Slap Away Your Troubles With a Slap Chop
Vince Shlomi, the Shamwow guy, recently got himself in a spot o’ trouble with one Ms. Sasha Harris of Miami. Ms. Harris asked Vince if he wanted to have sex with her, to which he responded, “Sure, is a thousand dollars enough?”
Sasha followed Vince went up to his room… only to emerge shortly thereafter, her face a bruised and bloodied mess. She ran screaming to the lobby where the clerks quickly summoned the Miami police. According to Vince, he was kissing Sasha when she bit down on his tongue and wouldn’t let go, so he stood there and punched her in the face, with his tongue still held in her mouth, until she let go. Obviously he was wise to the old Miami hooker tongue-trap that had laid so many semi-celebs low in the past.
Sasha refused to comment to the police because she’s a hooker, so obviously Vince must have been telling the truth about fucking up her face in the brave defense of his tongue.
In related news, Vince Shlomi’s newest tag line for his most recent product, the Slap Chop, is “You’re gonna love my nuts.”
I’m sure we will, Vince, I’m sure we will.