2) Had to laugh – not sure you can fix that one! Maybe you can count the sci-fi weapons in the loot you collect? They’d have to be worth several million gp each! That should make the DM pause a bit the next time…

To “rail-road” your players, simply present them with a situation where they have no options but the one(s) you want them to choose. For example, let’s say you’re describing a valley in front of them, and a player decides to get side-tracked:

DM – You see a shadowed valley, with tall pines and a winding river. Standing on a glistening rock, you…
Player – Ooh, the rock is glistening, must be gold! I smash it open.
DM – What? No, um, you find nothing. So, standing next to…
Player – I search the rubble.
DM – You find nothing! There’s nothing there!
Player – It must have been a magic shield I saw. Let’s camp here and try to break the shield!
DM – Suddenly, a group of 5 trolls approaces from behind.
Player – Giants! Crap, ok, we need to fight them if we want to figure out this shield.
DM – Then 10, no 100, more trolls appear. And giants. In fact, the giants just bend down and flick you over the edge into the valley. And there’s no way to climb back up.

See how the DM gently guided the players along the proper path? Magic is also your friend: “You can’t climb over the wall because… it’s magically slippery. Cast by a level infinity wizard, so you can’t break the spell.” Whatever happens, it’s the DM’s job to ensure the pesky players stay on the path he/she has spent the previous week creating.

Whatever you do, make sure you have fun, at the players expense.

1) There’s this cool webcomic I read which has an interesting blog/thing going on. It recently started a question/answer thing for some undisclosed reason. The problem is, I’m already really smart and all the questions I can think of I can answer myself! How do I jump on the bandwagon in a clever but not obvious manner?

2) Right, so, I have this band. Only my bassist’s being a dick and has disappeared. He did not show up for practice, we could not get ahold of him, blah blah blah. Since the band is actually very, very new, the drummer (keep in mind we’re currently a 3-man project) is talking about replacing him with this other bassist he knows. How do I punish the bassist for being an apresent dick without driving him away from the band completely?

3) Should I play World of Goo, Champions Online, or Dwarf Fortress this week?

heh heh heh ran outta time on edit

heh violet is gonna “has conjugal bliss” caveman style. thats too funny

i remember when the church tried to get dnd banned in the late 70s early 80s even wrote a song about it. we were all “satan worshippers” and conducting satanic rituals at game tables

as for satan being from texas: well its hot down here but not