Heroes of Lesser Earth http://www.heroesoflesserearth.com Wed, 12 Mar 2014 23:57:05 +0000 en-US hourly 1 Captain Ultraviolence Edition http://www.heroesoflesserearth.com/2012/02/captain-ultraviolence-edition/ http://www.heroesoflesserearth.com/2012/02/captain-ultraviolence-edition/#comments Wed, 22 Feb 2012 14:51:45 +0000 http://www.heroesoflesserearth.com/?p=6339 Captain America: First Avenger was one of Lena’s favorite movies of the last season, and I pretty much loved it too. There was an actual story, stayed true to the character, and still managed to show us things we had never seen before. This was one of the reasons I was so excited to see there was a sequel coming.

This next vid is really just an (old) ad for Family Guy, but it’s so geek-adjacent I felt like it had a place here. Make it so!

Yeah, yeah, you all know what this is. I promise I’ll get it out of my system eventually.

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Karate Don’t Sing Edition http://www.heroesoflesserearth.com/2012/02/6336/ http://www.heroesoflesserearth.com/2012/02/6336/#comments Tue, 14 Feb 2012 15:28:01 +0000 http://www.heroesoflesserearth.com/?p=6336 To begin, a movie about solving a jigsaw puzzle. I don’t know if kids these days still do these, but when I was young it was a lot of fun. I imagine puzzle games on the computer or console serve much the same purpose.

Following is easily the best in our continuing series of White People Rap, The Karate Rap. It’s around four and a half minutes, but it does get (unintentionally) more ridiculous as it goes. If you ever wanted to be a combo samurai/shogun/ninja, thins could be the place for you.

Finally. . . well, you know what this is.

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http://www.heroesoflesserearth.com/2012/02/6330/ http://www.heroesoflesserearth.com/2012/02/6330/#comments Tue, 07 Feb 2012 05:00:32 +0000 http://www.heroesoflesserearth.com/?p=6330 The role Barry Bostwick was born for…

I think this is the first Songify video I’ve put up here… but I guess it was high time. In any case, it was pretty damn funny.

And now, for our obligatory Skyrim video, (at least until I get finished with my first play-through) we learn why guards are all pansies.

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The Keep Your Coat On Pizzeria Edition http://www.heroesoflesserearth.com/2012/01/6325/ http://www.heroesoflesserearth.com/2012/01/6325/#comments Tue, 31 Jan 2012 15:14:20 +0000 http://www.heroesoflesserearth.com/?p=6325 A rose, by any other name, is still a rose. But if thou callest a bucket full of pig shit a rose, thou art a goddamn liar.

Don’t you just know this is what gets said when the cameras are off?

Turn the closed captioning on while you watch this, to get the full, intended effect. It won’t help you understand at all, but at least you’ll know what they’re saying.

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Stayin’ Alive in Skyrim Edition http://www.heroesoflesserearth.com/2012/01/stayin-alive-in-skyrim-edition/ http://www.heroesoflesserearth.com/2012/01/stayin-alive-in-skyrim-edition/#comments Tue, 24 Jan 2012 13:23:27 +0000 http://www.heroesoflesserearth.com/?p=6322 Times have changed. Mouth to mouth and CPR is now less effective than CPR alone for a stopped heart. (Wonder who was willing to test that out?) Snatch’s Bullet Tooth Tony is teaching life-saving techniques, and disco has become the great healer of men.

I have to admit… Nicole Kidman has never really been my favorite actress.

This is a very cute Skyrim video, that can be enjoyed by anyone, whether you play or not. You may notice that all of these videos end more or less the same way, although in this case, that was likely the entire point.

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Oh iPhone, Just Kill Me Now Edition http://www.heroesoflesserearth.com/2012/01/oh-iphone-just-kill-me-now-edition/ http://www.heroesoflesserearth.com/2012/01/oh-iphone-just-kill-me-now-edition/#comments Tue, 17 Jan 2012 17:53:18 +0000 http://www.heroesoflesserearth.com/?p=6316 I have never made an online dating profile video, but if I did, I think this is what it might look like.

Many of you know that I got my iPhone the morning they first came out. As an experienced user, I can tell you that the following scenario almost never happens.

Just another reason not to miss dating.

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Silly Season Edition! http://www.heroesoflesserearth.com/2012/01/6313/ http://www.heroesoflesserearth.com/2012/01/6313/#comments Tue, 10 Jan 2012 16:21:24 +0000 http://www.heroesoflesserearth.com/?p=6313 It seems like you just can’t be a scandal-ridden failed presidential candidate these days without somebody making fun of you over it.

Yet another installment of the “Who put that guy on TV?” show. (By the way, I am outraged at the phallic shape of everyone’s neckties.)

Appealing to the base. The line for bigots and fundies starts here!

And the rebuttals…

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The Tuesday Videos: The Misinformed Edition http://www.heroesoflesserearth.com/2012/01/the-tuesday-videos-the-misinformed-edition/ http://www.heroesoflesserearth.com/2012/01/the-tuesday-videos-the-misinformed-edition/#comments Tue, 03 Jan 2012 05:00:52 +0000 http://www.heroesoflesserearth.com/?p=6311 Our first vid is for you young whippersnappers who think that Star Wars starts with number one. It doesn’t. It starts with number four and number one comes much, much later… if at all. Whatever. Anyway, there are are a disturbing number of kids out there who think that Four through Six were those “old” movies and they never bothered to see them. For you, I have brought this; a summary of the three original Star Wars movies.

