516 – Delayed Questification: 03


Every day you don’t vote for HOLE on Top Web Comics, god kills Little Tommy McFiddenbach’s goldfish.

Thanks for your mail, I am waiting to hear from you

Dearest Big Bunker

May the peace be with you

Wishing you best compliment of the day, I recieved your quick response with thanks. My dear i am seriouse please i really need your help with all your heart and help me in this my situation because i am scared of my life here

I am really in need of help due to the political crises in my country and coupled with the threat by my fathers enemy who wants to kill me in other to take this my inheritance and this the reason i need your assistance please to transfer this fund to your account as quick as you can and help me to come out of this country for my security my life and this fund with you.

My dearest i am from Abidjan Cote d’ ivoire in west Africa, 22 years old girl, i have left my family house and now hiding in a local hotel here for my security and is from here i contacted you to help me in this situation.

My dear i have no idea of transfering money, i was a student before the sudden death of my parents so i don’t know about transfer and investment and that is the reason i contacted you to be my guidian of this money in any thing that we are going to invest in your country, i want you to be honest to me because i have no body to care for me just an opharn.

I was about to finish my secondary school before my father was killied so i stoped going to school So i plead to you to try as much as you can to assist me immediatly to transfer this fund to your account and assist me to come out of this country.

I have the contact of the bank with me and also the lodgement reciept which i will like to forward to you as my guardian and also the beneficiary of the fund on my behalf and instruct the bank to transfer the fund in your account on my behalf.

The amount in the bank is USD 4.5MILLION and was deposited in fixed suspence account with the bank and I am willing to offer you 15%percent of the total fund after the transfer of the fund to your account and you help me come to your country and i plead to you please accept it.

Please remember that i dont want to stay in this country any longer and that is why i contact you for your assistance in this matter.

My dear i don’t know about this transaction so please handle this transaction with honest and confidence. My intention is that after the transfer of this money to your account i will arrange for my visa to come to your country where there peace and security.

Secondly i will like you to search for a school where i will continue my education while you will take in control of the investment we are going to make with the fund.

Instructions For You Sweet Girl


Okay, I know you’re scared, but there are a few things I need for you to do before you leave. I am glad you want to come and live with me (22 years old… hubba hubba!) but I am married so we’ll need to make it look like you’re the maid or something. Are you a virgin? I only ask because I don’t want to catch anything.

Anyway, you need to take as much of that money as you can and buy as much weed as you can lay your hands on. That stuff goes like CRAZY here in the States, and everyone will love you here for it and not try to poison you or anything. Plus, I’m worried that your evil uncle will track you by the transfer numbers and I don’t want my brain shartered too. Weed is way harder to keep track of.

Don’t worry about a school. I can “home school” you in our customs and mating rituals myself, and that’s way more valuable than a formal education. I have several girls who offer these services to many wealthy and attractive men, and they even get paid for it! Wouldn’t you like to do that too?

I know we’ve only just started talking together Becky, but I feel very close to you now, and I fear for your safety. I am glad though that you have enough money to stay in the hotel for as long as it will take you to buy lots of weed.

Long, long loving,

Big Bunker

P.S. Don’t forget the weed.

Your vote every day is important to me, and free for you! Pitch in and help a poor webcomic out!

27 Responses to 516 – Delayed Questification: 03

    • I have plenty growing in my yard – you’re welcome to it.

      Oh. Wait. You’re talking about something else, aren’t you?

  1. When building RPG games on the computer using the toolsets provided by the software, I sometimes put large piles of gold, magic weapons diamonds etc, in places that are inaccessable – behind unbreakable walls, in unbreakable chests with massive damage resistance, that kind of place.

    It amuses me that in a place where adventurers are fighting over copper pieces, there is a vast horde of items just inches away.

    This isn’t so satisfying in pen and paper RPG’s, because the players will never know just how close they are.


    • That doesn’t always work…. had a DM who tried things like that. We knew better.

      “Hrmmm….. okay, checking for secret passages here, there, and there…. nothing? Okay, I’m summoning Claws of the Umber Hulk, using my Ring of Strength, and having the cleric bless my claws, then digging thru the wall, right here.”
      “…………erm….. okay…… damn….. why right there?”
      “Because the map shows a big blank spot right there. You *never* leave a blank spot, it’s always filled up with a hidden room or some crap.”

  2. Kevin –

    You are an evil evil evil man! No wonder I like you and your site so much. My mother, aged 76, did something similar to what you are doing a few years back. She kept the string going for quite a while and we all have a good laugh about it every holiday season!


    • Could have been worse. Could have been roast beef. (Yes, it really happened. No, it wasn’t fun.)

  3. If it were me, I’d just earthquake Castle Rottencore and fuck it up so Erias wouldn’t be invulnerable any more, then shoot him with like a thousand 1st level archers, and then I’d be the guy who killed Erias and I’d go nail me some bitches YEAH!

  4. Yay! I have a Gravitar! Thanks Lena! :mrgreen:

    Is that really what orcs used to look like? That was before my time, all you old people! 😆

    The blog is SO FUNNY! I want to try this too but I think I won’t because it might be dangerous. It’s funny that you did it though! 😆

    • You are welcome! I noticed your new avatar and thought “Hey! Someone actually read what I put in the sidebar”. Cute Buffy Avatar. I saw those statues online just last week and was wanting one. (:

  5. $4.5 million for weed… Must be Chicago Green or Acapulco Gold. Good shit… and with $4.5 million in weed, we’d be set for life or at least we wouldn’t care about anything else…

    I’ll bring the matches and papers… 🙂

    Love the background action, very cool!

    • Having absolutely no experience with controlled substances, I’m curious. How much would $4.5 million actually buy? Are we talking tons here? I’m concerned that poor Becky might not be able to get that much weed through customs, get arrested and sent back to be poisoned by her uncle!

  6. So you sent her a mail acting like a drugdealing pimp and she still replied 2 more times???

    You should do this more often cuz its hilarious

    • Yes, that would be exactly what happened.

      As long as you continue to talk to them, they think there is still a chance at them getting your money.

  7. Did a similar thing but at the point where I was asking for travelling money because I was fresh out of spare cash, the spammer cut the conversation and instead sent me a virus. Ha Ha Ha!

    I wonder because this scheme is one of the oldest scams out there in the internet – how many people actually still fall for this shit? 🙄

    • According to a story a couple years ago (http://english.peopledaily.com.cn/90001/90781/90877/6220701.html) there are 100 brand new Internet users every minute … and that’s just in China. Or there were at the time of publication. So, yeah, there’s a never-ending stream of n00bs plugging into the ‘net on a regular basis who have no practical experience in dealing with online scammers. And the scammers only really need a small fraction of them to take the bait for it to be profitable.

  8. Kevin, you are an artist. And I’m not talking about the comic. Though the comic is great as usual. I nailed it with the old school orc comment few days back. Yay.

    Lena: I read the Gravatar thing but I just don’t like signing up for anything on line that I don’t know exactly, EXACTLY, where my information is going. And they were too vague for me. Plus I just don’t know what kind of pic I’d put as my avatar anyway…

    • No worries Tim. It was only information. Certainly wasn’t a demand on anyone. I will say that Gravatar has been around a while and is a pretty mature system. I haven’t seen any evidence of them doing anything “bad”. I think the little monsters are cool anyway. It’s always a good idea to be suspect on the internet. 😛