485 – The Lizard King: 12

485
I feel so sorry for this kid. He clearly wasn’t ready for this, and nobody rescues him the whole, sad, embarrassing time. He’s something of an internet sensation now though, as his catch phrase, “boom goes the dynamite,” has run rampant across YouTube. For those who haven’t yet seen this, I present the sad tale of a scared and lonely kid and his nemesis β€” theΒ TelePrompTer β€”Β for your amusement and laughter.

21 Responses to 485 – The Lizard King: 12

  1. Ah the old cursed Gender Blender belt of Masulinity/Femininity.

    Now I guess he’s Leisure Suit Linda?

    Poor Kid with the prompter…maybe Barak Obama can tutor him on proper teleprompter use?

  2. reading teleprompters must be hard. I try reading the paper out loud sometimes and, unless I rehearse, I will end up stumbling at some point.

    God. If I was this kid I would have come down with a severe case of stage fright at this point. I never would have been able to finish it.

    Good for him for pushing his way through.

  3. wow man, total way to rip off order of the stick……I feel ashamed to even read that comic.

  4. “total way to rip off order of the stick”

    Yes, nevermind the original source (1st edition) or the fact that it has appeared in Baldur’s Gate as well, long before OotS made mention of it. While I’m sure Kevin is aware of the Order of the Stick featurette surrounding the girdle’s use, I think it would be harder to accept a D&D comic -without- said belt featured somewhere in its pages.

    Short but sweet strip, Kevin. Been a fan for a while.

  5. Chillax. It becomes an acknowledged rip off later.

    However, it really isn’t an OotS rip off. The Girdle of Masculinity/Femininity” was an old AD&D cursed magic item, and high school aged DMs frequently used them to vex players whenever they were feeling puckish. Since then, it’s become a huge trope in the webcomics world. Examples include not only Order of the Stick, but also Sparkling Generation Valkyrie Yuuki, 1977, Exiern, Misfile, Abstract Gender, El Goonish Shive, The Wotch, Cheer, Troop 37, MSF High, Discordia, Sailor Sun, and New World, to name but a very few.

    My intention was not to rip off anyone, but rather to play with the whole trope.

    (I have “ripped off” Rich Burlew in the past, ((We call it “creative borrowing”)) but always with both an acknowledgement and an apology in the header.)

  6. Amateurs Copy, Professionals Steal.

    There is NOTHING original folks, so get over it. How you make it your own is what counts, and Kevin has done an excellent job of that. Who wouldn’t want one of those belts? Ever needed to return something at a store? They’ll toss it back at us guys, but, hand it to your wife, and WHAM, they’ll take it every time. What gives? Long live gender bending in comics!

    And he/she better be careful saying “F— me…” as that might just happen! πŸ™‚

    OH MY GOD that video reminds me of my college TV intern days. You now know why I worked BEHIND the cameras. Teleprompters (or cue cards in my day) are EXTREMELY hard to read properly without looking like a total dufus. And if you think that’s hard, try using an ear prompter a lot of folks use these days! Hard as hell.

    πŸ˜›

  7. @Byron:
    You’ve said before that you’ve never played D&D, so of course I don’t expect you to know this. But who wouldn’t want one of those belts? Most people wouldn’t, actually. In D&D, they’re cursed – once you put them on, you can’t take them off without magical help. And considering how much of an ass Enkidu is, I’m sure the rest of the group will be in no hurry to remove it for him. πŸ™‚

  8. I have to chime in here on the “ripping”. I agree with Bryon. There isn’t much original and it’s all how to make it your own. However…

    To anyone here that reads OOTS, you may have noticed VERY similar themes to HOLE several times. Check the dates of the postings to see whose got posted first. Coincidence? We’ve also noticed other similar themes to HOLE in other popular strips as well. You can check the dates on those too.

  9. Although, I agree with Byron in that an uncursed, ie removable, version of that belt would be an awesome thing to have.

  10. Ah, the most dreaded of all cursed items strikes again! I laughed like crazy. Enkidu so deserves that, that and worse. Now, if karmic retribution strikes Martin too, I’ll be double-happy.

    What’s more amusing is that the first panel of 485 really telegraphs the lizardking’s, hem, “feminine curves” (already shown in 484, but the foregorund action distracted from it), but my brain only really realized what my eyes had seen when I got to the third panel a heartbeat later, and then my eyes went back and…ha!

