So how many times has this happened to you? You wake up late, hungover, a stranger in the bed with you, maybe of the wrong sex, maybe dead, and you just forget to say your morning prayers? Well worry no longer, because Information Age Prayer.com is here for you!
Information Age Prayer.com is the handy service, which, for an almost entirely insignificant fee, will program their text-to speech computers to “incant” your prayers for you, relieving you of the pesky burden of having to relate to god personally! All you have to do is visit the site, click the button for your religion to see the available prayers, (Protestant, Catholic, Jewish, Muslim, Unaffiliated, or Other Religion… in that order) choose the prayers you want the computer to incant to god for you, input your credit card number, and viola! Your stairway to heaven is guaranteed, all for the low, low price of $3.95 per month, per daily prayer. (Extra special deals on bundled prayers!) And there are testimonials to prove that it works, so it’s obvious that god likes it too!
Information Age Prayer.com donates 10% of all proceeds to charity, keeping a mere 90% for themselves. I feel so spiritual right now.