Happy Friday the 13th, and welcome paraskavedekatriaphobics! Due to the rate of people staying in their homes out of a paralyzing sense of dread, (costing the US nearly a billion dollars in lost productivity every time it happens) Friday the 13th is actually a great day to get out and do something! Recent studies have shown an increasing trend towards the roads being safer and less crowded than other days, accidents overall are down, and horror movies are up.
Where did this superstition begin? Thanks for asking! When the Norse religion was supplanted by Christianity, the goddess Frigga (from whence we take the name Friday) was made to go live up in a cave in the mountains. Now because Frigga had been the goddess of love and beauty, and thus a hottie, Christianity necessitated that she also be a witch. So it was that every Friday, (which came to be known as the Witches’ Sabbath) Frigga invited her eleven BFFs, all witches too, along with the Christian devil, up to her cave to watch Twin Peaks and eat junk food. Thirteen in all, every Friday night.
You know that devil was catching mad nookie. Guess it wasn’t a bad day for everybody.
My grandmother was born on a Friday the 13th, as are one in two Republicans. Dick Cheney was not born on Friday the 13th, but he should have been. Jason Voorhees was never the Vice President of the U.S., although he is the second most senior Associate Justice of the Supreme Court. Without his hockey mask he looks just like Antonin Scalia. All great white sharks are born on Friday the 13th.
I think I’ll go buy a lotto ticket! I’m feeling lucky!