Bonobos (think tall chimpanzees — though they are apparently vastly different for some esoteric reason I fail to remember at the moment) enjoy recreational sex. They like male-female, male-male, female-female, orgies, oral, anal, and masturbatory sex, and are incredibly creative with it. I think of this whenever I’m told that non-traditional sex isn’t “natural,” and because, on the off-chance that the hindus have it right and we all keep getting reincarnated until we get our lives right, I want to be concentrating in the right direction.

17 Responses to 411

  1. Jane Goodall spent her life watching them have the kinky sex and dutifully recording it. When they see a pile of food they don’t fight over it; they have an orgy, then stumble up to it to eat once they’re good and tired. Sadly enough, after she died, it was discovered that if you fence them in on all sides they form into gangs and kill each other. Meanwhile Palestine is being exterminated because Hezbollah, which is from Iran, is provoking Israel. Palestine is fenced in on all sides. Maybe back when Jesus lived there they used to have orgies?

  2. Dogs on their youth usually seem to fight with other dogs by no apparent reason. They leap to each other, they claw themselves, they bite themselves…heck, look carefully two dogs fighting, and all of a sudden they go kinky.

    Surprise, they’re playing with each other. And probably they don’t care what they’re doing, they believe it’s fun. It’s us that seek to provide a reasoning to that behavior, mixing it with our own urges.

    Or something. Feeling kinda blah at the moment.

    Comic-wise: it seems Shamus is particularly fond of “boot to the face”. Seems he likes to do that; probably it’s his response to everything.

    Random NPC: Excuse me, where’s the way to the city?
    Shamus: Right there, ma’am.
    Random NPC: Where?
    Shamus: *boot to the face* That way.
    Random NPC: OWWW!! Thanks…
    Shamus: you’re *boot to the face* welcome

    …and so on. It’s not as funny without an audio clip, sadly.

    *boot to the face of Kev*

  3. Conflict resolution by orgy seems a clever and fun means of settling matters. I bet you’d have a lot more people willing to become negotiators too.

    Hysterical, Oscar!

    The question, Alan, is if these players even realize they’re in combat yet.

  4. The amusing point, to me, of this current comic thread is; Shamus seems to have caught the party monologueing…

  5. Interestingly enough, there’s a college student that learned that long ago and named his web comic Bonobo Conspiracy. That’s where I first learned about bonobo monkeys.

    Those that try to suppress or control human sexual behavior remind me of a effort by Dilbert to make a web filter to block all pornography on the Internet, to which Dogbert commented something like, “So you’re pitting your intelligence against the collective sex drive of every teenager on the Internet?” Such efforts at control are as doomed to failure now as it was since long before man started chipping flint. All they do is waste time and money and make everyone unhappy. The best one can hope for is to divert or delay it a bit, or at least arrange for as little damage to come out of it as possible.

  6. @Retiarius: Apes, not monkeys. But your larger point is well taken. I’ve always suspected that the real goal was not to suppress sex, but actually to make everyone as unhappy as possible by attacking the things that folks enjoy. Sex, movies, games, music, felching… you get the point.

    Singing hymns will NEVER be as much fun as being naked in the park.

  7. Point. Amazing how a stupid movie gets you all mixed up with Dian Fossey. And here I thought Goodall had been murdered by the poacher mafia instead of leaving one step ahead of the fuzz. Hail Enkidu!

  8. Dolphins have awesome sex lives as well

    I find it absurd that anyone can keep either the delusion that humans are the only species who have non-reproductive sex, or the only species that engages in war (yes i have heard this one). People so strongly want to believe that there is something ‘wrong’ and ‘unnatural’ in behaviors they don’t like that they ignore both logic and evidence. And thus politics was born and the truly confusing and unnatural behaviors began.

    • There remains a strong Protestant “ethic” among some of the most pious that anything that is too enjoyable is of the devil. (Not making this up.) They literally believe that the earth was put here by god to make man suffer and purge his sins that he might become worthy of heaven. If you ain’t sufferin’, you ain’t doin’ it right. Collectively, these folks are known as “Dumbasses.”