for a moment the non-European vampire folklore of India and Asia) it’s hard to make a definite list; not to mention 19th century British literature which is where the gentleman vampire first appeared in the form of John Polidori’s Lord Ruthven, and then came 20th century literature, movies and roleplaying games. The vampire as a concept is at this point pretty much malleable, a receptacle for whatever society fears and yet is fascinated with most. First he was disease and death, a hungry ghost, a curse-bringer, then he became outwardly human, a metaphor for untamed sexuality, male and female, and sexually transmitted diseases. He turned into an elegiac immortal with manners and breeding, then an every-day working class dad with fangs, only to shed that facade again and become a ravenous disease, full-circle, multiplying and hiding underground alongside zombie armies in this age of fear of espionage and terrorism.

      Just as the stories of how someone becomes a vampire change: magic, witches, blasphemous oaths, curses, being a werewolf or cannibal while alive, not being buried properly, bitten by a vampire bat, viruses, alien blood parasites… vampires are infected, vampires are a race and born that way, take your pick. Sometimes they drink blood, sometimes they drink life energy, sometiems they drink blood because of the metaphysical life energy therein, sometimes they drink milk or semen…

  5. The thing I always liked about the Anne Rice books is that vampires (male vampires anyway) can’t have sex. Because, well, they’re dead. And with no blood flowing through your veins how do you get it up? But then since biting someone is supposed to be about 100 times better than sex anyway why would you even want to bone some chick when you can just feed on her instead? I want to write a story with vampires where when you drink blood it still just tastes like blood. Like, in most stories blood is this heady narcotic like liquid for vampires. In my book it would just be this coppery tasting warm crap in your mouth. Most vampires would hate it, but it’s necessary for them to live so they drink it anyway. I think that would be fun. Love what you’re doing with Zobbie by the way.

    • Vampires are always in a cycle of being either in or out of fashion, and currently they’re popular again. And like every time some thing is so popular that it becomes an overused trope when played straight, the deconstruction tropes follow closely behind, until even the deconstruction becomes overused, and then the straight trope suddenly appears fresh and new again. *shrug* (Same with elves and drow.)

      So I’m pretty sure your idea has been done before, somewhere. I’ve avoided a lot of vampire literature in the past 8 years or so[*], so I cannot cite an example off the top of my head, but… oh well.

      [*] Except I recently caved in and bought The Strain by Guillermo del Toro and Chuck Hogan, mainly because, well, it’s Guillermo del Toro! The novel was… okay-ish, it started out well but then…sort of… the plot became rather predictable (at least speaking from a roleplayer’s perspective) and ended on a cliffhanger pointing towards a sequel. At least all the annoying characters got offed. I’m pretty sure the novel will be made into a movie (right alongside the movie adaption of World War Z), because it had all the prerequisite clichés of a monster/disaster movie t hat are probably mandatory in Hollywood and the way it’s written screams “let’s make a movie script out of this!”, so maybe it’ll work better on screen.

  6. If the other players convince Freya’s (nameless) sister to have Zobbie turned into a chick just so he character can confirm to their conservative “no crossgender play” sensibilities, I’ll be very cross. 😡
    That said, I find it hilarious that it’s Bunker’s player, not Freya’s sister, who goes out of character to flirt… “But i’d make you a proper girl, and then you and I…”
    “You and I” WHAT, Bunker? You know, it’s funny, I only caught Bunker’s little Freudian slip-up on second reading. First time around, I got so annoyed about the ‘proper girl’ bit 🙄 , I didn’t really notice the rest of the sentence.

    I’m divided on Freya’s sister, if I like her or not. She doesn’t seem to grasp the basics of how roleplaying works, but she sure has sarcasm down pat. :mrgreen:

  7. Just watched that video, and oh my god, not only is it hilarious, it’s very well made. Amusing how both shows have scenes that start so similar, because it boils down to something very basic. Boy stalks girl, girls kisses slays boy…

    To be fair, the whole Angel & Buffy romance of the first Buffy season was very similar to Twilight, with Angel being the creepy-emo-romantic stalker guy. Only then he turned evil.

    (Still, Spike would kick that Edward guy’s ass to next Tuesday. If someone stalks Buffy, it’ll be him.) 😆

  8. From what little I’ve seen of Buffy or Angel, yes, Spike would totally rip Edward’s head off and use it to play English football. And I would laugh.