307-You Can’t Handle the Truth!

It’s been the trend for years now that successful video games have been making the crazy money. Like, big movie blockbuster money. Unsurprisingly the makers of said big movie blockbusters have tried, time and again, to cash in on this — to generally lesser degrees of success. They are almost always highly inferior efforts. (A few, Spiderman and Harry Potter, for instance, try hard to swim against this tide. Some people even think that they have.)

Disney probably has the most successful video game business model. They have made what essentially boils down to one game. Collect the coins/gems/bananas/crack pipes/whatever constitutes points while avoiding/bouncing/poking/blowing the monster/garbage man/evil frog/presidential candidate until the final cut scene. Change the graphics to suit whatever movie it is you’re matching it up to, and market it to kids who are too young to notice that you’ve sold them the same game thirty times.

Against this backdrop Universal and Paramount have announced that they’re getting into (or back into in Universal’s case) the video game game. Universal is going a pretty typical route and is tying games to big money action/popcorn flicks, but it’s Paramount that’s really caught my attention. They’ve decided to take a different direction, and have announced three smaller titles based on… we’ll say less obvious films.

Paramount’s first three offerings to the video game world are to be:
Clueless
Mean Girls
and Pretty in Pink.

Yes, that’s right, Pretty in Pink. Battle the “Richie” kids Benny and Steff… stuff your bra for extra points when meeting Blane at the music store, TRAX… ignore Ducky for an invite-to-the-prom power-up… win the boss fight with Dad for a new pink dress… the action never ends!

I’d love to make fun of the other two movies but I never saw them. I wonder if these games will be coming out on the Wii? Ooo… maybe they’ll make Heathers into a video game! Or When Harry Met Sally!

Okay, who would look sexier with a gauss cannon? Molly Ringwald or Meg Ryan?

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