    Prior to that, we only had seen the lizardking lounging in his chair (does that make him a lounge lizard, then? sorry, sorry *snerk*) where it wasn’t so obvious, he only looked lazy and overweight . Plus of course the fact that Toadie called him “King Jim”. Nice distraction, Kevin. πŸ˜€

    So I guess lizardmen, well, lizardpeople don’t give a damn if their king had a magical sex change and still called him Jim for the sake of old times. Unless…the king was really a female to begin with! She picked up the belt one day, got ZAPPED! and then he only changed back into a female lizardman after his/her death, because in (A)D&D most curses stop working when you die. If she was queen before that and retained office but simply switched titles, or if (s)he became king afterwards, we’ll never know.

    I mean, speaking as a biologist, in real world reptiles, anurans (toads, frogs) and dinosaurs the females are usually larger and heavier than the males and often more dominant and aggressive in protecting their young. Same with hyenas. So if fantasy game authors had a lick of biological knowledge, D&D races like kobolds, lizardmen, gnolls and flinds would be matriarchal societies. But then, I guess, reality is overruled on the ground of the following fact: Most RPG authors and gamers in the 1970s/1980s were male. And the only matriarchs allowed are evil drow priestesses in dominatrix gear and leather riding crops. *cough*

    As for the logic of mammalian breasts on a reptile, Fantasy and SciFi artists love to stick breasts on anything remotely female, and even on things that aren’t, like robots, humanoid plant people, races made of stone… πŸ˜‰

    And it bears repeating: Enkidu so deserved that.
    Not that I expect him to learn anything from it.

    Does the spell Remove Curse still exist in 4th Edition? Perhaps Morty gets abducted before he can cast it on Enkidu.

  11. Wait… who stole the lizardking’s red vest between strips 483 and 484? For that matter, who killed the lizardking? Bunker?

    Martin has a thing for red clothes… *rubs hands in grim anticipation*

    Nice change between Enkidu’s male appearance and his female form, Kevin. The facial change is subtle but it’s there. Well done. But there’s something off about the position of she-Enkidu’s legs in the last panel.

  12. Wasn’t a positioning thing, I think the thighs are too long and the calves are too short. Hate making mistakes like that. I’ve decided to move on with my life though.

    As I was drawing I made up a little story for King Jim. He was once a short-order cook in a greasy lizard spoon named Mel’s. He put on the belt in a lizard department store because it was patent leather elf skin and went great with his new boots. (Jim was a skinny little lizard and he was dressing fine to score with the laydeez.) Unfortunately the belt was cursed and he became a she… and developed a prodigious drug habit to help him cope with his new gender identity. That led to much partying and munching and one extremely stoned night… Jim ate the king. (And we all know that whoever eats the king gets to be the new king.)

    As for the breasts… hey, it’s a visual medium. Who doesn’t like boobies?

  13. O course, when I was a GM, I changed it a bit. The belt itself could be removed, but the curse was a REAL transformation, not a dispellable curse (and you couldn’t just put the belt back on to switch again – The belt could only “discharge” it’s power once per person, and there were only two of them in the entire game world, and they were “relics” (meaning they were indestructable), so the only ways to change back were the “Polymorph: Other” spell, a wish, or to find the other belt.)

  14. Losing that headband surely made ol’ Enkidu return to be a bit thick-headed…

    So, how it should be called? Shenkidu? Shenki?

    Here’s going for Morty (of all people) to mock him. Or at least tell the former him words of aid (which, of course, will be a thinly-veiled insult)

    The best thing, Kev, is that She-nkidu is pretty flat-chested. That makes for two triggers of his orcish angry heritage. Word to the wise would say: don’t get near the former him when on “those days”, and by any circumstance, don’t tell the former him about his fried eggs. Specially not that!

  15. Keep in mind, also, that H.O.L.E. is enjoyably a parody and a farce. The tradition is parody is to clearly represent the work of others in order to make fun of it. I believe there is even an exception in US copyright law for parody.

  16. Okay… um… full disclosure time. I thought I had read all the OotS that had appeared online, (I haven’t bought any of the books yet) but I don’t actually remember Rich doing a girdle story. (Which, clearly, he did.) Was it in a book, or was it online and I just forgot about it?

  17. You sort of effectively do…

    I eventually crafted, in the 3.0 game I was in, what I called the Venus Pendant; sort of a weaker version of the Girdle. Using Alter Self to switch the person to what they would look like as the opposite gender, and lasting for an hour after removal. Just long enough to freak out someone who didn’t know, and long enough to be useful as a disguise tool, but not nearly permanent. GM I was under at the time ruled that in the case of pregnancies, they were “suspended” while the person was male, no matter which their original gender was.

  18. Thsi Gender Bending webcomic sure did garner a lot of attention of this week. I didn’t know there was such passion for DND Webcomics. I’ll be keeping an eye on this one, for sure πŸ™‚