Lena makes me watch America’s Next Top Model on Girl Day every week. I always try to find some reason to be entertained since the alternative is stuffing firecrackers under my eyelids and destroying my ability to be harmed by the show. Mostly.
But ANTM does provide some amusement even for one coming at it from such a curmudgeonly angle, as it is fun to watch these girls who have usually been handed everything they’ve ever wanted in their lives go to pieces over being asked to both walk and talk… though not at the same time. Also, the show is a fun drinking game. The trigger phrase for us is, “This is a competition.” a mantra on the show for girls seeking to explain why it’s so hard to sit still in front of a camera while looking fiercely bored… but primarily as a rationalization for being a bitch to all of their housemates. Generally speaking, everyone is unhappy, and everyone cries.
And finally there is this. Because the torturous “competition” you see onscreen is nothing compared to what happens off of it. I need to start drinking earlier.