437

437

I treated myself yesterday and bought a package of hot dogs. I got some buns as well… which is where the real problem started. See, I had made sure to buy the bun-length hot dogs, knowing that I didn’t care for dogs that were too short for the buns. What I didn’t anticipate wasΒ inadvertentlyΒ picking up hot dog length buns, throwing all my careful planning back into the crapper.

Now I know there are bigger problems in the world, but somehow those bigger problems make me feel much less stupid than being unable to match a hot dog to a bun.

(Sorry folks! I somehow scheduled this to go live at 2:00 this afternoon. D’oh!)

11 Responses to 437

  1. Even better – did you get 10 hot dogs, and either 8 or 12 buns? That’s the one that bothers me – you always have either too few or too many buns, and you have to play a crazy balancing act to eventually even out.

    (Ok, so you can get your buns via one 8-pack and one 12-pack, plus two 10-packs of hot dogs, but still – who wants to bother with that kind of hassle!)

    Forget “bun-length” dogs and “dog-length” buns, I want 10-packs of buns or 8/12-packs of dogs!!!

  2. @Lena: Bunker insisted that Zobbie be written out of the strip. He was afraid of losing his groupies.

    @Ambience: I did good there. 8-pack of each. Normal dogs sell in 10s, bun-length in 8s.

  3. regarding strip #437: Wait, what the heck just happened?? Specifically, to Zobbie? Why’s he bleeding?

    Now I’m confused. I fully expected that hunk Zobbie to become Freya’s next (NPC) love interest… esp. in light of the fact that Mr. fictional offscreen DM is the boyfriend of Freya’s player . *cough*

    Did Freya accidentally elbow Zobbie in the face when she crouched down to pounce on Velvet? Or did Velvet do something supernatural to Zobbie to kill him? Is that what’s the big red sound effect is for?

    On a related topic, I keep wondering what Velvet is, exactly. A fiendblooded half-orc crossbreed, sort of like a tiefling, the genetic throwback to an ancestor who bred with a fiend? Or a dragonblooded half-orc, with blue dragon blood? That would explain the horns and blue skin. That is assuming all these orcs of the Baritone family are technically half-orcs like Enkidu, as Morty has claimed, not real monstrous orcs. It’s hard to believe that Velvet and Mars are siblings.

    P.S. Mars is a little CN punk with delusions of power, but he’s cute, in a pitiful, runt of the litter way. Perhaps Velvet can, you know, accidentally kill Enkidu or Martin. *hint hint* I bet Enkidu is just itching to make a sleazy remark about Velvet.

  4. @Christina: Look at Velvet’s chest.

    Velvet is not related to the Baritones, she’s a tiefling assassin who has worked for the Boss for a long time.

    If Bunker’s smart he’ll keep a safe distance between Velvet and Enkidu!

    • @Kevin: Throwing stars that look like… stars. Okay, that explains that. I had thought you had simply forgotten to draw them in the last panel… The artist of a certain other webcomic we both read is notorious for dropping little decorations on characters’ clothes from one panel to the next. Oh well, so I guess Zobbie is dead then.

      In regard to Mars and Velvet, I went back through the archives, you’re right, in strips #420 and 421 Mars calls her a hired killer (“your gun-for-hire”) while talking to his dad.

      The strip that had lodged the erroneous idea that Velvet was Boss Baritone’s daughter in my mind was #429: When Velvet is talking to the dead Boss, they’re acting so… familiar with each other, bantering with each other like that, like a proud (evil) crime daddy and his assassin daughter. And when Boss Baritone says, “Your mom is here too. [in hell] She says you dress like a whore.” that line sounded like he had been married to that woman for years. You know? In most movies there’s a scene like that, when the long-estranged father and daughter meet again, and talk, and in the end when she stands up to leave he says something like, “Your mom says hi, too.”

      *shrug* I guess that was the moment my gamemaster story creation brain module kicked in and subconsciously invented an elaborate story about how Velvet was Baritone’s illegitimate daughter, but Baritone had never told Mars that he (Mars) had an elder half-sister, and she wasn’t eligible to become Baritone’s successor because she was female.

      Hey, if Baritone’s older brother Janus can have a son (Shamus the Barbarian) who is clearly not a half-orc but human, their family (or should that be The Family?) obviously has no objection to interracial marriage.

      Speaking as a biologist, the fact that most of the various humanoid races in D&D can interbreed and have fertile offspring would mean they’re all part of a ring species. Not to mention dragons and fiends and djinns who can apparently breed with everything, in the famous tradition of Greek myths. Being a geneticist in a D&D Urban Arcana game would be The Worst Job Ever. πŸ˜‰

  5. @Kevin: “Look at Velvet’s chest.”, oh ok, if you really want me to.

    What was I supposed to be looking for?

    @Christina: “Being a geneticist in a D&D Urban Arcana game would be The Worst Job Ever.”
    I disagree. I think that it would be great:
    “Right, lets take these 4 completely unrelated species, interbreed them, see what we get, then take the next generation of them, interbreed those, then we should have something REALLY kooky by that time”.

    In relation to the comic, That is probably the fastest kill that I have seen in a comic. Didn’t even see the moves.

    I wonder if the resident cleric can resurrect him? If it was ‘Death by DM’ probably not.

  6. @Christina: You’re funny as hell!

    Although it never actually came up, burying it in a back-post seems like a good spot. Shamus is the result of an affair between Janus, a half orc, and his maid, a human woman from Darverus. So Shamus is actually a quarter orc, but it only shows in ways you can’t see with a loincloth on. In the Family, there is no distinction drawn between legitimate and illegitimate heirs, so Shamus being born outside the marriage wasn’t a problem for him.

    I never gave too much thought to Velvet’s parentage, other than that she’s from Magborne in Darverus, which is a country run by tieflings. The Baritone family owes much of it’s wealth to dealings with Darverus, so it isn’t inconceivable that Boss Baritone could have been her father. He’s not, but there’s plenty of room in the story for you to think it if you want. πŸ™‚

    Oh yeah… Zeus appears to the woman as a cuttlefish and she decides to have sex with it? What the hell’s up with that?

    @Alan: You’re looking for the throwing stars.