Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Iowa (!) all have now legalized gay marriage. On the 1st of September, Vermont will join them. Iowa and Vermont are of particular importance as their legalization was achieved through legislative, rather than judicial means. This means it has been formally written into law, and cannot be as easily overturned.
The federal government is not allowed to recognize any marriage that does not consist of one man and one woman. This is because the ocular sensors of the federal government depend on penises ejaculating into vaginas in order to see. Penises ejaculating into buttholes confuse the federal government’s eyes and cause it to shamble about like a drunk dog with it’s two front legs taped together. (The original eyes of the federal government were replaced in 1996 by the Defense of Marriage Act.)
This is much like the situation pre-1967 when the federal government could not recognize interracial marriages. (Back then the penis and the vagina had to be the same color or the eyes would lose track of the darker one. They eventually got special glasses.)
The federal government is very concerned about who you put your penises into, and who’s penises you let inside you. The federal government is doing this out of a concern for your well-being, and a general sense of goodness. You can even take heart in knowing that the federal government knows best about your penis and/or vagina, given their previous stances on interracial marriage and women’s rights, which were both based on the exact same arguments as this issue.
Maine just signed a bill into law allowing gay marriage, and New Hampshire legislators are immediately before sending a bill to their governor, who hasn’t revealed his intentions yet. Yay Maine!