In a swedish zoo lives a chimpanzee named Santino that has set the animal behaviorist world afire.
In the calm mornings before the zoo opens, Santino quietly makes his way around the outside of his stone and concrete enclosure, placidly rapping on the walls. When he hears a hollow rap, he knocks a little harder until some of the concrete comes free. (Duing the night water can get into the wall and freeze, pushing the concrete out and creating patches of instability.) Santino then collects his chunks of stone and cement, and makes little piles of them along the front of his enclosure facing the observation area where zoo visitors will stand to see him.
Then he waits.
Invariably, some yahoo will come along and piss Santino off. The chimp hoots, growls, slaps the ground… and then pelts the offending public with his stashes of rocks, stones, and small boulders. He does this every day. (Except in the off season when the crowds are much smaller.) Scientists are all a dither because it proves conclusively that not only are chimps capable of planning ahead, they are also able to foresee future mental states. Santino is calm as he collects his arsenal, and only uses it after he gets angry. (Zookeepers now sweep Santino’s cage every morning for rock-piles, to protect visitors to the zoo.)
I am installing a gate next week around my house, to be used to house my seven new guardian-chimpanzees, who will be fed only the Jehovah’s Witnesses and magazine salesmen that they kill. I am also digging up all the grass in my front yard and replacing it with fist-sized rocks. Sharp ones.