286-Press Conference

I had a great dream last night. I know it came from our marathon session (marathon because it lasted WAY longer than it should have) through the Wailing Caverns of WoW, which stretched until 1:30 in the morning. Lena and I are both playing Tauren (cow people) druids and got a gang of guildies up for the ride. So many of our on-line friends showed up we had to make 2 separate groups.

Anyway, after the show was over Lena and I went to bed. It seemed as if I almost immediately fell into a sprawling dream wherein Lena and I were traversing treacherous rocky foothills and desolate swamps with our gigantic hammers and fiery spells. We were attacked by bears, lion-sized lynxes and stunted goblins… all of which we blasted, crunched, or burned aside in our quest for… uh… well I guess that part isn’t that important anyway.

I think the thing I came away with the most was how real and non-cartoony everything was. WoW has a real artistic sensibility to it that my dream almost completely lacked. (Except for the hammers.) Everything looked like it belonged in the real world. Considering this, I found a notion I had played around with since being a kid, that my brain was both the cheapest and the best CGI equipment ever created! I mean, how much money do they spend on a really big computer game these days? A special effects-intensive summer blockbuster? And how longdoes it take them? Two years? Three? And all I have to do is go to sleep. (snicker)

Though some late-night Mexican food doesn’t hurt either.

I think I was thirteen when my best friend at the time’s mom was talking to me about hooking a VCR up to a person’s head and recording their dreams while they slept. Although I could never adequately explain to her that the communications systems between a brain and a video tape were fundamentally incompatible, it was still a brilliant idea. I often lucid dream, (like last night) and though I never thought of it, what if that skill was to become the foundation of the next major entertainment breakthrough? If someone could invent a device to record dreams, then having someone who could dream what you told them to would be a gold-mine. And it’s not as far off as you’d think.

There are already prosthetic arms that can be manipulated and used merely by the brain’s instructions received via nerve endings, ears that can transmit sounds directly to the nervous system, and most importantly, replacement eyes that can show the person a static-y image of what they would ordinarily be able to see. Total ear and eye replacement is the precursor I’ve been waiting for to recording dreams.

So if anyone from Hollywood is reading this right now, go ahead and get your investment capital all lined up. I may not be cheap, but I’m a damn sight cheaper than the entire production cost of a full-blown movie project. I’ll be happy to dream any movie stars you want into your picture at no extra cost, and everyone is willing to work nude. In the meantime, I’ll be dreaming of all our money.

Don’t forget the Taco Bell.


Just wanted to let you guys know that I am now finishing up the last few items for H.O.L.E., Book II: Glandiri’s Gold. I won’t be taking preorders this time, and will instead be making it available for everyone at the same time. This book will include strips 116 through 272, and a book exclusive Playorc interview with the big man himself, Enkidu!

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