One of our gaming pals was telling Lena the other day about a report she had seen to the effect that nursing homes were pretty much carbon copies of high school lunch rooms. This clique sat on these sofas, that clique had to use the uncomfortable chairs and so on. Apparently the criteria used for establishing these cliques were things like mobility and degree of dementia. (The “popular kids” can walk with just a cane and still remember yesterday better than 75 years ago.) How ridiculous is that? This is what we have to look forward to?

But wait. I have an idea.

I have been shunted to the side my entire life by people whose hobbies and interests were more mainstream than mine. It’s a real pisser, and I’m far from the only one. Personally as an adult, I pretty much ignore it. There are still plenty of people who start to hear about Dragon*con only to have their eyes roll up into the back of their head, or who wouldn’t know a role playing game if it were chewing on their leg. That’s okay, to each his own. They don’t need to know what I really think of people who recreate by sitting around watching other people recreate on the golf course anyway.

However… I think having to put up with the cliquishness of high school as folks shuffle off their mortal coil is too much to ask. Therefore I am formally suggesting nursing homes for geeks. Dungeons and Dragons in the east wing, mmorpg players in the west, Magic the Gathering cats can hang out in the media room. Wednesday could be GURPS and salisbury steak day, and the glue and popsicle sticks could be replaced with miniature paints and Playstation 3s. We could even have a yearly convention where all us old folks dress up as characters from our favorite online comic strip. (Hint, hint!)

I guess it wouldn’t be fair to exclude LARPers, or even SCA people, though they better stick to their side of the memorial garden! And I do not want to have to share my X-Box couch with one of those “let me tell you about my character” type guys. Ugh! Vampire players are okay… but have you seen the way they dress? Who wants to live forever looking like that? I’ll bet those guys are still virgins!

Ah yes… my nursing home is going to be perfect.

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