Honestly, I simply lack the words to express just how stupid this is.

You know, I understand people who love their animals, I really do. And while I certainly applaud what this young woman is doing to get back her pet, I really have to question whether it’s the best way to retrieve a stolen dog.

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The Thursday Blog: Working For A Living Edition http://www.heroesoflesserearth.com/2011/12/the-thursday-blog-working-for-a-living-edition/ http://www.heroesoflesserearth.com/2011/12/the-thursday-blog-working-for-a-living-edition/#comments Thu, 29 Dec 2011 05:00:36 +0000 http://www.heroesoflesserearth.com/?p=6302 Santa found the house again this year, despite the cutbacks on the Christmas tree. Because of the new dog, (Kaylee the Devourer of Worlds) we decided that the full-sized tree might be a bad idea. The dog has slowly been cleaning up the back yard by grabbing sticks, branches, vines, and whatever bits of the house she can pry off and bringing them inside, where we take them from her and “store” them in the “yard-cookie container,” otherwise known as the kitchen trash can. (But don’t tell her!) I can only imagine what she would do to an artificial tree with fake snow, miniature pine cones, glass ornaments, and covered in Christmas lights. The yard-cookie container isn’t that big.

So this year we went with a four-foot pre-lit we picked up at Lowes, and put it on top of the built-in book shelf in the living room — behind the dog crate and away from inquisitive little puppy faces. This gave Santa the perfect spot to deposit gifts, as the tree only took up about a quarter of the space up there.

Now Santa and I gave this little game we play with each other every year around Christmas time. Starting November first, neither of us is allowed to purchase anything else for ourselves. If you want a new toy, you have to wait until Christmas. But… you are not allowed to ask for it! (These aren’t my rules, they came with Santa when we got married.) You may hint at something that you want, but if you hint too strongly and it looks like you are actually asking for it; you can just forget about it. Those two months then become a sort of sinister dance of hint and counterhint, with everyone trying hard not to mention anything in an offhand sort of way that they don’t actually want, while at the same time trying to tease meanings out of everything the other person says. It can be nerve wracking if you let it, but I simply save receipts.

So there was really only one thing I wanted this year, and fortunately I apparently managed not to talk about it so much that I got blackballed. I got some other stuff to that was really great, (especially the Sunnydale High and Blue Sun t-shirts) but those were just gravy. Mostly, I got Skyrim.

Now if you’ve never played one of Bethesda’s Morrowind Scrolls titles, they are basically giant, open sandbox-style fantasy RPGs. While greatly refined, this one is not all that different from their previous offerings, which is just fine with me. The main idea in Skyrim is to deal with the dragons that are popping up all over the place. Dragons have been extinct for a great long while, but somehow one of them has managed to come back, and he’s flying about resurrecting all the others. At least that’s what I hear, anyway. I don’t actually know. I have yet to begin the main quest line in the game, (the one that “turns on” the dragons) and have instead been playing with the crafting system.

As in other games of the genre, crafting can play an important part if you want it to. You can be a blacksmith, alchemist, enchanter, cook; you can mine, skin hides, run around the countryside picking flowers, tons of stuff to keep you happily occupied instead of killing dragons. In fact, I decided early on that the dragon killing might prove to be a distraction to me from crafting and selling enchanted iron daggers. Thus far I’ve been very happy with my decision.

Eventually I do plan on getting around to the actual game part of the game. I’m a werewolf now and that’s supposed to be helpful for killing dragons… or at least running away from them. I just don’t want to feel rushed, and there is little that is more hurrying than being attacked by a fifty-foot long fire breathing lizard while you’re knitting tea cozies.

Oh wait… what can I make out of dragons?

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The Tuesday Videos: George and Klaus Edition http://www.heroesoflesserearth.com/2011/12/the-tuesday-videos-george-and-klaus-edition/ http://www.heroesoflesserearth.com/2011/12/the-tuesday-videos-george-and-klaus-edition/#comments Tue, 27 Dec 2011 05:00:27 +0000 http://www.heroesoflesserearth.com/?p=6298 Our first video is a training video for forklift drivers from Germany. No I used to drive a forklift myself, (a few years ago) and I don’t remember the job being quite this… hazardous. But maybe I was just lucky. (BTW, the whole video was 9 minutes+, this is just the highlights.)

Next is an enactment of the scene that plays through every father’s head as he watches his daughter walk out of the house by herself. Every time.

Finally is a video that has been getting some serious play recently. I saw it awhile ago on George Takei’s Facebook post… but it was Christmas and it took me awhile to get back to the regular geek stuff. Anyway, it hit pretty big and got picked up by a few entertainment news shows, so you might already have seen bits of it on TV or elsewhere. But in case you haven’t, or just wanted to watch again, here it is whole and in all its incendiary glory.

Oh myyy…

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