517 – Delayed Questification: 04


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Thanking you best, I need you now

Your heart is the most wonderful my dear, i am so glad you helping me. The enemy of my father who kills him wants to kill me also and take my inheritance. I am puchased many weeds for you so help me with transfering money out of this country and into you because you are honest

My dear i do not know haw to transfer my money to you, but i will give your account to the bank and he will transfer the money, USD 4.5MILLION to you. I will offer you 15% for wonderful help my dear.

After my parents are dead and i am an opharn, i am loneliness. You are warming and good so please sending all account numbers and we will be together my dear who i am love with all my heart I am also good for cooking and can make you and your wife many good meals and also clean you

Dearest be hastening my situation is most dire as i am afraid of the enemy of my father. If he find me here he will kill me and take our money out. I want to leave now after you transfer the money USD 4.5MILLION to your account because i am scared over here.

I am sleeping with many rats at the hotel, i cry every nite when rats are loving each other on my bed. Help me to come out of my country and go to your school at home.

My dear i am waiting to meet your wife and family after fund are transacted to your account in your country. My Visa is on wait. Dearest i will living with you in your home you are a wonderful person with many hearts.

Please help and more talking

Sweet Love with

Miss Becky

It’s the Best Thing… Evar!

Love Muffin,

Wonderful news! I talked to your banker yesterday and we have ALREADY TRANSFERRED  YOUR MONEY HERE! Isn’t that fantastic? It cost $500 grand, but it was SO worth it!

Now there is nothing stopping you from coming to America as soon as my wife and I get back from the Bahamas. (I know it seems sudden, but we just decided to go! Can you believe that?)

Anyway, we’re going to be having the house remodeled so we’ll just set you up a tent or something in the back yard. You people are used to that, right? The wife and I are in the executive suite at the Hilton, which is AWESOME, so thanks for that. Oh hey, speaking of the wife, as soon as she saw that bank transfer come in she became a lot happier to see you. I think we’re cleared for some awesome three-way action!

Oh hey, it just occurred to me that since the banker and I cleared out your account, you won’t be able to pay for your hotel any more. I’d transfer some cash back to you, but we’re leaving for the boat tomorrow and there’s football on the TV all day today… so what are ya gonna do? That banker mentioned you had a fine ass so you might be able to work that action for some green, (or whatever color your money is out there in crazy monkey-land) but BJs only! That cute little butt of yours belongs to ME now.

I have included a photo of myself so that you can see how honest and handsome I am.

Me, smiling at rainbows.

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15 Responses to 517 – Delayed Questification: 04

  1. Holy atomic pile <- i read this in book and now i use it, it means you did a good job holemaster

    hahaha yes i am both smart AND handisum

    Please it is important that you notise the word AND because it mean i am both those things

  2. Wow, the last few blogs of heart-rending correspondence have been really amazingly incrediblewow.
    Your honesty and kindheartedness is an inspiration to us all. I hope miss Becky gets out of that hotel before she’s scarred for life by those rats making love on her bed. I know I wouldn’t have the heart to interrupt them either.

    Just be careful, man. Nobody wants to see you get your head shartered.

  3. Wow, how did Lena reacted to be treated with “dearest”?

    Also, hastening? I mean, you could figure the individual could be using a translating program, but somehow, the person forgot that someone desperate and endangered wouldn’t calmly say “be hastening” but actually say “DAMN, MOVE IT MAN, THEY GONNA KILL ME!!”

    • I think they look at it like slowly bringing in a large and tricky fish. He could take your hook at any time if he gets too spooked, so you keep trying to reel him in sideways, or slower, or anything you can do to keep him on the line.

      I only needed four passes for my blog, but I’ve read about some of these that continued for months.

  4. “I am puchased many weeds for you” will forever be held in the same place as “all your bases are belong to us”

    I got to read these when they happened, but rereading them is just as much fun. You just gotta wonder what is going through the scammer’s minds. Do they REALLY buy any of this?

  5. Nice touch having the “grim and harrowing tale” be told off screen! Classic! Some episodes of Invader Zim did this, like after a commercial break, Zim would relate a brief tale of what could have been an entire episode’s tale… classic stuff.

    When you get back from the Bahamas I have some “prime” land out in Arizona JUST waiting for you to buy… Cash only man… 🙂

  6. And now… for that little extra spice on your trivial life… Animal Sex !!! – “I am sleeping with many rats ”
    Is it not a mortal condition to have a heart too many??? “you are a wonderful person with many hearts.”

    I’m loving it! 😀

  7. ….After sending that pic you should’ve started “rambling” about the time you accidentally shot your hunting buddy with your shotgun.

  8. So just found out Michael Jackson is dead and North Korea has it’s finger on the button. And I live on the west coast. Sigh. But after reading this at least I know there are still things to laugh about. I am highly anticipating tomorrow’s blog.

    • I feel bad for Michael Jackson. I don’t think he had a very happy life. But I like the comic! 😀 I never had a DM tell a story like that but I’d be mad if he did! 😡

      The blogs are really funny. I told some friends of mine at school about it and everyone laughed! Maybe you’ll have some new readers now! :mrgreen:

  9. Just found out about Jackson. North Korea… Is it any surprise, or has something changed? This is madness.
    Also, just found out there’s a media blackout here on what is called by some “the french watergate”. Only one journalist had enough guts to ask a question about it to our omnipresident, and he was ostensibly despised and laughed at.