469 – Hero Soup: 06


Jinzhu, the 11 year old male panda of the Wolong Nature Reserve  in China’s Southwest Sichuan province, gave birth to twin cubs in August of 2007. The two cubs, probably female, have done just fine since their surprise arrival.

Li Desheng, an expert on pandas, claimed that the apparent mistake in properly sexing Jinzhu was because pandas have almost no cock. “The penis of an adult panda is only about three centimeters long,” he said. There may have been other clues, however.

In 2000 Jinzhu was paired off with a female panda to mate. When neither of them want to screw, the vets decided on artificial insemination. Trying to “milk” sperm from Jinzhu led to the discovery that the bear had no cock at all, which, rather than bringing the veterinarians to the conclusion that a bear with no cock might be a girl bear, instead caused them to announce that Jinzhu was a hermaphrodite with underdeveloped sex organs. (Obviously the more likely scenario.) Curiously, genetic testing showed that Jinzhu had perfectly normal female panda chromosomes. 

Thus it was a complete surprise to everyone when the bear had babies. God works in mysterious ways.

3 Responses to 469 – Hero Soup: 06

  1. Hush, Kev!! Don’t try to tease the modern wizards! They may…I dunno, try to unmake you with their minds? You know, prolly those scientists know a cousin’s cousin’s brother’s uncle’s sister’s mother’s grandmother’s old crony friend, who might be a psychic or just an ol’ hag. (Probably an annis, though I have a weird soft spot for old-school bog hags from the Oriental Adventures setting)

    And then they tease at geeks and gamers when they have their own instances at make-believe. Wishing with all of their hearts that the poor panda was a boy, when they royally screwed up, to make for their mistake.

    Speaking of mistakes, is it a mistake or a hint of lunacy when one of the things you love of a videogame is how brutally difficult can be their enemies, to the point of provoking TPK on the second floor? Well, aside from the old feel, and the blatant justification of level-grinding, and the thin veneer of a story…