456 – Bringing the Hurt: 3

456

After Obama’s address to Congress (his faux State of the Union Address) the Republican Party put forward Bobby Jindal to state their side of the case. Bobby is considered something of a prodigy, having been a community leader, the president of Louisiana’s university system, a Congressman and now the state’s governor. He has been discussed as the Republican’s answer to Obama, and a possibility for presidential candidate come 2012. (I have to wonder if this is serious.) 

Born and raised Hindi, Bobby converted to Catholicism as a young man. In December of 1994 he wrote an article for the New Oxford Review that details the “strange behavior” of his friend “Susan,” who was unaccountably crying uncontrollably after having been diagnosed with cancer and the suicide of her best friend. Bobby was unable to determine the cause of Susan’s tears, and later concluded (as anyone would have) that the girl was possessed by a demon which was wracked with pain by the christian music they had been listening to. His conclusion was supported by Susan’s bizarre rage at being pinned to the floor by her friends and sister, while the group (Bobby included) chanted bible verses at her. Finally, Bobby knew they were doing the right thing when Susan attempted to escape the exorcism, proving that she was the victim of demonic possession.

Afterwards, Bobby reports, Susan awoke as if from a dream, free of her demonic parasite. Oh, and he also cured her cancer.

 

(April fools! I got you all! Bobby Jindal was never a community leader! LOL!)

17 Responses to 456 – Bringing the Hurt: 3

  1. You mock him and you do so with fair reason since that is sociopathic, superstitious and moronic.
    That said, I warn everybody against trivializing and misunderstanding the issue. A large number of Americans are religious-dogmatist, anti-intellectual, fascist or swayed by the pundits of the above. Most people under those headings take sociopathic, superstitious, moronic behaviour like performing undesired exorcisms as the highest recommendation possible… of someone not being one of the corrupt, “liberal” politicians they blame for causing their problems. A quote I’ve personally heard from one shopping-cart Christian is that George W. Bush was an idiot but at least he wasn’t, “One of them corrupt, liberal, fatcats who keep telling us to marry our gays together and tolerate immoral, child-killin’ ways–and pay for it out of my tax money.”
    These people are too heavily indoctrinated to seek understanding of their problems using bias-balance and objective measuring principles, and many refuse to admit any validity to opposing viewpoints. This can make attempting to engage them for making a compromise agreement a bad idea.

  2. Where are the demon rights activists? Sure, save the animals, save the environment, support the downtrodden…..but what about the demons? They need human hosts to survive and if we continue to exorcise them from those hosts, the demon population will be eliminated. How can we hope to live in a diversified world when we forcibly eliminate demons?

    Save the left-footed newt. Save the owl with spots that are only slightly different from the other owls but it’s a different species, I promose. Save the do-do (wait, we messed that one up, didn’t we).

    But what about Save the demons?

  3. Kevin,

    I object in the strongest possible terms about this plot recapping. This kind of behavious forces us to think about what is happening and to remember what has gone before.

    This whole comic should be converted to a single page document containg the whole comic plot, which should be reposted according to your regular schedule.

    This would satisfy newcomers as they wouldn’t have to navigate through your system, people who have not read ALL of the archives – you know how you are, and people who have been reading a while as they will be able to read through the remainder of the plot according to his (or her) ability, withough worrying about the necessity or wading through graphics and dialogue.

    Cheers.

  4. Hunh…? Oh! I get it! Hah hah!

    Um… how ’bout this, as soon as I get back to my regular buffer zone of comics and blogs, (which would be 5 weeks, I’m at 3 now and striving furiously to continue pulling ahead) I’ll be putting a Wiki into place, which I and all of you can edit to create a complete picture of everything for everybody.

    Yay!

  5. Where are the demon rights activists? Sure, save the animals, save the “environment, support the downtrodden…..but what about the demons? They need human hosts to survive and if we continue to exorcise them from those hosts, the demon population will be eliminated. How can we hope to live in a diversified world when we forcibly eliminate demons?

    Save the left-footed newt. Save the owl with spots that are only slightly different from the other owls but it’s a different species, I promose. Save the do-do (wait, we messed that one up, didn’t we).

    But what about Save the demons?”

    Yeah, I want my rights!

  6. Having been a victim of… er, student in… wait, no I was right the first time… the Louisiana “higher education” system, I have to say, if Jindal was president of their university system it only says bad things about him. From personal experience, I can tell you that college in Louisiana (UNO, at the very least, but from what I’ve seen myself, and what I’ve been told by friends in other schools down their, UNO is typical of the state) the colleges are about on par – in terms of education delivered – to Maryland’s public high school system as it was in the late 80s and early 90s. It -is- possible to get a decent education there, but you do it despite the school rather than because of it. Of course, he has a bigger problem if he wants to be elected, namely the way he talks down to his audience like they were particularly stupid children…

    I fully believe the GOP wants to run him in 2012. They know that Obama would have to seriously screw up to not get reelected, so why waste the time, money, and effort to groom a decent candidate when they haven’t got a prayer? What I want to know is who they’re thinking about for 2016, when they may have a viable shot. Biden hasn’t got nearly the charisma to win after Obama…

  7. This is truly frightening. To think that a man with so little empathy could conceivably become president of america… How can people be so blinded by their faith that they fail to see the suffering of others?

  8. Fanatics of every religious or political colour are virtually and genuinely immune to common sense or they wouldn’t be fanatics. (Now I’m getting semantic. Oh, the irony.)

  9. I don’t think Jindal can even possibly become president… He’s more condescending than Dubya, and has less charisma than Al Gore. If he was charismatic, maybe. Then, I’d be scared.

  10. What’s truly terrifying are the comments by supportive religious believers on the page of that link, just below the article.

    I wasn’t willing to pay to read the article, so I don’t know Mr. Jindal’s full story… but I’m already hoping someone exorcises his brain from his body.

    I’m pretty sure, being pinned to the ground and surrounded by Christians chanting at me, I would have said and done just about anything to convince them I was cleansed long enough to be able to make a break for the nearest door.

    Maybe I’m possessed, too.

    • Probably. Have you eaten any apples recently? That can do it.

      If you are possessed, make sure you get lots of fiber in your diet for the next few days, and you’ll just poop him right out.