What is H.O.L.E.?
H.O.L.E. are the Heroes of Lesser Earth. They are the characters of an average pack of gamers (loosely based on the gaming stories of every game I have ever played in) traversing the world in search of adventure, wrongs to right, innocents to save... but mostly prodigious piles of cash. They stride the dangerous corridors of Lesser Earth (see below) like tiny, human-sized giants out of myth. Their cause is true, and their purpose is just, and for those times when it isn't, well, we'll just rack that up to stupidity.
The heroes are Bunker, the leader, Morty, his best friend and the group’s healer, Enkidu, the irresponsible half-orc, Freya, the DM’s girlfriend, Martin, the slightly dark warlock and Fleece, Martin’s cohort. Though up until now the party has been primarily reactive as the villains has slowly shown their faces, things are about to change…
What is Lesser Earth?
The Worlds of Fantasy (as defined by... oh... say, the Great Sage Reelshmart—does that sound like an intelligent name?) consist of three major realms. These are the Greater, Middle, and Lesser Earths. Greater Earth is all dirt. Solidly packed, floor to ceiling, for as far as you care to go in any direction. Nobody lives there except for gophers, who wish they didn't because there's nothing to eat. Except for smaller gophers.
Middle Earth we're all pretty familiar with by now. That's the one with hobbits and elves and Peter Jackson and rings and giant eagles and horrible, dark, nasty, villainous eyeballs that live on top of skyscrapers in the middle of vast stretches of extremely non-arable land that nevertheless seem to support godzillions of orcs, goblins, and trolls. (Middle Earth is now available for the illiterate!)
Well, Lesser Earth is a lot like that one, except everything is cheaper and breaks more easily. It's also slightly smaller, and it's nearly impossible to find a competent engineer to help you build that evil skyscraper.
Who are the Heroes?
Bunker: (Human Fighter, Alignment: Neutral Good) Bunker is the leader of H.O.L.E. and fortunately one of its slightly more responsible members. He is a man with a secret, one he's unwilling to share with even his closest friends. (I know what it is, but since I don't want to have to come back and rewrite this paragraph anytime soon, you'll all have to wait for it!) Armed with his trusty green-hilted sword Homage, Bunker is actually looking to do a little good in the world.
Being basically open and kindhearted, Bunker often wears that heart on his sleeve, He has at various times developed crushes on Fleece, Freya, and most recently Samantha, the leader of her own group of hardy adventurers.
Morty: (Dwarf Cleric, Alignment: Lawful Good) Morty wants to help people, but the truth is, he's never really gotten a good handle on this whole alignment thing. It almost seems as if he picked his out of a cereal box. He worships the dwarven god Lageron and his heavenly concubine G'ale, creators of the dwarven race, but much better known for being the gods responsible for beer.
The last time Morty was killed, he was reincarnated as a short, squat, dwarf-sized troll. The party gave him a hat of disguise to hide his warts and make him look like a proper dwarf again. The one thing that no one anticipated was that he would continue to grow to the size of a tall, rubbery, troll-sized troll. Thankfully he still has his hat!
Enkidu: (Half-Orc Fighter/Wizard, Alignment: Chaotic Neutral) Raised in the human city of Brighthaven and schooled in the finest institutions, Enkidu is not your typical half-orc. In fact, he considers himself an orc first and last and reacts poorly to those who refer to him as being half-human. Enkidu's overarching goal is to reunite the orcish tribes and lead a grand campaign to knock the humans out of the dominant spot in the world.
After meeting Ferris the wizard, Enkidu has decided that perhaps there is more to magic than scorching ray after all, and has applied himself a bit more in this area. Why, with all those spells available, there must be dozens of ways to set fire to people!
Freya: (Human Fighter, Alignment: Neutral Good) From faraway Calypsia in the Bulwark Islands, Freya is a professional adventurer. She has spent much time wandering the world and sailing the oceans of Lesser Earth. In combat she is dizzyingly effective with her glaive, and is a superior tactician. Needless to say, she feels completely wasted in this collection of jackasses.
Her trials include memory loss, being taken advantage of by a certain unnamed half-orc named Enkidu, unwanted advances from Bunker, unwanted inattention from Bunker, squabbling with the DM, and being turned into a vampire. Still, she keeps playing, so her pain threshold must not have been hit yet!
Martin: (Human Warlock, Alignment Neutral) Staunch defender of his perfectly game-balanced class, (in his opinion) Martin is is a constant source of amusement… to himself. Though he does seem to care about his fellows, he doesn’t seem quite capable of thinking of them as equals. More like cats that are fun to poke at with a stick.
Recently Martin has been plagued by his vampire of a father, Drago. After dying and being turned into a literal vampire, Drago tried to eliminate Martin and was himself done away with. (See “Martin’s Song,” from Book One of the Heroes of Lesser Earth, “Running With Broadswords.”) Or so Martin thought. Now Drago has popped up again on a deserted island a thousand miles from where he was supposedly destroyed. He may not be a good parent, but he’s a persistent one.
Fleece: (Wood Elven Rogue/Swashbuckler, Alignment Neutral) Fleece isn’t technically a character at all, being Martin’s cohort and therefore part of his character. Setting aside the possibly masturbatory nature of their relationship, Fleece does bring a lot to the table for a group of adventurers. Especially a group that left home without a rogue. She is highly skilled at the dungeoneering aspects of roguery, such as traps and locks, and seems to be greatly adept at retrieving items people may have thoughtlessly left discarded in their pockets.
Combat does not seem to be Fleece’s forté, as she finds the notion of getting stabbed only slightly less appealing than the idea of getting blood on her ninety gold piece designer blouse. Here her other skills, such as hiding and being quiet come to the fore.
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