150-My Other Boat is a Ferrari

Lena saw this thing on Oprah, and insisted we try it. I rarely mind trying something new, so I agreed. We went to White’s Pharmacy, (the same place where I was so well treated when I was getting the drugs for my wisdom teeth removal) and picked it up. It was twenty-five bucks.

The Neti Pot

It’s ceramic, about seven inches long, and functionally similar to a watering pitcher. It goes in your nose.

Now I figure that a small percentage of folks out there are sagely nodding their heads right now, thinking, “Oh good. More people ought to know about this.” A significantly larger percentage are thinking, “Your nose? What the hell would you do that for?” Well that’s what I’m going to tell you.

The idea is that you’re pouring salt water through your head to flush out your sinuses. (Doesn’t this sound fun already?) You lean over with the end of the watering can stuck up your top nostril, and if you’re doing it right, the water fills up your sinuses and comes out the bottom nostril. I found a video showing a robot using a Neti Pot. (Don’t be fooled by it’s human-like appearance, if you watch the eyes, you can tell its just a robot.)

Instructional Video

So, I have allergies. Lots of folks do. As it turns out, my allergies are aggravated by an accumulation of irritants in my sinuses. As it also turns out, I can now do something about it. I was used to having a headache every day when Lena and I went for our walks. I haven’t had one in a month since Lena bought this thing. I breathe better, snore less, and as a result sleep better too. Lena claims it helps your eyes too since it supposedly cleans your tear ducts from behind, but I wouldn’t have any way to judge. It is supposed to be great for asthma sufferers too, a problem that has been gaining traction as our air becomes more polluted.

As an added bonus the Neti Pot provides a cheap high the first week or so that you use it. If your body is used to operating below the normal gas-exchange rate as most of us with clogged sinuses do, suddenly opening those holes is kinda like breathing oxygen. It only lasts a few minutes, but it’s fun and doesn’t leave you with the munchies.

So if you’ve been casting about looking for something interesting to stick up your nose, head down to the local health food store or holistic drug store and pick up a Neti Pot. If you don’t like it, you can always use it to water the flowers.

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