487 – The Lizard King: 14


What happened: On the morning of April 27th the back-up plane to Air Force One was sent to New York, along with an honor guard of two F-16 fighter jets, for a photo op with the Statue of Liberty. The FAA had informed the police department about the photo shoot, but had given them strict instruction not to tell the public in case someone stuck their fingers up behind Lady Liberty’s head and gave her bug antennas or something. The photographer wasn’t happy with his first pics and had the planes come around twice more before he declared it a wrap.

What everyone saw: A 747 chased by two Air Force fighters buzzed the Statue of Liberty, flying unusually low over the city’s financial district. After the first missed opportunity, the jumbo jet tried twice more before finally fleeing the area. Financial and construction workers took flight in the thousands from the area, fearing a second 9-11 style terrorist strike. 

What I think: Louis Caldera, the Director of the White House Military Office has officially accepted the responsibility for this little fiasco, having signed the approval papers and all. I’m thinking that the city of New York should appoint a task force, at the cost of the White House Military Office, to hide in bushes, behind cars, under beds, anywhere and everywhere Mr. Caldera goes, to jump out and scare him until he finally has a nervous breakdown.

11 Responses to 487 – The Lizard King: 14

  1. Don’t you have to have had some sort of breakdown already, to think this is a good idea to begin with?

  2. Actually, if they had -publicized- this little stunt, it would have been a great idea. The public would have loved it. Unfortunately, someone whose IQ is smaller than his shoe size decided “Hey! If we publicize what we’re going to do, the bad guys might shoot at the plane! Let’s be all covert and sneaky, and avoid that issue!” Sadly, nobody smacked this fool upside his head like he (and it had to be a guy, regardless of who signed the orders; women tend to -think- a bit more, and are more likely to at least be aware of public reactions to things) so richly deserved. Now, he was right, to an extent; if the event had been publicized prior to its occurrence, some terrorist could conceivably had a “Man Portable Air Defense” waiting for the plane to come by. That said, it was STUPID. In fact, it was more than stupid, it was downright dangerous. People could have been hurt in the near-panic that ensued. It was more likely that people would get hurt stampeding away from the area than it was that some dickweed who thinks Allah likes idiots would take a potshot, successful or otherwise (and with the military escort, it was more likely to not be successful; they -will- take the hit to protect that plane if they have to).

  3. Why not broadcast it as the plane was taking off / arriving / getting close (whatever). Not enough time for a planned attack and yet the public knows and doesn’t panic.

  4. Three planes, flying low… New York… public historical monument….
    But hey, don’t tell the public, Joe!
    *headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk*
    It’s like reality is written by The Onion now.

    SQLGuru wrote: “Why not broadcast it as the plane was taking off / arriving / getting close (whatever). Not enough time for a planned attack and yet the public knows and doesn’t panic.”

    Unless it’s commonplace for New Yorkers to own anti-aircraft missiles these days. Well, what do I know?

    Seriously, seeing reactions from across the pond, I often get the feeling Americans (and not just the public, their military too) have been thoroughly brainwashed by the “Be afraid, swarty terrorists are hiding behind the bushes in everyone’s backyard!” propaganda.

    You know, it would have been funny if people had recognized the A 747 as the sister plane to Air Force One. I can see the headlines:
    “Government Tries to Attack Lady Liberty, Chased Off by Air Force!”
    “Rogue Ex-Vice-President Emerges from Undisclosed Location, Steals Gov Joyride to Look Up Lady Liberty’s Skirt”
    “Cheney Vows To Attack U.S. If A Democrat Is Elected”

    Oh wait, that last one was The Onion. My bad.

  5. Interesting. One of Germany’s leading news magazines, DER SPIEGEL, published an obituary for Dave Arneson today in its online issue.

    “Rollenspiellegende Dave Arneson: Der Drachenvater”
    (Roleplaying Legend Dave Arneson: The Father of Dragons)

    Sorry it’s in German, of course, I just thought it nice that they wrote something even if it was with more than a month delay. They had previously published an obituary for Gary Gygax, too, a day after Gygax’ death. Seems like there are some geeks in that news agency.
    “Zum Tod von Gary Gygax: Der Herr der Dungeons”

  6. I can see the logic behind keeping the flight quiet.

    But to not tell ANYONE in NY? That’s just plain stupid.

  7. This guy must be related to the retards who tried to f*** with the power saw.
    Ok, that was mean, but COME ON. My 5-year-old cousin could handle this better.
    *Agrees with Christina*


  8. This kind of thing is why I don’t watch/read the news. As an American I don’t want to know what the rest of us are up to out there. It just depresses me.

    @Christina: I like the headlines. Reads like a British tabloid.