196-To Mock a Killingbird

I have never been a fan of Daylight Savings Time. It always felt to me like it ought to be named Pain in Kevin’s Ass Time. It didn’t help that no one could ever offer me a reasonable sounding explanation for why we did it. The explanation I was given is that DST saves money because people don’t have to light their homes for an extra hour at night. For years I thought that lighting your house in the morning cost less than lighting it at night. As it turns out, the opposite is true. Waking people up an hour early creates greater peak time usage, and people tend to leave their lights on longer into the day when they don’t need them anymore, so DST actually costs more than it saves.

Of course my biggest gripe was always the way it messed with my sleep. Even as a kid I didn’t appreciate it, and as an adult I am no happier. I like going to sleep and waking up at the same time. It makes me happy and productive for the whole day. Screwing up the schedule results in crankiness, dozing at work, and late blog entries. What do you think the odds are that I’m the only human being in the world who feels this way? Any kind of guess at how much cash gets lost to sleepy and unproductive workers every time we adjust the clocks? I know I made it a habit to show up an hour late every time DST started just because that was the one day I knew I could get away with it.

There are statistics on book showing that DST saves money, reduces automobile accidents, provides economic boosts, and prevents cakes from falling in the oven. There are also statistics showing the exact opposites of all of these same things, and in greater numbers. (This is why baking is known as a winter and summer sport.) In the spirit of fair play, I’m willing to call it all a wash, and simply ask the question, “Do you like Daylight Savings Time?” If a majority of folks don’t like it, let’s get rid of it. If they do like it, then we’ll keep it, and I’ll shut up about it — as soon as everyone who voted “yes” signs a piece of paper acknowledging that they’re going to hell for making me wake up an hour early for no goddamn reason.

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I promised you guys a surprise and here it is! Next week, starting Monday the 12th, HOLE will be updating 3 times a week! That’s 50% more HOLE, for the same low low price of nothing! Updates will be midnight Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and blogs will continue to be whenever I get them up on Tuesday.

Who loves ya, baby?

One Response to 196-To Mock a Killingbird

  1. Well then Mr. Pettway, here goes.

    During that time of the year, the Earth and the Sun are aligned in such a way that certain parts of the planet (which is oval-shaped, hence Daylight Savings Time being used only in some places and not all) are exposed for a longer period of time, thus effectively prolonging our days and shortening our nights. (sux 2 b us, I’m a night person)

    This explanation doesn’t make me any happier about DST, but it’s definitely more accurate than saying DST was made up for economic reasons. That makes absolutely no sense at all, otherwise why wouldn’t DST be our normal time all throughout the year?

    Cheers, mate.